Heard The Coolest Song This Morning

I was sitting in traffic, aimlessly switching the radio stations when I came across Kris Kristofferson's Jesus Was a Capricorn.

The lyrics read:

Jesus was a Capricorn, he ate organic foods.

He believed in love and peace and never wore no shoes.

Long hair, beard and sandals and a funky bunch of friends.

Reckon they'd just nail him up if He come down again.

'Cos everybody's got to have somebody to look down on.

Who they can feel better than at anytime they please.
Someone doin' somethin' dirty, decent folks can frown on.

If you can't find nobody else, then help yourself to me.

Get back, John!

Egg Head's cousin Red Neck's cussin' hippies for their hair.

Others laugh at straights who laugh at freaks who laugh at squares.

Some folks hate the whites who hate the blacks who hate the clan.

Most of us hate anything that we don't understand.

'Cos everybody's got to have somebody to look down on.

Who they can feel better than at anytime they please.

Someone doin' somethin' dirty, decent folks can frown on.

If you can't find nobody else, then help yourself to me.

Help yourself, brother.

Help yourself, Gentlemen.

Help yourself Reverend.

The song brought a smile to my face and started it in the right direction. I don't know why I liked it. I'm not religious. I don't usually like country music. I just thought the song was funny, and wanted to share it.

Back To Reality

Our time here in White Bear Lake is almost done. The bags are packed. Our flight is in a few hours and by this time tomorrow we'll be back in the daily grind.

Our little vacation away from the real world was very refreshing. The wedding went off without a hitch. It was a very simple, romantic affair with close friends and family. The reception was a rocking good time. Our entrance and first dance made quite the impression.

We've spent the last two days, our first days, as husband and wife; lounging around our suite, sipping champagne, and dreading check out. By tonight we'll be back in our house, walking the Toot, and preparing for the rest of our lives.

Today's The Day!

Getting married in 8 hours. The family members are in town. The rehearsal dinner is over. Only thing left to do is say I Do.

Actually that's not accurate. There's errands I have to run. I have to press my suit, trim my beard, wash a load of laundry, and pick up cups, and Kegs for the reception.

Then all I'll have to do is say I Do.

It's exciting. The nervousness hasn't hit me yet!

Day 5 - Kearney To White Bear Lake

We got an early start and prepared to head off on our last leg of the trip, 573 miles to go. The weather report had a 30% chance of snow in Lincoln, Omaha, and then Des Moines. There were snow flurries but we were making great time.

About 55 miles outside of Des Moines we hit a full on snow storm. Visibility drops, the road has frozen over, and we start seeing more and more cars winding up in ditches. We average 40 mph until we get around the city and head north to St. Paul. Eventually we drive out of the snowstorm and it's smooth sailing to the Twin Cities.

The drive is over, now there is just the wedding!

Day 4 - Denver To Georgetown To Denver To Kearney

The car was dropped off at the dealership. With several hours to kill, a car is rented and we set off up into the Rockies. I have never been to the Rockies before and even though we were only a few hours from Denver the view was amazing. We stopped by the side of the road, and overlooks and snapped picture after picture of beautiful valleys, and mountains.

We drove through Georgetown, The Silver Queen of The Rockies. It's a little mining town that is nestled in a valley near the Guanella Pass. We drove through the pass, over 11600 feet above sea level. I even climbed up onto a frozen waterfall, and then proceeded to wheeze for the next half hour. It was definitely worth the trip, on a beautiful day.

We got back to Denver as the cold front was moving in, we picked up the car and drove off into Nebraska with the adverse weather behind us. We stopped for the night in Kearney.

Day 3 - Wichita to Denver

Left Wichita and made it to Dodge City. $7 dollars to walk down the historic street and see exhibits, most of which were closed for the season. We spent a few minutes at Boot Hill before getting back on the road.

Greensburg, Kansas, 95% destroyed when a mile and a half wide tornado (EF5) with winds of over 200 mph swept through the town in May of 2007. All that's left are bare trees, a temporary hospital and houses being built up from scratch. It was like something from another planet.

Around Pueblo, Colorado, the left front wheels little noise has grown into an unmistakable problem. Adam thinks the wheel bearings are going - possible ,worst case scenario effects of this include trouble steering or loss of the wheel. That won't do. We decide to stop overnight in Denver and wait to see if the car is easily, and cheaply fixed. So that's where we are... hours short of today's goal of Cheyenne, Wyoming... waiting.

Day 2: Paducah to Wichita (Delayed)

Left Kentucky early heading west into Missouri. There was a little incident involving a state tropper around Mountain Grove... might've been worse. The car rolled into Joplin, Mo a few hours later than expected, and the boys visited with some friends briefly before hitting the road once again.

Missouri turns into Kansas -who could tell. We decide to spend the night in Wichita; a few hours short of our goal of Dodge City. We'll start fresh the next day and make up the time we've lost.

* I Couldn't find an internet connection yesterday so I missed an update.

Day 1- Annapolis to Paducah

Left Maryland heading west, through West Virgina into and across most of Kentucky to the town called Paducah. Oh, but are the boys satisfied there... After 15 hours or so on the road do the boys call it a night?

NO!

They cross the river, go into the Land of Lincoln, storm the streets of Metropolis, see the Superman Statue and loose a few bucks at the casino before returning to their hotel room and getting some much needed sleep.

Today we drove over 8oo miles. Tomorrow we hope to, by way of Joplin and the Pecks, make it to Dodge City! Stay Tuned!

One Week & Counting!

The Wedding is in one week. I realized I haven't written about the Wedding yet. It seemed like it was so far off that I could write about it at a later date. Now I just don't know what to write.

