7 Days Left

Our time here in White Bear Lake has ended. Half of our vacation is over and now, after a brief visit to Stillwater to say goodbye to the kids, we're heading down to Chicago for a few days.

This past week we spent time with family, tried to see as many people as we can, and constantly seemed to be on the go. I think Chicago will probably be just as busy. Lotsa people to see, and lotsa things to do.

Stay Tuned...

Verbal Postcards

So we're experimenting with a new digital camera this trip and unfortunately we don't have a cable to upload pics right now. In lieu of actual pics I will now attempt to describe several memorable, some boring snapshots of our holiday trip so far...

Sara and I meet up with Sara's very pregnant best friend, Katie, for lunch at Donatelli's. Apparently the owner of this Italian eatery has adopted the classic cartoon character The Pink Panther as his unofficial mascot. The stained-glass windows, the chandeliers and - most impressive of all - a full blown Xmas mural utilizing Pink Panther stuffed animals in several winter scenes. Pink Panther Santa. Pink Panther elves in the workshop. Pink Panther hunters huddled together around a fire. Bizare!

Sara and I met up with her High School sweetheart and his wife at the 617, a local bar here in White Bear Lake. We huddled around our table in a red leather booth sipping beer and feeling each other out. Then the party continued back to their place where we ate freshly baked cookies and jammed on Guitar Hero! Lots of fun!

The Nelson Family Xmas was an event to be remembered! A room full of smiles, and champagne glasses. White Elephant gifts exchanged. Seats were wetted with Xmas cheer!

Hope you enjoy your holidays! We'll post pics when we get a chance.

The Land of 10,000 FROZEN Lakes!

Well we arrived safely here in White Bear Lake, Minnesota.

The 1st day was a cake walk. Traffic was light. Weather was good. We managed to get to Chicago in just around 12 hours. We stayed in for a quiet night with friends, hoping to get an early start on the 2nd day.

Day number 2 was slightly less smooth-going. Snow drifts. Wind gusts. Frozen roadways. Dirty windshields! They all worked together to try and stop our progress. We would not be daunted. We pushed on and arrived in Minnesota around 6 Sunday night; road weary and freezing. (The car's outdoor temperature gauge didn't read above zero the whole drive. Brrrrr!)

Road Trip!

So we're packing our bags and heading to the Midwest! We, Sara & I, will be spending the holidays in Minnesota with the In-Laws. Tomorrow morning we're gonna wake up and hit the road at the butt crack of dawn. Driving my mom's borrowed CR-V. Xmas music blaring on the radio. The wife and dog along for the ride. Hopefully we'll get through the journey without meeting much of the winter weather.

Keep your fingers crossed!

Subbing...

Sometimes I look forward to my substitute teaching day, Tuesdays. Yesterday I was in a high school class and during the course of the day I:

• baked and decorated holiday cookies.
• played Dodge Pin during PE.
• ate lunch and talked football with some students.
• sat in with the chess club.
• played another round of Dodge Pin. (I was on break and I saw another class playing.)

It was a fun day, even if I didn't work on many academics. All though I am really sore from my 60 minutes of combined Dodge Pin.

I'm Torn

On the one hand I'm sad that someone would throw their shoes at our Commander In Chief - on the other hand I'm sad because I would have liked to see the penny loafers bounce off of his knobby head!

Are you kidding me?

She offered to pay us to do some yard work and rake the leaves in their yard. At the time it seemed like and insane amount for the task. I said, "Sure we'll do it, Ma."

Now, after close to 9 hours of yard work over 2 days I realize it wasn't nearly enough. It was an incredibly overwhelming job for 2 people with a rake, and a leaf blower/mulcher between them. Sara and I put in 6 hours on Saturday, and then got up and threw in another 3 hours or so on Sunday and the yard still looks like someone should rake it. That yard will never be leaf free.

It's impossible.

I have to think that it was at least 2 years worth of dead leaves if not more. The leaves were so thick that the blower was close to useless. The leaves would just shift and then fall back to the carpet of leaves covering the grass. Frustratingly slow going. It felt like trying to dig a hole in the ocean... with a spoon. This job needed an army of professional landscapers with leaf-blowers, a riding mower and more expertise than the wife and I possess.

When all was said and done we left the house dead tired with numb arms, blistered hands, and aching backs. We bagged close to 30 bags, 45 gallons each, and dumped another 14 blanket loads of leaves -figure 2 bags per dump - into the Chesapeake. We have both developed an intense hatred of yard work. Autumn used to be our favorite season and we looked forward to the falling leaves... now... I foresee many nights' sleep interrupted by screaming fits, and night panics. "Get them off me! Get them off me! Leaves! Leaves! I'm drowning in an endless sea of leaves!"

2nd Crisis Averted!

So we're house sitting this weekend. The wife and I drove all the way down to North Beach. As we pulled on the street where my folks live Sara asks, "Did you bring the keys?"

Luckily I was able to channel my inner cat burglar. We're sitting on their couch heating up dinner and anticipating a soak in the hot tub!

Crisis Averted!

The holiday show was a big success! I'll be having nightmares about the dress rehearsal until my dying day but the performance went well. The kids were happy! The parents were happy! The staff was happy! I was happy!

It's amazing. An entire semester of stress center on this one performance, this one day, and less than a half hour later all of that stress just floats away until next year.

Luckily, afterwards I was walking by the gym and I heard the Upper School playing Dodgeball. I snuck in the game and blew off some steam! (It was a dodgeball variation; knock down the opposing team's pins first.)

Calgon Take Me Away!

I really know how it feels to be, stressed out, stressed out

When youre face to face with your adversity

I really know how it feels to be, stressed out, stressed out

Were gonna make this thing work out eventually

-A Tribe Called Quest

Update with Links!

Here's what's happened since my last post:

• Brother and wife came into town to celebrate Thanksgiving. Spent the day down in North Beach flying a kite, drinking wine, eating turkey, playing Apples To Apples, and soaking in the hottub.
• Spent the rest of the weekend bundled up in my recliner fighting off the cold that's been trying to get the best of me.
• Finished reading Honeymoon With My Brother. It's an entertaining read. I would recommend it.
• Pushing through this week trying to get to our Holiday Show on Friday. I hope it works itself out. Stressing out!

Today Makes 1 Year!

365 days ago Sara and I were getting married... right around this time of night; what with the time change. We gathered with 50 of our family and friends in an old historic house in White Bear Lake Minnesota. Sara came down the stairs and she looked beautiful. We exchanged vows. Kissed. Then started our life as a married couple by hitting a bar before the reception. It was a great evening.
Now here we are 1 year later and it's fun to look back and review our first year of marriage. We fought, we cried, we laughed, we loved, we groomed each other, we cuddled, we sat in bed reading together, we walked the dog, we laughed, and we fought a little. It's been an eventful year.

As we start on our second year of marriage I can't help wondering what is in store for us. We've been together for over five years and are at a different place in our lives now than we had anticipated. I am anxious to see what other changes we will meet together in the near and distant future.

(Read the below post to see what we did to celebrate our anniversary.)

Monday is the actual date...

... but Sara and I went out last night to celebrate our 1 year anniversary. Almost 365 days ago Sara and I were finalizing plans and counting down to the nuptials. Now, here we are, a year later, and it's hard to believe that so much time has past.

We decided to go out for a celebratory dinner downtown Annapolis. We both wanted to try this restaurant, Osteria 177, so we made reservations and hoped for the best. We got downtown early so we went to another bar for a pre-dinner drink. Turns out we knew the bartender, through my brother, and got a free second round. (Gotta love it when that happens.)

Sara asked me at one point if I had told the restaurant staff that we were celebrating our anniversary; I didn't. We walk into the restaurant and give them our reservation. The hostess greets us and congratulates us on our anniversary. We are led to our table and our waitress also greets us with, "Happy Anniversary!" Hmmm, I guess I must've told the staff it was our anniversary. I didn't remember. Then she says, "Ma and Pa Patsy are putting $ towards a bottle of wine!"

The In-Laws!

That's what happened. Sara's mom had called and told the staff about our anniversary, and put down some money towards a bottle of wine.

