Ahh, Life...

Sometimes you just get in the way, don'tcha?  Here we are in late December, just a few days before Christmas

Time marches on, as I've said before.  We've now been in Minnesota for almost a  year and a half, and those last 5 months we've been in our 1st house.  Work continues - Sara with a local school district and I at a 'national chain of neighborhood grocery stores' - but that's not news.
Granddaddy, my father, came for a short visit in early October and we had fun having him stay with us and then dragging him around everywhere.  He saw the girls' dance class, came to Evie Sue's preschool for drop off and pick up, visited the princess café with us and we took him out for a birthday lunch in Stillwater after playing at Teddy Bear Park.

He observed that Minnesota seemed to be filled with pregnant ladies. I told him it was probably just the circles that Sara and I travel in with our small children naturally has a lot of mothers to be included.

Evie Sue loves her preschool program at the neighborhood nature center.  After class she always wants to stay and climb rocks, run through the fields, and play with her multitude of friends.  Other parents tell me how friendly she is and how their child just adores her.  A recent parent teacher conference confirmed that our eldest daughter is pretty cool.  Her teachers love her and described her as 'fearless, and flexible'.

Ronen P is still not sleeping through the night, and/or rising before the sun on nights she sleeps longer.  She's is quick to anger, often throwing tantrums, as kids her age are want to do, and she occasionally bites others when pissed off.  On the flip side, she's incredibly sweet and loving at times, has a growing vocabulary, silly sense of humor, and mimics her older sister constantly.  This kid keeps us guessing.

The house is good and there are times we are incredibly grateful to have such a comfortable home.  Sometimes it is not as orderly, and quiet as we might like but there are moments when Sara or myself will just realize, all over again, that this is our house and we love it.  The yard has been mowed, a rake purchased and a snowblower obtained for use this winter, and holiday decorations have gone up for Halloween, Thanksgiving and now the Christmas Holiday.  The decorations, specifically the exterior, will grow I'm sure as the years go on we gather more and more paraphernalia.

Speaking of Holidays, we missed a few since last I wrote.  I am pleased to say that Evie Sue opted for a non Disney Princess costume this year, and I couldn't of been more excited for our family Halloween costume.  If you didn't know already or even if you did, I still geek out about how fun our idea was,  the Cobbs dressed up as Twisted Sister for this Halloween. 

Yup, Evie Sue was introduced to the joys of Dee Snider and Twisted Sister videos on youtube this last year and it wasn't too hard to nudge her in the direction of dressing up as the lead singer for trick or treating.  The rest of us also dressed up as band members but, let's be honest, no one really remembers the other guys.  It's all about Dee Snider's signature look.  I think Evie did pretty awesome.

Thanksgiving was a small, intimate affair in our new home this year with Grandma and Grandpa Patsy joining us for dinner.  It's the 1st time we've ever hosted, and the 1st time we've been in charge of the turkey.  In years past we'd arrive with pies, and or side dishes but without Reb to smoke the turkey Sara and I were responsible for the whole meal.  Turns out neither one of us had cooked a whole turkey before but we did it with the help of Grandma's roaster.  The Cobb's got up, watched the Thanksgiving Parade on television, followed by the dog show with some bourbon imbibed.  We're enjoying our own little family traditions.  We, or I more specifically did not enjoy watching the Redskins lose to the Dallas Cowboys on Thanksgiving, and it may have soured my mood a tad but the day was still a fun 1st in our home.

December has been pretty busy for us.  The girls' dance recital and Evie's 5th Birthday just a week or so before Christmas.  That's right FIVE years old. My oldest daughter is five years old.  It's a cliche I know but they grow up so fast.  I remember holding her in my arms for the very 1st time and now she's a five year old kid.   (Not to skip over the dance recital.  It was cute.  Ronen didn't dance at all she just took center stage and smiled at the audience.  Evie Sue was adorable. She followed the choreography, smiled excitedly, and loved every minute of the performance.)  She's five!  We had a family gathering/party for her and squeezed more people than I thought possible into our home.  It was a great night!

Winter is here.  We've had some snow.   There have been multiple days of subzero weather and even though it isn't supposed to snow this weekend it should still be a whitish Christmas with some snow still on the ground. We are looking forward to our 1st Christmas in this house, the 1st of many, the tree is up, the gifts are wrapped and tomorrow after spending time with family over at the Patsy home we will return home and wait for Santa Claus to arrive.