I hope everyone will have a good time. I'm disappointed some friends cannot make it but understand. I am excited to get the two families together. I'm excited for Sunday morning; waking up with my wife, and a teeny tiny hangover.

I just dropped the dog off at a friends house. She isn't making the trip to White Bear Lake, MN. Dropping her off was the last thing I have to do before town... besides finishing packing. It really hit me when I left Tootsie behind. I'm leaving to get married.

Yesterday I dropped Sara off at the airport. I still had time. Now I'm getting down to the wire.

Tomorrow morning at the butt crack of dawn Adam, my best man, and I are hitting the road. Since he's not a flyer (Puss) we decided to drive to Minnesota by way of the Bad Lands! That's right! We're taking a road trip! My last hurrah! Hitting the road with my best friend! Seeing the country!

It's going to be just like SIDEWAYS! (Except for the vineyards, the drinking, the sex, and the broken nose... Actually, it'll probably be more like Cannonball Run... only a little cooler... not much, but a little.)

Thank You, Mr. Klazer!

Today I subbed in the one class I did not want to sub in today... or any other day. I've written about them before. Some are very intelligent. Some are creative. All of them are a handful. They're disrespectful, disruptive, smart enough to find loop holes, and lazy enough to need those loop holes.

I've had a hard time getting them to participate in my drama class, and have had to readjust my schedule for their many disruptions, inappropriate comments, and fits of anger. Sometimes it is the longest 30 minutes of my week.

Today I was with them all day. There's a new head teacher (last one quit), and a new staff to make up for the two missing assistants (also quit). The exhaustion always shows in the faces of the classroom staff... before they quit. So there I was all day long.

Time stood still.

The one cool part of today was when I took over the Science Experiment. The new teacher, a completely capable and responsible person, was intimidated by the lesson, and was having a hard time grasping everything. She asked me to help, and before I knew it I had bailed on the botched experiment, started afresh and led most of the class through a fairly simple experiment on sugars and starches.

I made sure the students were safe during the experiment, did not cross-contaminate our samples and kept them engaged (for the most part). The teacher couldn't have been happier. She's asked me if I would be free to help out with Science every week.

My Senior Year of High School I was Mr. Klazer's lab sssistant for a chemistry class. He didn't always have lots of tasks for me, and even let me ditch sometimes to go rehearse my lines but he did use me during the experiments. I would set up, assist him, guide the groups, and help clean up afterwards. I have to credit him with today's small victory.

My older brother, a Science Teacher, will be so proud.

Pretentious?

Friday I attended a conference up in Baltimore. Non-public special educators came from all over the state to take part in the days seminars.

My 1st session was on teaching social skills. The material was pretty common sense but the speaker was very entertaining.

My 2nd session was on teaching poetry to special students. The guest speaker gave us several exercises, all of which dealt with writing about ourselves as a metaphor. Then she asked us to share our work. My coworker thought I should read mine but I quickly became aware of the skyrocketing pretension being exhibited in the room.

The poem was called an 'I Am' poem. You compare yourself to colors, animals, feelings, weather, etc. People soon became enamored of their own creativity, and the vanity of the poems became so overwhelming.

"I am the daughter of mother earth..."
"I am an eagle; proud and fierce."
"I am an original; never before seen."
"I am amazing..."
"I am a god..."

I didn't read mine. I don't think it was quite as pretentious as some of the others but I just didn't feel like shairing then.

I am the bastard son of ambition and sloth;

torn between embattled parents.

I am the promise of rain in the desert sky;

waiting.

I am the color of rust;

deep and burnt.

I am the smell of a familiar room you never wanted to leave.

I am the texture of worn sand paper;

not as abrasive as in my youth.

I am a camel;

plodding along with untapped reserves.

I am the taste of cinnamon;

a sharp bite followed by a lingering warmth.

I am grey;

the belly of a storm - the strength of steel.

I am the dream you forget upon waking and search for all through your day.

* A bit pompous I am sure.

I Realize I'm Dreaming...

... at the point when I get completely overwhelmed. It's always the same kind of dream. I'm waiting tables. The restaurant is a hybrid of every place I've ever served at; familiar faces, routine, geography, nightly specials.

I'm back on the floor. I place an order and nothing goes right. The drinks are wrong! The food is burned! Someone knocks over my tray! I can't get my order from the kitchen. The customer is upset! The manager blames me! I suddenly feel completely out of control, and then somewhere in the back of my brain I realize, 'This is dream. This isn't real.'

I just never got that worked up at those jobs. Don't get me wrong. There were stressful shifts, when nothing seemed to go right but there was always a point where I could let go and decompress. I would reach a plateau, regroup and turn things around. In these dreams, I am completely unable to cope with anything. I'm drowning in my own anxiety. That's not me.

I also dreamed that I was standing in line, as requested by my sister-in-law, to buy a gift for my niece. It apparently was a hot item and tensions ran high in the line and people were not being very cordial. Then the line fell apart and it becomes clear to me that I was mistaken. The people aren't waiting to buy a toy for their children they are here for an extremely competive, and high-stakes auction. Something very valuable is going up on the block. Then the person next to me starts an argument, and then their auction paddle is suddenly transformed, under their mental control, into two sai type of ninja weapons. I fend off the attack as best I can with my flimsy auction paddle. I am in a hopeless confrontation. Suddenly, one of my students, the creative one, instructs me on how to transform my paddle into a broad sword. Suddenly the sword starts buzzing and I feel the power in it when I realize that the buzzing is actually the vibrating alarm on my phone.

I open my eyes.