The bottle of wine, Tofanelli's Napa Valley Charbono, was amazing. (Thank You Very Much!) Dinner also did not disappoint. We started off with beef carpaccio, and arugula salad for appetizers. For our entrees Sara had a Rockfish dinner, and I had parpadelle w/wild boar sauce. Tiramisu and after dinner drinks closed out the meal. All of the food was great. We will definitely be returning.

Gutbusters & Broken Hearts

Went to the Redskins' game last night. We lost to the Cowboys! It was a difficult loss to accept. The first drive looked good and we thought that the game might be a good one, but by the 4th quarter it was clear we were not going to pull it out. Oh well, other than the losing part I had a great time.

We got to the parking lot a few hours before the game and tailgated. We pulled out a little grill, heated up some food and drank some beer. Chicken wings, brats, and Gutbusters.

"What's a Gutbuster?" you ask?

Well, my brother wrapped a harboiled egg with bacon, then wrapped that in ground sausage, then rolled it all in steel cut oats, grits, and various spices. He baked them, I believe, and then we just heated them up on the grill. They were amazing...

(It's quite possible that the Gutbusters were probably the nicest thing my brother has ever done for me. As I bit into that heavenly morsel I found myself forgiving him for countless wedgies, and other scarring childhood memories.)


(Above Right) Adam and I relax before the game.
(Left) Reb bites into his creation!

'Obama - The Change We Need.'

'Sirius/XM Radio - The change I don't need or particularly like at this point in time!'

The Sirius/XM merger was bogged down in Congressional Hearings for an eternity and if the FCC had gotten their way it would've died on Capital Hill. Now, the merger has gone through and changes are being made and we're all going to have to adjust.

Today I got into my car to start my morning commute and my Sirius Satellite Radio unit updated. All of the sudden my preset channels are all screwy! May not seem like a big deal to you but it bugged the shit out of me. I spent the entire drive scanning through all of the channels just to see what changes had been made. The Vault is now XM's Deep Tracks! 6o's Vibrations has turned into The 60's on 6! Buzzsaw has been renamed The Boneyard! The biggest shock...  'BACKSPIN' IS GONE!  My old school rap station has been axed.   My preset channel is empty... Today of all days; I needed my 'Chubb Rock' Fix!

Damn You Change!

Dear Mr. Anonymous Driver in the Black Honda Accord,

You do not know me but I am a fellow commuter on the Washington Beltway. I, too, sit in traffic every morning, and wish for a speedier flow of automobiles. It is not always a pleasant drive. I don't imagine you like spending so much time in your car every morning; neither do I. I would like to give you a friendly piece of advice to carry with you when you're in your Black Honda Accord every morning.

You are not alone!

I am there. I am right beside you. I am in the lane next to yours. I am watching you. My jaw is stretched wide open, and my eyes are popping out of their sockets as I see you, a well-dressed, professional young man, digging up your nose to the second knuckle. We all do it. I'll admit to picking my nose in the car. I do, but I try to be discreet about it and I have never - NEVER - followed up the act by inserting the same finger into my waiting mouth, as I saw you do!

You can't dey it. You dug up your nose, while I was watching, and then put your finger in your mouth! Twice! I saw you do it twice! Who knows how many times you commited this disgusting act during your commute. I almost crashed my car I was laughing so hard! What are you driving to your first day of Kindergarten?

In closing, I would just like to say that a person's diet is their own business. I would hate to judge a person I don't know but, in this case I would have to say to you, 'You eat boogers, my good man! (My good, booger-eating man!) Gross!'

Sincerely,

Mr. I Only Had A Bagel This Morning

I'm Not Very Political!

I think it's silly to vote for someone based strictly on skin color, age, political party, or what they have between their legs!

But if I didn't I'd vote for a bright blue, 19 year old Libertarian straddling a bottomless pony keg!

• Blue because it's one of my favorite colors!
• 19 years of age because... well, that one doesn't really call for an explanation!
• Libertarian because the more I read about them the more I kinda like their thinking!
• The pony keg's just the capper!

I voted. In this state the outcome's pretty predictable but I voted so I could feel as if I have a say in the post-Bush America. We an only go up from here...

Hopefully!

Code Name: Toss N Turn

I'm reading this book about American attempts to sneak undercover agents into Nazi occupied Europe during WW II. There's a lot of details about agents, POW's camps, failed missions, etc.

I didn't sleep very well.

All night long my dreams were of parachuting into enemy territory, cyanide capsules, and Gestapo agents!

My Halloween Thus Far...

• A 21 year old student threw a tizzy in class today and attacked me. He swung ineffectual blows against my shoulder while screaming, "I hate you! I hate you! You Son Of A Bitch!"
• I covered myself with fake spiderwebs and told my Kindergarten classes to call me MR. COBB-WEB. They did. For the rest of the day.
• On my commute I listened to an hour long radio broadcast of Dracula on the Radio Classics Channel.
• Dinner with Batman and Tinkerbell!
• Bad horror movies with the Mrs! (Just finished the first one... I say, 'Boo!' Not like a ghost either, but rather like a big old, Mexican Suckfest of Boo-dom!)
  

Weird

So I was killing time between jobs today. I decided to drive over to this used bookstore. I have over 10 books on by 'to be read' list but I love looking through used bookstores. $2 books are pretty guilt free.

Anyway, I'm driving to the bookstore when I stop at a stoplight that has always been green before but today is red. I start thinking about what book I'm going to read next, how long it'll take me to read the book I'm on now, etc. When suddenly I glance up at the street name.

Grovesnor-

Why is that familiar? I don't think I've ever known the street name before but I swear it's familiar. Then I reach over to the passenger seat and pick up my current book, a non-fiction recalling of American secret agents trying to infiltrate the Third Reich, and I open the book to the last chapter I read and there is the name Grovesnor Street! The OSS headquarters was located on Grovesnor Street in London, England.

Isn't that weird? Okay, maybe not 'Twilight Zone' weird but odd enough that I felt the need to post a boring blog about it.

In Case You Were Curious.

I found this today, and told my brother I would post it, before I went to the Oyster Roast and ate myself silly. I told my dad I felt like I'd eaten so many oyster that I could crap pearls! (That's a joke.)

Sometimes Our Government Makes Me Sad

Are we a nation of imbeciles?

Do we need to be coddled; protected from ourselves?

Apparently.

I tell you what, people should be able to wear whatever they want to the voting polls. Ever heard of free speech? Six States have some kind of law against wearing campaign paraphernalia to vote: Anti-electioneering laws! (Kinda sounds like a super-villain, doesn't it.)

Beware the Electioneer! He might change your vote at the last minute with his impressive campaign wardrobe! Look out... you may vote for the Green Party! Steer Clear of the Electioneer!

Made Me Smile

That's when I realized I was in a bad mood.

Running Storm; Still Running Strong!

This past Saturday I teamed up again with my friends at Running Storm Productions - that sounds more official than saying, "My friend Dean and his camcorder." - to work on a submission for CAmm SLamm 2008. The 48 hour film festival gives each film making team a common prop and then the teams have 48 hours to write, shoot, and edit an 8 minute film.

This year the prop were lottery tickets. We incorporated the prop into the first scene of a film about a man, me, who becomes infatuated with an abandoned mannequin and fixes her up to sell on ebay. The mannequin causes a rift in my marriage and I'm forced to choose between my wife or the statue.

It was a fun day of shooting. We shot in Canton, and along the waterfront. You should have seen the looks I got carrying the mannequin around the park, playing Frisbee with her, and having a lovely picnic date. I missed the screening tonight but I am anxiously awaiting word on how the film was received.

Interesting...

'The Founding Fathers,' he explained, 'in their wisdom decided that children were an unnatural strain on parents. So they provided jails called schools, equipped with tortures called education. School is where you go between when your parents can't take you and industry can't take you. I am a paid keeper of Society's unusables - the lame, the halt, the insane, and the ignorant. The only incentive I can give you, kid, to behave yourself is this: if you don't buckle down and learn something, you'll be as dumb as I am, and you'll have to teach school to earn a living.'

- George Caldwell

THE CENTAUR by John Updike

Over a A Year Later

They've finally located Millionaire Adventurer, Steve Fossett's wreckage. If you recall the man, Fossett, whom had broken many records for global circumnavigation (Is that redundant?), both by sea and air went missing in early September 2007, after piloting a single engine plane from Nevada.