We will miss our family far and wide, this year but know that they are only a phone call away.  I hope everyone has a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

This Past Summer

My girls!

I've been trying to post now for a while.  With no internet in our home, currently, and a busy family life I haven't had the time to sit down and properly write something witty and/or worth reading.  There have also been a few techno-rage issues, when I run into a library on my way to work and try to speedily throw together a post and wind up cocking up the whole post with margins, deleting pictures, and formatting BS!

Oh well, here are a few pics from this Summer and our continuing adventures in White Bear Lake.  I'll post more about the family and house soon.

Hanging out w/Uncle Bert & Aunt Stephanie in our backyard!

Optimist Beach, White Bear Lake, Evie Sue and I got to spend a morning splashing around with cousins Mike, Jenn and their daughter Maya.

Evie Sue and I took in the Japanese Lantern Lighting Festival at Como Park Conservatory.  It was packed.

RonenP

Evie Sue gets a push from a Sophie, a cousin, at a family reunion on Bone Lake.

The season is changing and fall is almost here.  There will be trips to apple orchards, and the Renaissance Festival.  We'll have backyard bonfires, and hopefully a visit from Granddaddy Cobb!  Evie Sue starts her second year of pre-school tomorrow at a local Nature Center.  She's super excited!  Both Evie and Ronen will be taking dance classes this fall and Sara gets to participate in Ronen's class.  Expect some sickeningly sweet photos soon. 

Closing On A House

We did it!  We Bought A House!

Bienvenido a la casa de Cobb  - Minnesota edition!

Long story short we found a house got the approval, made an offer, had an inspection, etc.  On June 30th, today, we signed the papers and began the move in process.  Most of our things were still in storage although there is quite a bit of stuff to pack up and organize from our current apartment.  It'll be a while before we're completely settled in but we are excited for our new home.  We are living in White Bear Lake, a few minutes away from the in-Laws, walking distance of uptown, the library and several playgrounds.  Thank you to family and friends that made all of this possible through your love and support.  Today has been a momentous day for our little family!

Closing In On One Year.

At the end of June the Cobb family will have been living in Minnesota for a whole year.  Sara and the girls flew out a few days before I arrived in a rental truck with all of our earthly possessions.  How has so much time passed? 

11 Months & Counting!

2016 is flying by.  How is it already the end of May?  It's funny because when I'm at work the day seems to stretch into eternity but each morning as I wake up and check the calendar it appears as if time is speeding up on me.

We have now been in Minnesota for 11 months!  Summer is approaching, the warm weather has been nice, the flowers are in full bloom and pretty soon there will be farmers' markets, street festivals, pool parties backyard cook outs, etc.  Evie Sue has wrapped up another drama class, finished her swim lessons, and her last week of preschool.  Next year we are enrolling her in a different preschool program at a local nature center; because of her late birthday she'll have another year before Kindergarten.  Dance classes will be starting soon and there's probably, at least, another round of swim lessons in her future.  Ronen P is a walking, talking toddler.  (She talks non-stop even if we don't understand most of her gibberish.)  She loves to dance to music, imitate her big sister, and headbutt people when she gets a little perturbed.  The girls continue to grow, as they do, and their relationship as sisters blossoms and evolves.

In other unrelated news, the Premiere League season is over; Liverpool finished in 8th place, and choked in the finals of the UEFA Europa League tournament against Sevilla. It was a fun season though and I am hopeful that  Jurgen Klopp can manage the team into a top 4 finish soon.  Sara and I, along with her cousins Nikki & Dave, attended a Minnesota United FC game the other night.  The Loons are a local soccer/football club that will join the MLS (Major League Soccer) in a few seasons.  Right now they are in 4th place in the NASL (North American Soccer League) table.  They lost 0-2 but we still had a fun time supporting a local minor league sports team and hanging out with family.  I am about halfway through the podcast History of the World in 100 Objects.  My work routine has changed, I now am in charge of the cheese order, and I don't spend nearly as much time isolated in the dairy cooler as I did so my podcast listening time has diminished some.  I have also just started reading Revelation Space by Alastair Reynolds.
  