In this day and age I am always amazed when people appear to drop off of the face of the earth. Using a satellite our governments can spy on suspicious parties, and coordinate missile attacks on those parties of suspicion but it takes a lone hiker to help solve the mystery of Fossett's disappearance.

Odd.

Old Fashioned Entertainment

One of the things I like best about having Sirius Satellite Radio is the wide variety of programming choices. I can go from listening to Motown to AC/DC to Bluegrass.

Lately I've become a big fan of the Radio Classics Channel. I sit in traffic and listen to the Adventures of Superman, Tarzan, The Shadow, Sherlock Holmes and, of course, the Lone Ranger. It's fun to listen to the recorded stories and old-timey commercials. Superman saves Jimmy Olsen from an avalanche and it's all brought to you by some Kellog's cereal that no longer exists. Every one of Sherlock Holmes' adventures seems to be sponsored by a mens clothing line and they work the advertising plug into discussions with Dr. Watson.

Oh, what life must've been like before plasma screen televisions, TIVO, and Blue Ray. Families sat by the glow of their radios and tuned in to hear their favorite radio programs and cheer on the heroic efforts of Tarzan as he saves yet another white woman from the savage jungle. Must have been fun. Now I get to hear some of the classic broadcasts from the comfort of my car as I wrestle with rush hour traffic.

Tonight, as I was returning home, I passed a car on the shoulder of the road. The engine was on fire - flames were shooting out, smoke was billowing out from beneath the hood and blanketing the Beltway as I listened to the close of the Superman program. I scanned the skies hopefully looking for a blue and red blurred figure streaking to the rescue. Alas, the Man Of Steel was too busy entertaining me on the radio.

Not very current but funny...

I thought this was pretty funny. Makes me want to get more involved in politics or crime fighting.

Poor Attention Span

He was complaining about one of his classes. He's trying to be a good teacher but sometimes they just don't get it - it doesn't seem like they care to get it. Anyway, he was telling me about their disruptive behavior, rowdiness, passing notes, etc. Then he said, "They were doing everything but f@#king learning!"

I snickered to myself and bit my lip. I focused on the road before me, and his voice in my headset. He kept venting about his frustrating day.

Inside my head a little imp was dancing a jig, and singing in a silly, shrill voice, 'He said butt-f@#king!'

Ye Olde NFC East!

He walked by me wearing a kilt and a Dallas Cowboys jersey; number 9.

"Hey, is that a Tony Romo skirt?" I asked sarcastically.

He looked back at me, and clenched his jaws as he focused on my Redskins hat. If his daughter hadn't been with him it might've gotten ugly - but the Maryland Renaissance Festival is all about love, fried foods, and playing dress-up so I didn't get my butt kicked today.

Mick Said It Best.

One of our students was complaining because we'd run out of time. We weren't going to get to his favorite song.

Another student, J, says, "You can't always get what you want. Right, Mr. Cobb?"

I smile and say, "Yep, but if you try sometimes..."

J jumps in, "...You just might find you get what you need."

"That's right."

"The Rolling Stones said that didn't they, Mr. Cobb?" J adds.

"They sure did."

The Fluff & Fold is now open for business.

My wife's decided to bring her blog to blogspot. Hit the link to my right and check out was she has to say. I think you'll like it!

Extra! Extra! Read All About It! David Duchovny Checks Into Rehab!

Apparently, the XFiles star has been battling sex addiction.

Now I know that addiction is a formidable foe, a terrifying beast, and a real problem for thousands of people, known as addicts. Sexual addiction? I'm a little skeptical. Especially when the man claiming to be a sexual addict just so happens to play one on TV. Seems a little sketchy to me.

That's like an actor, after portraying a cannibal, deciding that maybe he should try this human flesh diet thing. I once portrayed a drunken seaman in a Tennessee Williams play, I didn't run right out and start porking guys left and right... that would have been silly.

Here's a suggestion - maybe he should've claimed to have been abducted by aliens. Maybe that would've helped him at the box office this past Summer.

Good Luck Davy!

Less Of An Excruciating, Ouch - More Of An Embarassing, Uncomfortable Oooh!

I was told to leave my shirt on but to remove my pants, and underwear. There was a folded length of tissue like material that I was to wrap around my naked pelvis and sit in the chair. The tissue tore at the corner as I unfolded it. Then, confused, I wrapped the material around my waist and sat down promptly splitting the cover. When I turned it frontwards I exposed myself. Oh well, I figured that the urologist and the nurse were going to see my penis anyway.

I am then instructed to sit on the examining table and lay back as the nurse applies a cleaning solution to my genitals. This cleaning solution might have had ice cubes in it! It was that damn cold! Then the nurse instructs me that she is going to insert a needle less syringe - thank whatever god you believe in for that! - into my urethra to coat it with numbing gel. That was unpleasant. Then to keep the gel from leaking out she put a metal clamp around my shrink-wrapped member. The fun is just getting started.

My urologist shows up and tells me that there might be some discomfort during the procedure. I am a nervous wreck at this point because the numbing gel did not, in my opinion, have a noticeable effect. I didn't feel numb! I didn't feel as if I'd been given a local anesthetic! In fact, I was completely aware of the chip clip hanging off the end of my wang but my requests for a spinal tap were dismissed. So the doctor lifts up the torn tissue paper, removes the clamp, takes a big technologically advanced instrument - I averted my eyes pretty quickly, but to me it looked like a cross between a microscope and a caulking gun - and inserted the tip into my tip.

Then, I can only explain what I know to have happened from my point of view, he snaked a scope up my urethra while flushing water into my bladder to dilate it. I was supposed to be numb but believe me you feel a foreign presence rooting around in your bladder. He even at one point warned me, "This will be uncomfortable until I get it past the prostrate... and... there we go. Better?"

PEACHY!

Then with the scope, apparently he could see into my bladder, he was able to look around, locate the ureteric stent, get a hold of one end and tug. This was not a quick removal. Okay, so maybe once the caulking gun was applied the procedure took less than two minutes, but they were the longest two minutes of my life! The stent ended up being about 12 inches -that's a foot, people - not to mention the length of the scope that went in to locate the stent. When the doctor pulled it all out it was horrible. I felt like I was part of a magic act and the magician was pulling a long string of handkerchiefs out of my pocket; one after another after another, etc. Only in this case it wasn't my pocket it was my pecker!

Overall???? A day that I survived... an experience that I've learned from... afoot-long tube pulled from my most intimate of appendages.

Ouch!

In a few hours I'm going in to have my ureteric stent removed! Basically, I'll get a local anesthesia and then the doctor will snake a hook of some sort up my urethra, snag the stent and pull it back out, once again, through the urethra! Which begs the question that my best friend put forth, "Where do they give you the local?"

Gotta be the penis.

So, if you'll excuse me I'd better be on my way. My penis and I have an appointment with a man with a big needle and a hook!!

When Did I Get Old?

Tonight was the 25th Annual MTV Video Music Awards!

Yeah, my that was my reaction too.

I can't wait to have children of my own so I can smack them upside the head when they refer to Lil Wayne as a music artist.

"But Dad..."

"I don't want to hear it! Bling Bling? Buy yourself a goddamn Belt Belt, Million Dollar Man! Pull your pants up!"

Sarah Connor Was Right!

Technology will be the end of mankind! *

EXAMPLE 1:

This morning I babysat my niece and nephew. As per usual during the course of the my time with the rugrats Savannah catches a glimpse my cell phone and wants to play with it. She likes the ring tones. She likes for me to take pictures and videos. She likes to pretend that she is calling someone. She likes to randomly push buttons.

My cell phone is not working correctly. I can receive calls. I can make calls. I just can't hear or be heard during those calls. Ever since I got the phone back from her sticky little paws I can't get the phone to work right. If I use my ear piece, handless, everything is fine. I've been driving myself nuts trying to figure out how her random button pressing has handicapped my phone.

Then I remember that recently, since she last had my phone, my keyguard was disabled. I don't remember doing that. Don't really know how I reactivated it today to correct the problem. Plus, I realized a few days ago that my inbox for my text messages was mysteriously wiped clean without my noticing it. Changes in my cell phone alarm me. I feel so violated - by a 2 year old cyber-criminal.

EXAMPLE 2:

Tropical Storm Hannah marches across the area and many homes are left without power... including my brother's who had a fantasy football draft scheduled for 10 PM. Needless to say a power outtage interferes with a computer draft. My brother was beside himself.

At 9:57 my cell phone rings and I answer it, using my handy dandy ear piece, and say, "You want me to draft for you, don't you?" He did. So for the next hour and a half I relayed the comings and goings, the selected picks, and random smack talk of the espn fantasy football draft to my brother who was coaching me over the phone.

The world order has been usurped my modern age technology. Grown men rendered helpless by the unexpected change in their technologically dependent routine.

Discombobulation. Stress! Techno-rage!

*Sarah Connor is a reference to the Terminator movies in which computers and man clash in a battle for survival. It is not a direct quote.

You Know I Like Me Some Sara's (I prefer mine without the H.)

I'd agree with the headline.

*I heard she even passed off her underage daughters 1st born child as her own to avoid a scandal. (At least that's what some democrats are saying.) A mother's love is pure and sweet.

Pressure

I remember High School. Peer pressure. Academic pressure. Pressure to be cool. Pressure to find your own voice. Pressure to conform. Pressure to get into a good college. Pressure to wear the right clothes. Etc, etc, etc. Not to mention that at my high school there was a fair amount of racial tension from time to time.

A high school student is subjected to enormous amounts of pressure. It can't be easy.

I though I was the bomb back in high school. I tried to be so bad ass. I was friends with the geeks, the gangstas, the mutants, the artists, the jocks and anyone else who would say hello. I dated one of the most popular girls in school. I was one half of the dynamic duo with my best friend, Gary; we were inseperable. I starred in the school plays. I wrote on the school paper. I had a car. I was funny. I was cute. I even recorded a rap single that played on WPGC's home jams.

Yet there were those individuals who either didn't like me, didn't know me or just didn't care to know me. It's always the case. You can't make everyone like you. I look back through my yearbook and I see some faces that I remember but I don't recall ever even having conversations with those people. I don't even know if they knew my name. But thanks to FACEBOOK these people now have requested my friendship. Back in the early nineties I may not have been cool enough, or smart enough to warrant a hello in the hallway but now, years later, I am offered the validation that I probably worked so hard for back in high school and there's no pressure.

So, yes, I did befriend Mr. "Best Body of The Class of 93", among others, because none of us are still the same people we were in high school... hopefully.

What's Wrong?

Kidney surgery was a success. I've been waiting two and a half weeks to go in and see my urologist again and have him take out the stitches that are still in my lower back. We also need to see how the left kidney has recovered from the surgery and schedule a time for them to pull out my uretal stint. My appointment was for today, 9/2 at 2PM. The urology office called me on Friday afternoon and informed me I would need a referral from my local doctor for my follow up urology appointment. Even though this is a post-op appointment apparently it isn't covered under my insurance unless I get a referral. I don't understand. (Of course I don't understand why I see a doctor here in Annapolis, a Urologist in White Marsh, or Woodlawn, and have my procedures done in seperate facilities in Towson either. There has to be a simpler way.) Anyway, there was a rush to get the referral in before the holiday weekend so I could keep my urology appointment today. Calls were made, messages exchanged and I find out first thing this morning that a referral was sent -

TO THE WRONG DAMN DEPARTMENT IN THE WRONG DAMN FACILITY!

A referral was sent to the nephrology department at the place where I had my procedure. I needed it sent to my urologists' office in Towson; a urology referral. When I called to have it corrected I was told that generally referrals take 2-3 business days, I've had to move my appointment to next Monday morning now, and tally up another missed day of work thanks to the less-than-simple conundrum that is health insurance. (Even if I got cleaned up and went in for a half day I'd spend two hours on the road for three remaining hours of school.)

Oh well, maybe I'll hang around the apartment and try and accomplish a few things locally. At least my dog seems to have recovered from her bout with indigestion.

Sick Puppy

So, it's close to 5:30 AM and I've been up half the night with a sick dog and a worried wife. A call to the emergency vet hotline - my wife's idea - has led to the hopeful hypothesis that Tootsie has a bad case of indigestion. We were down at the parents house yesterday and she often is spoiled with people food when we go there. Her sensitive tummy isn't doing well with yesterday's BBQ.

She's been restless. Whining. She just can't get comfortable. The two walks around the neighborhood haven't been very 'productive', if you know what I mean. She's not vomiting. She doesn't have diarrhea.

Yet!

Of course after the last few hours I'd almost prefer a spotted carpet to having to stay up all night long, watching her be so uncomfortable.

In case you didn't know -

• Today I don't have classes until the afternoon, and then my long weekend can finally start.
• I'm less annoyed than I was in the post below. I'm glad I spoke my mind.
  
• The Bowie Baysox lost to the Trenton Thunder in their last home game of the season (3-9). We were in the stands last night. It wasn't pretty, but they head into the playoffs 1st in the Southern Division for the first time ever.
• The Bowie Big Dog is the best 1/2 pound hot dog I have ever had - I split it with the wife. 1/2 Pound! That's a huge wiener!

I'm Just Saying.

I think I was raised to be a pretty considerate, and polite person. That being said, I can also be rude and disrespectful when I feel the need. I can be a jerk, and I know that about myself.

I am a grown man, and even though I have yet to have children, and am fairly new to responsible married life I am distressed nowadays when I am treated as if I'm a still child.

I am not an idiot. I know the right thing to do and if it is in my power I try to do that right thing BECAUSE that is who I am NOT BECAUSE others decide it would be best.

Olympic OOPS!

You lost. You missed out on the bronze medal. What do you do? Hang your head and weep in frustration? Congratulate your opponent and hold your head high as a proud contestant? Jump to your feet and start raining blows upon the Swedish Ref?

It amazes me to think that these athletes have the honor of representing their country, their culture before a world-wide audience and they throw tantrums when a call goes against them. Now I understand that some judgments, calls, points scored or penalties taken are inaccurately assessed sometimes. I also understand that athletes compete their whole life for a chance at Olympic Gold - the emotions run high, the pressure is unbelievable- but to kick a referee in the head for making a call against you?

That's not how my parents raised me.

Admittedly, I am the least competitive of 3 brothers - I was the least athletic, as well. But when I lost, for the most part, I think accepted that loss with a pinch of DIGNITY. Sure, I bitched about it on the ride home from the game, or meet. Probably moped around for the rest of the day feeling sorry for myself but I was able to look in my opponents' eyes at the time and be a good sport.

Now this Cuban athlete and his coach are banned for life!!! One blown opportunity, and an amazingly horrible lack of discipline have ended this athlete's career. Of all the wonderful triumphs, and heart-warming success stories from these 2008 Olympic games I think I am most aware of this tragic example of Poor Sportsmanship!

Now & Then

Now is never back then. Back then you couldn't wait for it to be now. The good times from back then - where are they now? The peace of mind that you long for now was just as unattainable back then. Now am I an adult? Now am I responsible? What was I then? What did I hope to be now? What did I see then in my now? And still there are unanswered questions to be solved later - not now and never back then.

Can't Sleep Again.

Tossed and turned.
Flipped between Track and Field Olympics and Rushmore.
Registered at www.paperbackswap.com for fun.
Pain's endurable when I pee.
Stitches aren't bothering me.
Hands almost back to normal - still aches.
How many percocet is too many?
Can't focus on my book.
Stuck on a few scripts... need to see one through.
Wish first day of the NFL season would hurry up and get here.

I Was Attacked By A Bad IV!

My IV infiltrated my arm during the night. I was uncomfortable, and alerted the nurse bu by the time she removed the tube, the following morning, my left hand and wrist had swelled to twice the normal size. My hand looked like it was about to burst. It was most uncomfortable, and apparently easily avoided if your nurse does her job. Now I'm home from my hospital stay, the swelling is almost gone, and the kidney surgery appears to have gone well.

Olympic Thoughts

• Beach Volleyball is just fun to watch. Kerri Russel and Misty May-Trainer are phenomenal, in a 'sweaty chicks in bikinis' type of way!
• Michael Phelps is pretty amazing even with my life long distaste for the sport of competitive swimming.
• Synchronized diving has to be so much more difficult than sitting on the couch and saying, "Ooh, they made to big s splash. That's gonna hurt them."
  