Playing in the sun

A Few More Things

This past week I celebrated my 41st birthday!  Last year when I turned 40 people would ask me, "What did you do for the BIG 4 0?"  Well, Ronen was only a few weeks old so I didn't really celebrate in a big way!  This year, however, I took the day off - which I never do - and spent the day with family for the most part. It was a cold and rainy day.   Sara brought home take out pho for lunch, and then I drove into Minneapolis to Brit's Pub to watch Liverpool vs Villareal in the UEFA Europa League Semi-finals.  We lost.  Then I sat in rush hour traffic in the rain, and listened to a few podcasts.  When I got home, I grilled out in the rain.  I even was gifted a 6 pack of assorted beers by my mother-in-law.  It wasn't the most jam-packed, wildly celebrated day but it was the perfect mix of family time, and me time.

House-hunting continues with very little success so far.  We've seen a few houses that would need much more attention (repairs/money) than we are able to provide.  We have been here in Minnesota for 10 months now; hard to believe.  We are fortunate enough to have a fully furnished  garden apartment to temporarily reside in and a 'landlady' who is more than willing to let us take our time in finding a house.  This means we don't need to rush into anything like I did with the car.  The car is running fine now, by the way.

Ronen is walking all over the place.  She stands.  She wobbles.  She walks.  She falls down.  Repeat.  She'll still drop to her knees and haul ass in a lightning quick crawl if she has somewhere she wants to be but the walking is pretty constant nowadays.  Another layer of baby-roofing needs to be administered.

Evie Sue has started a few extracurricular activities this past month including swim lessons and a drama class.  She's done the drama class thing before back in Maryland at a theatre Sara used to work for and Evie Sue loved it.  She also seems to have inherited her mother's penchant for the drama, and loves to perform little songs, and scenes from time to time.  Swim lessons are at a local community center that has an indoor pool/waterpark.  Evie loves getting in the water and I hope she'll become even more comfortable as she learns to float, and swim.  The class has some parent involvement during the 1st few weeks so I've been splashing around and blowing bubbles with her during the sessions.  Eventually, I'll get phased out and she'll be more independent with her instructor.
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Recently, Sara and I had the pleasure of attending one of Evie Sue's parent teacher conferences.  It was odd being on the other side of the desk.  I've been the student, and I've even been the teacher in the past but this was my 1st conference as a parent.  I was extremely proud.  The teacher showed us some of Evie Sue's 'classwork', talked about her exemplary vocabulary, her social skills and basically reaffirmed our belief in how cool our kid is. There was even a point where we mentioned possibly enrolling her in a different preschool program next year and concern for how the change might affect our young student.  The teacher smiled, and said Evie would thrive in whatever setting we put her in.  Proud.

365 Days of Ronen

How has a year gone by already?  On April 3rd we celebrated Ronen's 1st birthday.  My baby girl, my 2nd born, is a one year old!  Time keeps rolling on.  She is at a fun age.  She smiles, laughs and babbles to herself.  She into all kinds of trouble as she crawls from room to room trying to explore here ever-expanding world.  She hugs her stuffed animals, organizes her toys as best she can, and gets pissed off if you take something she wants... might need some anger management classes later in life.  She still doesn't sleep through the night but that this point that's old hat.

We had a small (kinda) gathering, for the birthday celebration, here in our apartment with many of Sara's family and some friends.  Sara made banana cupcakes for everyone, and Ronen housed her birthday cupcake.  She also was gifted many fun toys, and clothes.  It was a fun day with family and interesting to see how Ronen dealt with all of the attention even if she didn't fully understand what we were all celebrating.  She was smiley, and chipper.  She was crawling all over the place, waving at people, and even standing up on her own several times.  She still needs help to actually walk but that will happen before we know it.

Before Ronen was born I was nervous, not about being a father again but about having child number 2.  How could I possibly love a second child as much as I love my 1st daughter?  How would I be able to share the love between my children?  Turns out I needn't have worried.  (Shocker!)  Ronen is as wonderful, awesome and challenging as her big sister and in her own unique ways, and I love her, of course!


I meant to post this in the days following the birthday celebration but here we are, over 2 weeks later, and I'm just getting around to posting.  Since the party Ronen stands up all the time has taken  numerous steps and once even walked across the room when she thought I wasn't looking.  She's a little wobbly on her feet but she's getting the walking thing down.  Now, if only she'd sleep a little more soundly at night.





  

Lion or Lamb?

March has come and Spring is here.  How can we have possibly lived in Minnesota for almost 9 months?  It doesn't seem possible.  Yet here we are.  Admittedly this Winter was a mild one by Midwestern standards but I am ready for a little warm up.