• The US Men's Gymnastics Team, after almost choking up their medal position on the pommel horse, came back and walked a way with the Bronze Medal and then showed the world how Gangsta men in leotards and stirrup-pants could be. "Team USA, baby! That's what I'm taking about! Let's get It! That's How We Roll!"
  

My First Bowie BaySox Game!

Bowie BaySox 6 - New Britain Rock Cats 4

My parents took us to a BaySox game. My first minor league game ever. It was too much fun. Thanks Ma & Pa. I appreciate it.

I got my first foul ball at a baseball game. My brother would tell you I stole it from a 10 year old but the ball rolled into my hand. He doesn't know, besides, he was too busy...
...being SEXY!



The highlight of the game came when a teenager in front of us pierced both of his cheeks with safety pins. My mother was aghast. I turned to her and said, "I may have been obnoxious back then but I wasnever an idiot!"

Beijing - DAY 1

I realize that the post below may come across a little anti-Olympics. On the contrary, I love the Olympics! Nations of the world unite to compete in friendly contests of athleticism, and display their patriotism for everyone to see.

I admit that I was overwhelmed by the scope of the pageantry of the Opening Ceremony. It was incredible - and long. I have decided though that from henceforth I will try to be as positive and supportive of 2008 Summer Games.

So far the USA has already won a Gold, Silver & Bronze medal in Women's Fencing and there's only been 1 fatal stabbing of a US citizen; by a Chinese man who then threw himself out the window to his own death. One day into the Olympics and 2 men are dead (The attacker and the relative of the volleyball coach.), and 2 men are wounded (The Chinese translator and the other American citizen; both stabbed in the attack.).

Ladies & Gentlemen... The World In Which We Live!

JUST LIGHT THE FRIGGIN' TORCH ALREADY!

I'm tired. My dog's pacing cause she has to go out. I've read two graphic novels, and the opening ceremony is still going on.

At the end I heard a anchorman say something like, "An opening ceremony that defies all superlatives."

I'm not sure if these qualify but I'll try...

Most Amazing!

Longest Ever!

MOST AMAZING LONGEST EVER! (Does that count?)

Sure some of the visuals were amazing. The pyrotechnics were awesome. The kids were cute. The drummers rocked! The gymnast, acrobats and high-flyers were inspiring.

Then came the Parade of Nations. I always love it. Athletes from over 200 nations march in - this time it wasn't alphabetically cause of the Chinese Language - and wave their flag, shoot video, and make cell phone calls to relatives back home. I would've enjoyed it more if it hadn't been brought to my attention that something like 84 of those countries have never medaled in the Olympics. The team from those countries would march into the arena and the announcer would say something stupid like, "This is their Olympic event right here. This is the highlight of their Olympic experience just marching in the Parade."

Jack Ass!

Oh, and then when it was FINALLY time to light the Olympic Cauldron8 Chinese Athletes helped carry the torch through the arena. 8 different Athletes! The country of Niger, I believe, has only 1 athlete competing in these Olympic Games but it took 8 athletes from China to light the Cauldron once the torch was in the building! Not to mention the last guy, Li Ning! Boy was that cool to watch! He gets the flame lifts into the air on wires and the creeeeeeeeeeps around the entire length of the stadium awning before lighting the Cauldron. It took forever! He's supended in the air moving his legs so it looks like he's running sideways and, apparently, he outran the visual projections cause I swear they slowed him down at one point. I was ready to stroke out just waiting for him to go ahead at light the damn thing!

The Opening Ceremony was soooo long that I almost forgot about the atrocities committed by the Chinese government against the people of Tibet, and the whole religious intolerance thing they got going on over there.

In case you weren't paying attention, the 2008 Olympic Summer Games in Beijing have begun, and after 5 hours of programing the Olympic Cauldron was finally lit.

Let the games begin.

Poor Guy!

That's gotta suck, being replaced by that fossil. Hope you land on your feet, buddy. I'll look for you in my Fantasy Draft.

And Done...

One of my 'goals' for this Summer, when I am only working part time, was to read the Incarnations of Immortality Series by Piers Anthony. I have enjoyed his fiction since I was younger, and decided to read the original seven books in the series straight through, author's notes and all. The series which I have mentioned before is an entertaining science fiction/fantasy story wherein Death, Time, Fate, War, Nature, Evil, and Good are Offices which must be filled with qualified Mortals who perform the job, temporarily, as best they are able in order to help organize the Chaos that birthed our Universe. 2,435 pages later, I read the author's notes too, I am done.

Some books I sailed through, and others I took a little longer getting through the chapters. Some books I loved, while others were good but missing something. I did enjoy the world Piers Anthony created and revisiting key events through the different perspectives of the characters in each book. For example, the first book sets up the importance of this one character who several years into the future will play a key role in defeating Satan's plans for the world. This character and her importance are evident in each volume as different strategies are employed nullify her role. At times it was like reading about historical events through differing and often times contrasting perspectives. The portrayal of the Incarnations was fascinating especially that of the the man who became Satan, and the self-absorbed God who was too busy with self-contemplation to relate to the humans who prayed for his guidance.

Doesn't quite sound like the enjoyable Summer read that it actually was, I know, but I enjoyed it.

946 Miles Later

We're back. The Pinney Reunion 2008 was a blast.

On Friday Sara and I packed up the car, grabbed the Tootsie and hit the road around sun up. Annapolis to South Woodstock, Vermont isn't the longest road trip ever but we were on a mission. We'd been looking forward to this trip since we missed the last reunion 2 years ago. My mother's distant cousin owns a Bed & Breakfast in Vermont and for one weekend every other year my grandmother's extended family descends on South Woodstock and takes over the Hyacinth House.

We spend the weekend hanging out with distant cousins, drinking local beers, shopping in town and playing a wiffleball game or two. This year was no different. The weather cooperated for the most part, and it only rained Saturday night but we didn't mind.

It's funny how the reunion has changed over the last 16 years or so. Babies grow into young kids. Young kids grow into teenagers or young adults. Singles into married couples and married couples into families. The old people get older and sit and watch from afar. Some faces don't even show up anymore.

Ah, C'est La Vie! Time marches on and we are replaced by younger, cuter party animals like Savannah here.
- The road trip was memorable only because of the $ we threw into Sara's car so it could make the drive, the defunct AC - we didn't have that much moolah - the blown radio fuse, and the 4 traffic jams we were blessed with on our return leg. I don't mind the driving, we fixed the radio, and Tootsie is an excellent traveler. (She's now traveled through 12 states on various road trips.)

My Speech Group Today.

"Okay, does anyone else know any songs that we can all sing in our Number 2/Inside Voice?"

The little boy with the glasses and big eyes looks up with a very earnest reply, "We could sing GOD IS BIGGER THAN THE BOGEYMAN."

The only two pairs of adult eyes meet. Eyebrows arch. Smiles creep out to be seen.

"I love your idea but we should probably pick a song everyone will know like Row Row Row Your Boat. What do you think?"

"Yeah, I like that one, too."

The G Is Silent

He was just a really cool guy. He would sit there, backstage or in the dressing room, quietly strumming the strings and going over songs in his head. He was easy to talk to, and once I asked him how he got his nickname. "Was it because your fingers are so fast on the banjo?"

"No," he explained, "When I was little I was a kinda slow, and my daddy would always say to me, 'C'mon Lightnin'!'"

"That's how you got your nickname?"

"Yessir, I was slow."

- Today I was reading a friend's blog and he mentioned a blues musician he loved, and how he used to see the guy play parties in his hometown. The guy, Lightning Boy Steve Malcolm, most recently played with Jimmy Buffett. I love Blues Musicians and there names. (Ralph Macchio's character in Crossroads was also called Lightning Boy!) Anyway it made me think of a man I met when I was in school down in North Carolina. He was a musician brought in to accompany, and perform in a play we were doing at the time - Dark Of The Moon. It was a crazy show; witches, hillbillies, and lots of music including hymns, spitrituals, etc. This guy - his name was Mike Lightnin' Wells - was a great character, friendly, and, if I remember correctly, knew my dad's family. I like him so much that I named a character in my first play after him in tribute to the above conversation.

I googled him and found his website. Looks like he's doing well these days.

As Big As My Foot!

Or close to, anyway.

Here is a picture of a stinging sea nettle jellyfish. They inhabit the Atlantic Ocean and connecting estuaries. The Severn River does get the jellyfish during the Summer, and I have seen a few floating around down at the beach. Today I went out kayaking today and saw the biggest jellyfish I've ever seen outside of the National Aquarium. I was paddling around and I noticed a few odd nettles floating near the surface. Suddenly I see the huge one just drifting with the current towards my kayak. This sucker is so big that, and yes I realize how insanely ludicrous this sounds, I got the chills and actually thought, "I hope that thing can't get me."

Silly, I know but I thought it. Then I turned my kayak around and paddled my ass out of there as fast as I could leaving that monstrosity bobbing in my wake.

2,920 Days (more or less)

For 8 years I lived without a car. I didn't need one. We rode the CTA wherever we wanted to go or we could rent a car for long trips. 8 years without the convenience of a car. 8 years without the cost of maintaining and fueling a car. Now we have two cars. Two gas-tanks to fill. Two vehicles to keep running and pouring money into... What a headache!

For two years now I have lived with a car and dreamt about public transportation.

Sex Is The Word!

I realized today that I have never seen the movie Grease unedited. When I was a kid we had it taped off of public television and I would pop in the VCR tape quite frequently. Needless to say the censors chopped it all up, and even cut out the entire Greased Lightning sequence.

In high school when I performed in a production of the show I noticed a few of the differences between the stage play and the screenplay. I had a better grasp of the adult humor and sexual references but we were still teenagers so they edited for content, as well - we weren't aloud to say, "Pussy Wagon". Too Bad.

Today I got out of bed, for the second time, and switched on the tube. There was the opening sequence to the movie so I sat down, as a 33 year old man, and watched the entire movie. (Okay, I took a bathroom break during Beauty School Dropout.) I was pleasantly shocked by all of the blatant sexual references. I was amazed at all of the TBirds' crude gestures and comments. I smiled when Danny Zuko called Rizzo 'sloppy seconds'. I laughed out loud when Kenickie discovers the condom he bought in seventh grade will no longer do the trick. I guess even teenagers back in the 50's had sex.

If you'd have asked me that question when I was a kid I would have foolishly said, "No Way. Everyone at Rydell High is a virgin and Rizzo immaculately conceived." Thank You Very Much Censors!

Easy Activity

Or so I thought.

The class is studying local Native American tribes for their Summer School unit. The Nanticoke is a tribe that once existed on and around the Cheseapeake Bay, and they traveled, sometime, by canoe. So I thought that we could pretend to take a little canoe trip in class using our imagination.

Simple.

The next ten minutes are spent discussing every manner of boat you can paddle from ancient greek longboats to paddle-boats. The paddling procedure was also examined; two oars at the same time, alternating sides, one oar one side, etc.

Needless to say the class period ended and we were all still stuck on the shore, in our 'canoes' arguing over semantics.

WTF?

I don't know... sounds fishy!

Seasons Greetings!

A Birthday/Xmas In July Pub Crawl through Annapolis! Good fun with friends we don't see enough. New faces, and acquaintances to laugh with at the merriment and carols. Yes, they sang carols at and between bars; an adapted 12 Days of Xmas.

Despite my love of the yule time tonight I was a Grinch - I partied but would not make merry - and a designated driver.

Then My Wife Says To Me,

"It's totally your type of movie."

Dark. Doomsday Scenario. Science Fiction. Psychological Thriller.

I'd seen it when it came out months before. I was totally engrossed. I bought into the world it created, and couldn't wait to see it again. So I finally rented it.


My wife is right. I guess you could say I have a Sunny Disposition.

Someone Sent this To Me.

It's all over the internet. If you haven't seen it watch the whole thing. I thought it was pretty cool. I like what it says.

Trying To Get Active.

So yesterday after sitting in the movie theater for a Sunday afternoon matinée I decided I would try and take advantage of my neighborhood resources and get a little exercise. Among other things my community has a tennis/basketball court, swimming beach and kayaks. I like to kayak... every now and again...

So Adam and I went kayaking on the Severn River yesterday afternoon. Two couch potatoes, no offense Adam, paddling around the river. My first kayak seemed to be taking on water, so I beached it and got another one that sat higher in the water. (They're all open ocean kayaks) We didn't make any great trek down the river or shoot the rapids or anything. Just a leisurely paddle in the afternoon.

I plan on doing this more often during my free days. I've also been trying to take longer walks with the Tooter to get a little exercise. Can't sit on my butt all day every day. Although I have, so far this Summer gotten through the first 4 books of the fantasy series I mentioned. I'm reading novel and author's notes on the novel. The latest book did not disappoint. Today when I get home from babysitting maybe I will start on the 5th book.

Or maybe I'll go kayaking.

Made me giggle.

Get your Yo Mama widget at hostdrjack.com

My three favorite are:

1. She eats Wheat Thicks!
2. She Jumped for joy and got stuck!
   
3. Her butt looks like two pigs fighting over Milkduds!

Boob Tube

One of the perks about having this time off lately is that I have managed to catch some films on cable, or dvd that I haven't seen in years, or missed when they were in the theaters. More than one morning has passed when I get up, make a cup of coffee with every intention of working on a script or reading a book but then the remote control calls me. I switch on the Boob Tube to see what's playing and WHAM! I get sucked into a movie and... can't... look... away!

This morning it was Spike Lee's Do The Right Thing. In general, I don't always like Spike Lee Joints, but there have been exceptions in the past. His films always have a great cast of memorable characters, more often than not, portrayed by exceptional actors. This film included such gems as Mookie, Radio Raheem, Buggin' Out, Da Mayor, and Sweet Dick Willie!So I spent my morning sipping coffee, and bearing witness to great racial conflict all the while craving N.Y style pizza from 'Famous Sal's'!

Radio Raheem says, "FIGHT THE POWER!"

I Think I'm Starting To Miss The Kids.

I'm dreaming about them.

I just woke up from a dream in which I had to send a note home to student's parents because of insubordination. I've had other dreams recently, too. Rehearsal dreams. School hallway dreams. I even woke myself up the other night when I dreamed I had been notified of a graduate's death. (Messed Up, huh?) My dreams are also about students from my last school as well. It's all a jumble of familiar faces.

It's been about 3 weeks since school got out and I've had a lot of time to kill. Have I been the most productive? No. But I've tried. I have worked on some writing, tidied up little sections of the house, seen a few movies, and walked Tootsie a lot. I'm also on Book 3 of the Incarnations Of Immortality series I debated getting into this Summer.

Today is the first day of Summer School (ESY), and I go in tomorrow for my Tues & Thurs schedule. I'm not looking forward to the commute, but apparently I'm looking forward to getting back to work.

Happy 4th Of July!!

We're just relaxing. Hope you are doing well.
Sit back. Listen. Watch.
(The original post was changed after the firework effect was corrupted somehow. Feel free to adjust volume on either the music or video, which does not automatically loop.)

Missed My Commute SO Much!

First day of Summer School Orientation was yesterday. So I got up and casually made the drive to Rockville from Annapolis. I was late. I forgot about all of those drivers who never learned how to merge, and those people who shouldn't have a license just because they're idiots.



I wasn't majorly late. Just annoyingly so.

My wife has actually commented on how calm I am in traffic. I admit that I can have a very short fuse with certain things: for example: technology, losing my checkbook, family, the price of gasoline and Oprah Winfrey. Traffic, while it does get to me, doesn't enrage me because I'm powerless to change it. If I'm sitting in my car and all I can see for the next five exits are brake lights I'm not going to hulk out, lay on the horn, curse your mother, and start flipping the bird to every inept motorist I see. That would be silly. Instead, I quietly sit in my car, surfing Sirius channels, going over lesson plans in my head, and imagining what the world would be like if I had access to a nuclear arsenal.

We're overcrowded! We''re wasteful! We're violent! We're self-absorbed and we DESPERATELY NEED TO CHIT-CHAT ON OUR CELL PHONES IN BUMPER TO BUMPER TRAFFIC!!!!!!

I'd hate to think what might happen if I had my finger on the button.

These Things Always Happen in 3s!