The car problems are a thing of the past.  (Knock on wood.)  The van has been working fine and serving its purpose of local transportation.  So now that that hurdle has been cleared we'll turn our attention to a few other matters.  1st we have to do our taxes.  Every year we say we'll get an early start on them but always procrastinate until the last minute.  April 15th will be here before we know it.  2nd, we need to start looking at buying a house again.  Last fall we started the ball rolling but didn't end up getting the house we thought we thought we wanted and that was okay.  We're very fortunate in our living situation right now and aren't desperately seeking to buy a house as soon as possible.  We can search for what we want and/or can afford.

Recently Sara and I were able to get away for a date night in Stillwater, MN.  A riverside town, I've mentioned before, that is just a charming local destination.  We dropped the girls off with her brother's family nearby, drove into town and used a gift card at a local cheese shop/restaurant.  After our meal we strolled around town, popped into a local 'dive bar', and were back at the brother's house before 8PM.  The rest of the night was spent visiting with family and drinking some local beers.  It was a fun weekend.

Wall of Fame at the St. Paul PBS Station

March 19th was "Won't You Be My Neighbor Day" at the local PBS television station.  In honor of Fred Rogers and his life's work PBS was hosting a local event where families could come and meet a beloved children's television character Daniel Tiger.  (For those of you who do not know Daniel is the son of the original Daniel Striped Tiger puppet from Mister Roger's Neighborhood.  In 2011 an animated spin off was created featuring the next generation of characters from the Neighborhood of Make Believe.  Daniel Tiger wears a red sweater, rides on the Trolley, and continues the work of Mister Rogers.)  Evie Sue loves  'Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood' and I got a rare Saturday off so we decided to drive into St. Paul and got to the TPT - Twin Cities PBS.
It was a zoo.  The even had been advertised on the PBS station but there was also a pretty significant social media advertisement and the turn out was immense.  A decision to use color-coded wristbands for the hourly appearances was never mentioned online and, apparently, made last minute.  The facility only had a 250 person capacity limit for each hour and the wristbands were all gone by 10Am when we casually strolled into the madness.  The lobby was packed, the staff was overwhelmed and the continuously growing crowd was unaware of the wristband debacle.  We lucked into 2 red wristbands, the noon time slot, thanks to a mother who decided the wait would not be worth it for her and her family.  There were actually 6 bands but we split the count with another women who had a larger group.  Evie Sue and I would meet Daniel while Sara and Ronen explored the neighborhood and waited patiently to go to lunch.

We did it.  We met Daniel Tiger.  After waiting in a crowded lobby, finally being let into the room where the event was to take place, briefly coloring a PBS coloring book, lining back up and waiting an additional half hour we got our picture taken with Daniel Tiger and spent less than a minute in the presence of celebrity.  Was it worth it?  At the time, stressed out and annoyed, I wouldn't have said so but looking back and seeing Evie Sue's face light up, watching the heartfelt hug she laid on him I would have to say it was well worth the hassle and, remember, it was free.  I just now asked Evie Sue if she got the fact that people were upset at the event and she said she did and thought it was because there weren't enough 'tickets'.  The backlash on social media was pretty ridiculous.

In other news, work is work.  The Cup & Cone, a local ice cream shop, has reopened for the season.  Ronen P is almost a year old.  That's right.  On April 3rd she will have been on this earth, out of the womb, for 365 days!  I cannot believe it.  The last year has flown by and seemed like an eternity at the same time.  So much has happened since she was born and yet it seems like it was just yesterday.  A small birthday celebration is planned for the 3rd. 

I am currently reading David Elliot Cohen's One Year Off: Leaving It All Behind for a Round-The-World Journey with Our Children.  It is an entertaining read, pieced together from emails sent by the author to his friends and family during the Cohen's family vacation around the world.  I sometimes get frustrated with my family during short little road trips and cannot even imagine dragging the wife and kids to the four corners of the Earth.  Travel memoirs always appeal to me but I am sometimes bothered by the fact that the people who write these books, and have these amazing adventures are undeniably wealthy.  It takes mucho dinero to sail around the world solo, or to pick up your lives and just travels to as many continents as you can on a whim.  Don't get me wrong, I don't begrudge Cohen and his wife for their financial status... not much, anyway.  They worked hard for their money, they made the tough decision to liquidate their assets and jump feet first into the unknown.  I am envious but just once I'd like to find a book about someone who had a great travel adventure on a meager or middle class salary.

When Life Gives You A Lemon... Part II

I shook the man's hand as he handed me the keys.  The seller had always claimed that he had a great mechanic for years and that the van was given a clean bill of health.  He offered to show me his receipts, and offered any assistance if the car needed repairs that were under his warranty or that his 'guy' had worked on.  The seller said something to the effect of, "Don't take this the wrong way but I hope I never hear from you again."  He wasn't being rude.  He meant he hoped that we would be happy with the Montana we just bought from him and that we would have a long, hassle-free ownership... we did not.  (See previous post)

It wasn't the thermostat.  It was the head gasket.  A costly repair that cost more that the car which I bought earlier in January.  In less than 30 days the used car I bought for a 2nd family car was in need of a major repair.  My 'Car'ma is the worst of the worst.  3 out of the 4 used cars I have bought in the last decade needed a major repair within the 1st month of owning them.  I have often joked that the only proof I have of a god is the fact that I have the worst luck with cars.  There must be some kind of higher power out there in the universe with a wicked sense of humor that I do not understand.  You cannot be an atheist when the cosmic joke is on you.

Suddenly I was faced with a major repair that cost more money than I was anticipating spending on the car in the 1st month of ownership.  Don't get me wrong, I know older used cars need upkeep and that car maintenance cost money but I would rather not have a car fall apart on me right away.  If I have to double down on my investment within 30 days that is not a good investment - that investment sucks!  Money is not something that we have ever had in abundance and there is no way that this repair was going to happen without some kid of assistance or divine intervention.

I contacted the seller to tell him of the problems I was having with the car.  I asked him questions through emails, and voicemail, about the overheating/thermostat issues.  In response he told me he'd never really had any issues like I was describing but to keep him updated.  I took the car in to have the thermostat replaced and the problem wasn't fixed.  The mechanic then explained that it must be the head gasket.  This was a possibility from the beginning but we'd hoped for the easier repair, and expected it to be the issue since it appears that the lower intake manifold gaskets had been replaced sometime in the past few years and that usually those aren't replaced unless you, the mechanic, are going into replace the head gasket, too.  (If you do not speak mechanic, which I do not, I can explain it a little simpler.  Work had been done on the engine which indicated that this might have been an issue in the past.  The repairs that appear to have been done were only a half measure, and most mechanics would have done a more complete job.)

I contact the seller again, because A) I'm trying to wrap my head around the mechanics' diagnosis and price quote and B) I want to see if the seller's mechanic has any paperwork on this particular problem.  I leave a message, fully expecting to not receive a return call, and go to work in the foulest of moods.  What are we going to do?  How are we going to absorb this financial blow?  Why am I cursed?

Back from the shop.

Here's where the story takes an interesting twist.  The guy calls me back.  Not only does he call me back but he feels terrible.  He is beside himself.  He claims he never would have sold the car to me if he knew it had this issue.  He does not want me to have to put the money in to pay for the repairs and says he'll buy the car back before he lets me spend the money.  He just needs more information so that he can go back to his mechanic and make sure he has everything straight.  Over the next few days we exchange texts and phone calls about the car.  He has his mechanic, and his brother, also a mechanic, feeding him questions to ask about the car to make sure the repairs are necessary, to find out the true nature of the problem and, I suspect, to cover his butt.  To be fair, I always had a good feeling about the seller and his wife.  They, a retired couple, seemed to me to be caring, thoughtful and above all honest.  I was beyond frustrated to find that the car wasn't as reliable as I'd been led to believe but was hesitant to think that I'd been screwed over.  They didn't seem the type.

Eventually, to clear his conscience, and wash his hands of the whole mess the seller cut me a check for the majority of the price I paid for the car.  I won't say how much but he was more than generous and I never expected him to make that decision.  I was blown away, and through several claims that he had no financial or legal obligations to me or my family, a few passive aggressive comments about me buying a used car without having any mechanical know how, and repeated reminders about how magnanimous his amazing act was I remained and still am grateful for this turn of events.  He didn't have to give me back the money but he did and I am not one to look a gift horse in the mouth for very long.

Thanks to this fortunate turn of events we were able to afford the repairs.  We debated taking the check, selling the van which the seller did not want back, and trying to buy a different car but after consulting with our mechanic we decided to have the van repaired.  This is not a car we will be driving cross country and is only needed for local driving.   Our mechanic believes that with the repair performed it will serve us well.  Of course, we'll have to wait an see what the universe has in store for us unfortunate car owners.