I just read my cousin's blog and found out that George Carlin, the great Comedian, died at age of 71.
That foul-mouthed comedic genius, whom my little brother only knows as Rufus from the 'Bill & Ted' movies, has gone on to the stand up club in the sky.

Who will be next? Celebrity deaths don't just happen randomly to one. Regrettably, 2 more must pass.

Any thoughts on whom?

Can't Sleep.

Sara went to bed and I stayed up to watch Game 6 of the NBA Finals. I was flipping back and forth between the Celtics VS the Lakers, and Italy VS France in the Euro 2008 Soccer Tournament. Then I turned off all the lights, crawled into bed with my wife and dog, and proceeded to toss and turn for close to an hour.

Now, I'm up.

What to do? What to do?

I've already worked on a script I'm trying to submit in the next week, and read through another full length play I may submit soon, as well. I chipped away at another script that I've been developing for sometime.

I don't feel like watching TV.

I could thumb through old comic books, or flip through a few newer ones. Just finished a book yesterday and I'm not sure I'm ready to commit to a new one. Although, just for fun, I've been toying with the idea of starting in on Piers Anthony's Incarnations of Immortality Series, in which Death, Time, Fate, War, and Nature are all full time jobs which are occasionally passed down to deserving mortals, and reading it from start to finish but just found out that an eight book has been added to the series. 8 books in a row. I'm not sure I'm ready for that.

We'll see what tomorrow brings.

As for the post below - I did mean my 'moms', whom I knew would comment. Brigette, my latest stage manager and newest reader has also responded. I did not expect, and rightly so, comments from my best friend, his mom, or my brother, whom I know read the blog often. Sara need not comment if she doesn't want to but it's a safe bet she checks it out from time to time. So, I have my list of readers clearly pictured in mind as I continue on with my rantings.

Back In The Day...

... If I'd have blogged about about a little Chinese boy in with a penis growing outta his back I would have been flooded with comments. The friends, family, and other people unfortunate enough to stumble upon my blog would've let me know what they thought about Chang Tu Dongs!

These days I am unsure of my readers. Besides my moms, wife, best friend and brother I do not know who regularly checks in to see what I have to say. So selfishly, I must request that we have a sound off. I would like to know who is reading my babble.

If you would like to chime in on Chang... please do so.

Also, I've grown to love Ice T in his role on Law & Order: SVU and if you agree/disagree please let me know. Just post a comment for me either way.

I'm just curious.

I won't shut down my blog if no one responds, but my vanity would like to be reassured that people, besides my mother, are interested.

Thank you!

Lucky Kid!

Um, I mean... Lucky Kid?

I don't know how this makes me feel. It's a condition, which means that it does sometimes happen...

Wow!

Hello Old Friend...

Today, while the rest of the state sweated it out in the grips of a heatwave I was transported to a little town on the banks of a great river to visit some friends I remember from my childhood.

I was pleasantly surprised this afternoon as I was channel surfing to find the the 1973 classic film Tom Sawyer was showing. I used to watch this movie all the time when I was little, and I can't believe how excited I got when the opening credits started to roll. I was sucked right in. I remembered the music, the characters, Jodie Foster, and I still got a chill every time Injun Joe came on the screen.

It's funny how a little thing can make your day.

Is Earth Day Considered A Holiday?

It better be because this past Saturday I, once again, teamed up with my buddy Dean to work on a short film, this time for the Baltimore 48 Hour Film Festival. The randomly selected genre was a Holiday Film, and Dean had an idea which revolved around the environment, and a wasteful person who needs to be taught a lesson on Earth Day. So we braved the scorching heat, the dehydration, and possible sunburn to film this past Saturday.

It was a blast - HOT as all HELL but fun! Hopefully he'll be able to edit out all of my sweat stains in post-production. The coolest sequence to film was the driving scene, in which I tooled around the neighborhood in a borrowed Mercedes convertible. The footage looked great and you couldn't tell that my swamp ass was destroying the leather seats!

The screening is next week and while we're not eligible for judging due to a missed deadline - accidents happen - I am excited to see it up on the big screen.

The Latest

To the right you have the Kidney #1. Over the last ten years Kidney # 1 has caused me much grief. I was diagnosed with my condition after a bubble gum ball-sized stone was blocking the ureter. 2 years later I had 5 robin egg-sized stones cut out of that kidney. (The original stone was broken into 5 separate stones thanks to the wonders of lithotripsy.) This past January another stone sent me to the ER and a lithotripsy cleaned out the offending stone.

To the left you have Kidney # 2. My supposedly healthy and unaffected kidney... until this last episode when the urologist noticed a monstrous stone high in the organ. Since then we've made plans to remove the stone but my urologist has discovered that Kidney #2 is not functioning fully. A Mag 3 test was ordered for late May to gage the effectiveness of my twin organs. ( See Post For May 28th )

The Results:

Kidney #1 is carrying 94% of the workload for my renal system.

Kidney #2 clocks in at only 6%.

The doctors said anything below 15% is basically a dead organ. Stay Tuned...

To Follow Up On The Church Theme...

Today I went to church out of spite...

... and if there is a God he/she has a horrible sense of humor, because it was the longest church service in my memory.

Last night as Sara and I arrived home from a night at the local Greek Fest we bumped into my old youth leader coming out of our landlords apartment, they're friends, and she made a comment to me about church in the morning followed up with a sarcastic, 'Oh, that's right, it's not Easter." Out of spite I decided I was going to go to church. (Is it worse to not go or to go out of spite?) Anyway, it was a special service celebrating the women of the church - or something - and before you know it I'm zoning out in the pew wishing I wasn't such a spiteful person.

Serves me right.

MAG 3

My doctor doesn't believe that my left kidney is fully functional. He's not sure at what capacity my kidney is operating and so he ordered a MAG 3 Test. After missing my veins twice, in two different spots, an IV is finally inserted into my arm, I am pumped full of a Nuclear Isotope, and then I lie on the machine for 30 minutes as the isotope is filtered through my kidneys, and eventually pools into my bladder. I could see the display of the machine. I was able to track the progress of the isotope through my kidneys and into my bladder. Even to my untrained eye it was obvious that the right kidney, which shown brighter, was filtering more of the formula than my left, which at times was almost invisible on the screen. As more of the isotope wound up in my bladder it started to show brighter against the dark background, but the left kidney was only a dull presence on the screen, as I was soothed by the sounds of Lite 101.9FM oozing over the sound system. I wondered at the potential results of the test as Bryan Adams serenaded me with 'Everything I Do'.

There's always mixed emotions at the end of show's run. On the one hand you're glad to have your nights back; on the other you're sad about the experience ending. You've gotten to know everyone else, there was something comforting about the routine, and, hopefully, you've enjoyed your time in the production. When the show ends you walk away from all of that and toss a few flyers, programs and souvenirs into your pile of 'show stuff'. Every now and then you'll sort through the pile and you'll remember each show, which roles you liked and didn't like, and the castmates you promised to keep in touch with and haven't.

I am grateful that I was able to be a part of such a great show, meet some fabulous people, and store up a few more funny theatre tales. (All actors have funny theatre tales they exchange backstage, or afterwards at the bar. These entertaining bits about on stage pranks, audience flatulence, directors, actors, etc, are bandied about during each and every production.) I will look forward to the next show.

Damn You Spielberg! Damn You Lucas!

(* May contain a tiny spoiler.)

Just saw the latest Indiana Jones movie. Maybe my expectations were too high...

Without ruining the movie for anyone who has not seen it I will just say that just because we have the technology to do amazing special effects with CGI does not mean that we should ruin movies with it. I hate when movies have completely superfluous effects 'just because'. (EX: King Kong - There's a dinosaur stampede scene that lasts for an eternity 'just because'.) Some of the CGI in this movie was necessary I guess, but Shia LeBouf swinging through the jungle with a pack of wild monkeys 'just because' was BEYOND RIDICULOUS!

I'm not sure what Spielberg and Lucas were hoping for when they decided to bring back Indiana Jones but I sure they didn't envision audience members groaning in there seats. I groaned at least 5 times during this movie, granted, not as many groans as Temple of Doom, which has a campy appeal, but five times too many for me.

Thanks Andrew Zimmern!

It's no secret I've been a little stressed out lately.