PS.  Today is Leap Day 2016.  I don't think I've ever blogged on the 29th of February before.  I searched and could not find a Leap Day post.  We tried to explain Leap Year to Evie Sue today.  She quickly lost interest. So far 2016 is shaping up to be an interesting year... Happy Leap Year. 





   

When Life Gives You A Lemon... Part I

The bad 'Car'ma continues.   Bum bum bummmmmmmm!  The new van apparently does not like freezing temperatures and has a thermostat that sticks when it gets below 10 degrees.  Of course, I now live in Minnesota, it's the winter and my car threatens to overheat on a semi-regular basis.  The thermostat sticks the engine heats up, the temperature spikes, a warning light comes on and I have to pull over, fiddle with some knobs, and wait for the thermostat to un-stick.  Meanwhile, the heat isn't working correctly as a side effect of the issue. 

Will this car be different?  Apparently not.

Yay, what fun!  The other night it took me almost 3 times as long to get home because I had to keep pulling over to the side of the rode and killing the engine.  It was 0 degrees.  Yesterday I warmed the car up, and I use the term loosely because it never warmed up, and after 45 minutes the vents were still blowing cold air, the temperature gauge was too high and I was going to be late for work.  I thought I'd be more comfortable sitting in my driveway than on the side of the road.  Turns out I was wrong and freezing your ass off sucks no matter where your car is parked.  Eventually I was chauffeured to work by my loving family whom cut short their trip to the library to drive me to work.  Luckily, Evie Sue was very understanding and not upset about it in the least.  Oh, but she wasn't.

My 4 year old is a noisy, noisy child.  Whether she is talking too loud with headphones on, screaming bloody murder at the top of her lungs just because she wants a cookie, or inanely babbling and shrieking in the backseat of the van as I try to keep an eye on the temperature gauge, fearing a breakdown, she always seems to be existing at an elevated volume with no desire for silence whatsoever.    Sometimes I reach my limits and I want to shout over her nonsensical chatter and tell her to shut her ever-loving mouth!  I want to jam pencils into my ears so I do not ever have to hear her singing songs from Frozen!  I try my best not to say anything too scarring in my moments of weakness. 

I'd like to go on record right now as saying, '"I'm sorry," to my father.  (There are probably countless things I could be apologizing for but in this instance I would like to apologize for being loud and obnoxious as a child and then not understanding why my father did not think I was wonderfully creative and/or fabulous every waking moment).  When I was a child my father would often say to me, "Rest your mouth, son!"  We could be watching television together, on a road trip, or even at the dinner table and at some point my father would pass his threshold for all things relating to me, my sense of humor and senseless babbling... "Rest your mouth, son!"  I would close my mouth, set my jaw in a defiant sneer and swear to never utter another knock knock joke, Pee Wee Herman impression, or ever give him the honor of hearing my voice ever again... Ever!  This resolution in actuality, probably, never lasted longer than a few minutes and then I was off again, flapping my gums.

Now, as an adult, father of 2 girls, and in-arguably still a loud and obnoxious tool I too have discovered a threshold for loudness and youth.  I get it finally and therefore would like to apologize to my father for ever vilifying you in the past when you would calmly request that I rest my mouth when you actually wanted to, simultaneously, slap me upside the head, shake me...hard, scream at me to shut the hell up, and stuff a sweaty sock in my gob.  I am sorry.

In another bit of unrelated news I have recently discovered A History of the World In 100 Objects.  It is a podcast that chronicles the history of the world using 100 objects found in the British Museum which you would've known if you just clicked on the link I pasted in this post.  Each episode is about 15 or 16 minutes long.  It's worth a listen if you have some time to kill while you're waiting for your piece of shit car to warm up in subzero weather.   

Less Than Passionate or Passionless?

I recently asked a handful of coworkers what, if anything, was or were their passions?  I got a few varying answers.  One said, "I dunno.  I really like music.  I guess I'm passionate about that."  (Doesn't seem like it.)  Another said, "I don't really have a passion right now.  It really makes life feel empty."  A few just laughed and asked me what my passion was and thereby avoided the question.

Recently, as I've been scanning social media I've come across a few "friends" who post regularly and sometimes even over-zealously about some aspect of their life and that aspect seems to define who they have become.  Countless pictures of a person at the gym or cross-fit center, mirror selfies showing their progress in getting their health body back, blog posts about accepting loss and finding love all seem to have assault me from every direction.  "Assault" is a strong word I realize; I don't have to read the person's post, or pay attention to their umpteenth inspirational Instagram post of the day but I do.  I sit on my smart phone during my dinner break, in front of the television, or on the crapper and I casually swipe my finger down the screen looking for something I don't know what. 

• Inspiration?  I doubt it.  I roll my eyes, and scoff when I see yet another mirror selfie and a random quote attached.  It doesn't seem like someone who has it all together or even answers to just a few of life's questions would spend so much time on social media.  
• An example?  I think not.  I don't get people who attach an activity to their identity, @jimmydoescrossfit and @brittanysquats post endlessly about their favorite activity, working out, and good for them but it seems a little much.  If I instagramed a picture of myself doing a chin-up, bench-pressing 250lbs at the gym, or even just physically in a gym then that would be something because this guy doesn't ever go into gyms these days.  "Look, he's in a gym!  What the hell is he doing in a gym?"
• A New Hobby?  Should I eat paleo?  Is yoga something I should be into?  Do I need to try the latest fat-burning waist-cincher?  Is their a new pyramid scheme out that I can best utilize with my facebook account?  I could sell essential oils, teeth whitening strips, yoga pants and/or Canadian yarn art but I don't want to I'd rather just swipe and scoff.

But then again who am I to criticize?  What am I passionate about?  If you were to peruse my social media postings you might find random posts about a few sports teams I like, movies I enjoy, goodreads.com updates, and a shit ton of pics of my family.  So that must mean I'm passionate about being a dad and a husband.  I enjoy it, most times, but I'm not grooming daughter to be prodigies or anything.  I'm not drilling Evie Sue day and night with mathematical flashcards or shoving a bassoon in Ronen's face.  I'm content to let them be kids right now and I quite enjoy goofing off with them.  I don't believe I've discovered a new way of parenting, in fact, I often remark on how inept of a parent I may prove to be.  As far as husbanding goes, I'm sure I have a lot of work to improve on in that regard.

What about my writing?  What about it?  I haven't actively worked on a script in an eternity.  I posted a few blog posts last year, "published" an essay online but I haven really invested myself in any one particular project that would be of note.  Even my blog posts can feel a bit routine as I'm giving monthly updates to my few readers.  Recently, I read a blog post by a high school friend.  It was about her moving on from a divorce and looking ahead, most importantly, looking and still believing in love.  She was honest, raw and a bit too much at times but she had something she wanted to say and said it with a passion.  It made me examine my writings, this blog, old scripts, etc,and wonder if I ever write with passion.  Do the stories I want to tell have passion? Is there something worthwhile that I'm trying to say with my scripts?  Do I take a stand in any of my writing or do I just comfortably hover along the middle ground?

What am I passionate about?

Politics?  Nope.  It's all a lot of stuff and nonsense.  No one can ever deliver on their promises because of all of the political manuevering that must happen.  Political parties are all flawed.  No one has the answer.

Religion?  Nope.  I believe that there is something out there in the universe that is bigger than me and I'll never understand it.  I'm okay with that.  I'll try my best to lead a good life without religion.  Organized religion is flawed because people are flawed.  No one has the answer.

Civil Rights? While I see the importance I'm not actively supporting or protesting any particular issue ate the present time.  I never really have,   I believe Black Lives Matter.  I believe White Lives Matter.  Lives matter.  Most lives matter to someone  even if they don't always matter to me.  I don't believe that I have ever oppressed anyone before but I regret oppression as a concept.  I think people should be allowed to pursue happiness, and be treated fairly because they are people and we are all sharing the same space but then again people are flawed.

Animal Cruelty?  I am not cruel to animals and I don't understand people who are no matter how flawed they are.

I don't give of myself or my time to any of the concepts listed above.  I have friends who are actively involved, volunteering their time at pet shelters, protesting police brutality in Baltimore, and drumming up support for their favorite candidate.  Not me.  I'll vote, shake my head in disgust at the evening news and pick up my dog's leavings but that's it.  These things, while I acknowledge their importance to some, do not move me to act.  I may be too apathetic.