This job, which I love, has decided to ambush me at the end of the school year. I'm running around like a headless chicken, doused in 101 Proof grain alcohol and set ablaze. I'm scrambling around trying to make sure certain things happen before the end of the year, and each time I get close to evening out something else is thrown on my plate! Today was not a good day!

When I finally left work, fought the traffic home and dragged myself through my front door I was at the end of my rope. Luckily, there was my wife... with pizza... and beer... and the Travel Channel was showing Bizarre Foods w/ Andrew Zimmern.

I LOVE THIS SHOW! The guy travels all around the world to sample exotic cuisine. You name it; bugs, brains, putrid shark, he'll try it! The man's had more testicles in his mouth than the cast of Will & Grace! Tonight he was in Ecuador! He ate roasted guinea pigs, suffered through a purification ceremony with a witch doctor and then chowed on a few piranhas!

I don't know why I it's true but sitting down on my couch and watching this pudgy, bald dude slurp down pan-fried Coconut Grubs makes my blood pressure wane and my troubles melt away, for an hour at least.

I Smell A Rat

Take a second and read the post below... Go ahead, I'll wait.

Finished? Okay... let's continue.

I suspect sabotage. I have a class that has been working on a musical to perform at the end of May, and as I've said before I realize that May is a busy time of year for teachers, but I expect a little support in my endeavors. There is a teacher who, recently, has intentionally scheduled field trips for days when he knows the show is rehearsing. Several of his students have substantial roles in the show. I even sent out an email asking for teachers to be courteous and try not to miss rehearsals. This Friday was to be our last rehearsal before the performance; what does the teacher do? They have a field trip. The last scheduled rehearsal and he's taking his students away from class for a field trip.

Maybe I'm making to much of it. Maybe... I don't think so. I have spoken to his classroom staff (they actually attend my class with the students)and each of them has told me that they fought for the rehearsal; they made sure he knew that it was important. It didn't matter. I've also been told by several sources, including my predecessor, that this particular teacher wants my job. I knew before I came to this school that he wanted the job. It's been obvious all year that he thinks he should have the job, and thinks he'd be better qualified. He's even remarked to others that I only got the position because I knew the person who previously had my job.

So the performance is scheduled for next week. The show is not ready. It just isn't. The end of the year has come too quickly. It will have to be a staged reading. The students will have to be prompted. The blocking is minimal and I'm not quite sure how well it will go.

I'm not blaming it all on this particular teacher. It's not his fault alone. Many things have interfered with the production of this show, he just happens to be one of the obstacles. The responsibilty will ultimately be mine.

I have to remind myself that it's a school performance, that it won't be perfect, and next year I will know better.

22 Days Left...

The end of the school year is fast approaching. In that time I have to schedule, and stage 6 school productions of varying sizes, have the chorus perform at graduation, film one last broadcast for class, figure out how to edit together some footage for another class, not to mention rehearse all of the above tasks, which is no easy task with teachers going on Field Trips left and right, students missing class for special events, and everyone else just coasting towards the finish line.

I think I'm busier now than I've been all year.

On top of that I have a Cat Scan Schedule for tomorrow, a follow up appointment next week, and surgery tentatively schedule for the end of June, and two more weekends of performances for Hauptmann.

I may be busier now than I've ever been!

Cinco De Mayo

Pretty low key celebration this year. A few cervezas, I made Taco Salad, and the 7th Voyage of Sinbad was on the Turner Classic Movie Channel.



Haven't seen the movie in years. I don't think Sara was as impressed with the movie as I was. Ah... nostalgia...

Flip Side

I remember when I was a student the end of the school year could never come fast enough.

Now that I am a teacher the end of the year rockets towards me like a runaway train! So much to do in only a few weeks, and I'm tied to the tracks.

Mirror Mirror On The Wall!

Today I was talking to my older brother, and he asked me about the post below w/the pic. He wondered what exactly I didn't like about the picture. I just don't like it. I don't think it looks like me, granted, I am in costume with my hair slicked down with pomade, and completely unaware that the picture is being taken from a bad angle while I breath through my mouth. It's an unflattering shot, that's all.

In the picture I see a pudgy, balding doofus. In reality, even though I maybe that pudgy, balding doofus, to some extent, my self image still is slightly more attractive and vibrant. My Peter Pan complex is in direct conflict with the picture wherein I look more like Mr. Smee!

Self Image is a funny thing. Vanity is just as comical, I guess.

Another Year Older...

...And the camera has become less kind to me.

This shot was snapped backstage on opening night of my show, as I listened to the director give a pep talk. I think it's an extremely unflattering picture of my baby-faced, receding hair-lined, remember when I was young and thin current self.

The guy who took the picture loves it!

Opening Night

A few jitters, a couple flubbed lines, one or two missed cues, and then the show is over. In darkness we walk to the center of the stage and wait for the lights to rise on our curtain call. Will they clap? Will it be earnest applause or just the polite, rhythmical slapping together of two fleshy hands?

Earnest applause.

So the show didn't go as smoothly as possible... so the audience for opening night was as large as we would have hoped... the fact is that our opening night has come and gone. That hurdle is passed. Now we can just focus on performing the show and hope word of mouth is good. The critic from the Baltimore Sun appeared to have enjoyed it... even introduced herself to the director. We'll see how it goes.

Tech Week Continues...

That's right, Tech Week. Rehearsal after rehearsal. Tweaking! Adjusting! Calling for 'Line'! Running! Rerunning! Calling for 'Line'! Working! Reworking! Hemming! Rehemming! 'Line'!

Tired!

Tomorrow night's Opening Night! The beginning of a 5 week run; Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday performances. John Logan's 'Hauptmann' at the Colonial Players of Annapolis. Stay tuned for the reviews...

Really?

You're reading a book in stop-n-go traffic? You don't see a problem with this? You have a hard enough time talking on your phone while driving, but to read a book behind the wheel? Haven't you ever heard of Books On Tape or CD?

Why Do I Do?

Tonight my cousin's 12 year old daughter called to interview me. Why? She called to interview me because of my theatre background; cuz I'm an 'Actor'.

It's for a class project/paper. She asked 10 questions ranging from my full name to what advice I would give to an up-and-coming actor/actress. Standard interview questions.

The problem is that sometimes I don't just know the answers to the questions. I apologized several time to the polite interviewer, 'I talk a lot sometimes. Did I answer your question?'

Why did I get into theatre? I dunno... probably to get attention. Maybe because I wasn't very athletic...
What's my favorite part about being an actor? I dunno... being introduced to a new story, to new characters with every new show.
What's the worst part? Working three different jobs just so I can do a 'Professional' show for 5 weeks, and then walk away with a depleted bank account, bad reviews, and another character on the Resume.
What's the hardest part about being an actor? Dealing with the rejection; but you have to deal with it or you won't keep at it.

Self-Reflection is always a slippery slope for an actor/actress. Why do we do it?

Standard BS response is, 'To create art,' or 'Cause I can't imagine what else I would possible want to do'.

Probably just should've told her, 'Cause sometimes it's really fun, but sometimes it sucks... the parties can be cool... you'll meet interesting people... applause is very reassuring... I don't know... I talk a lot sometimes. Did I answer your question?'

BLOG BITE!

- A rare occasion, though it does it happen, when something one has recorded in their online blog is read by a person who may misinterpret the post, or may just take offense to said post.

Blog Bite happens occasionally. Once my brother took offense to a comment I made about his telephone habits. (I'll apologize now, since he is one of the handful of my readers. I'm sorry.) I usually try to keep things pretty vague in my writings, specifically, for this reason. I know of only a few family members and close friends who keep up with my posts, so I am always surprised when someone stumbles upon it.

Perfect example - a few weeks ago I wrote about an audition I attended. Without naming names I briefly summarized the events of the evening without a second thought. Then I was cast in the show, and at one of the rehearsals a castmate approached me and quoted my blog to me. The quote was about a dialect/accent that was used (by him) in the audition that I compared to a Muppet's voice. It never occured to me that if this castmate GOOGLED our show my post would appear and he could read my observations of the audition and decipher my purposefully vague critique.

Rehearsals are going well, and this castmate, whom, originally thought his own dialect/accent sounded like a Looney Tunes Martian is, I find, a talented actor. His accent has improved, and luckily he isn't one to hold a grudge because we share a lot of stage time.