According to merriam-webster.com the definition  of apathetic is

1 :  having or showing little or no feeling or emotion :  spiritless 

2 :  having little or no interest or concern :  indifferent

Spiritless?  Moi?  Indifferent, yes, but spiritless?  I don't know.  I agree I can be indifferent to a lot of things but I don't know if I'm apathetic.  Maybe I'm laid back... but not always.  In fact, I can be downright stressed out and emotional about many things.  Maybe I tend to be a bit uninterested these days in the world around me.  Maybe I never became a superhero not because I lacked extraterrestrial origins, an extra chromosome or a freak accident to give me superpowers but because a hero who chose to sit at home on the couch, drink a beer and watch Yo Gabba Gabba with his kids instead of fight the forces of evil and injustice wouldn't really be a hero worth being.  No one wants to read that comic.

I recently read an article, forwarded onto me by my wife*, after I asked her what she was passionate about, and in it the author says that finding your purpose has to do with identifying one or two things that are bigger than yourself.  My family would definitely be one of those things and while I may have my rough days, sleepless nights, and frustrating moments I love being a Dad.  I hope to be an engaged, and loving father.  As my daughters get older I plan for them to know me as a man who always has time for a kiss, laughs at their jokes, helps them up when they fall and spends time in healthy, rewarding friendships and relationships.  Maybe my writing will come full circle again and I'll be able to dedicate the time and effort that I always hoped I would.  Maybe I'll suddenly become passionate about an injustice in the world and feel the need to address it with my words.  Maybe I won't.  Maybe I'll just go on living as close to a decent life as I possibly can.

PS.  A coworker, a young man of 20, who was bothered by the fact that he doesn't seem to be passionate about anything anymore approached me about my question.  He reopened the discussion because it had been weighing heavily on his mind.  He feels he should have more interests having lost touch with his love of music, stopped practicing martial arts, and finding himself spending more time working on school and work.  We talked for quite awhile, and while I know we didn't come to any conclusions for either of us I do know it helped us both to be able to voice these feelings and frustrations.  That in and of itself shows me that I am not apathetic.

*  My wife didn't really have an easy answer to the question either.  It's not an easy question.  I'm sure there are those that could just rattle off a few causes that they support, or a social issue that consumes all of their free time and energy but it would appear that many people struggle with finding passion.

2016! Let's Do It!

It's a New Year!  Happy 2016!  Let's see where the year takes us.  I'm not going to post every month.  I'm just gonna write when I have time to write; when I feel like writing.  If I go months with no update then so be it.  If I am stricken by a feverish burst of writing then I'll post more often.  We'll have to wait and see.

This year we rang in the New Year with Sara's brother and his family.  They're renting a house north of us on Big Carnelian Lake and we spent the evening playing games, and enjoying some local beers.  The lake is beautiful and I even got the chance to visit a week or so later and go ice fishing for the 1st time ever! 

It wasn't a successful trip, meaning we didn't catch anything, but, in -9 degree weather, we drilled holes in 8" ice, set up a tent & heater, cracked open a few beers, dropped our hooks into the water, tore it all down and got inside by kick off for the Vikings play off appearance.  Pretty good day.

The new car.

The big news of the year, so far, is that we finally bought a car; a minivan if we're being specific.  After several set backs, and frustrating weeks of existing as a single car family we bit the bullet and committed to a 2003 Pontiac Montana.  It's been fairly well taken care of by the retired couple from whom we purchased the vehicle.  After coming through Craigslist and trying to look at/test drive multiple cars of varying quality I decided that the van appeared to be the most safe and reliable car in our price range.  Over the past few months I've seen a few beaters that I would not feel comfortable putting my kids in.  We shall have to see how it all pans out.  Will the Cobb Family's bad 'Carma' rear its ugly head again or will the van prove to be a wise choice?  

Winter creeps along and the snow stays on the ground.  We haven't had much but a recent string of -0 degree days was rough on cars and kids alike.  The baby is still not sleeping through the night and she's nearly 10 months old.  Evie Sue is loving her preschool program but needs another outlet for her limitless energy.  Plans for swim lessons and dance class have recently fallen through but we're hopeful for the next session of classes.  Soon I'd like to get her involved in a team sport, as well.  I'm currently reading 109 East Palace:Robert Oppenheimer and the Secret City of Los Alamos.  It's a pretty interesting book about a fascinating time in American History.  I also just saw the new Star Wars film and I have mixed feelings about it but that could be a whole other post...