The year In Review (2010)

Let's look back at the year 2010 and hit some of the highs and lows of the last 365 eays, shall we?

1) Polar Bear Plunge - This past January I, along with hundreds of other brave souls, jumped into the Chesapeake Bay in the middle of a snow storm! I raised several hundred dollars for the Maryland Special Olympics and froze my butt off! It was amazing: amazingly bad weather, amazingly cold, and amazingly fun!
2) Frozen - I only acted in one theatrical production during the 2010 calendar year and that was Colonial Players of Annapolis' production of 'Frozen' by Bryony Lavery. I played an unsavory sort of character, and the play was very dark and depressing. We opened late due to the severe winter weather but the production was well received and even started some discussion of possible awards. We're still waiting to see if that pans out.
3) Ivymount - In 2009 I left my teaching job at The Ivymount School, in hopes of returning to Chicago. Instead I stayed local and found myself working several low-paying jobs, and wishing for something more fulfilling. I eventually called up Ivymount, started substituting regularly and then was offered a full time contract as an assistant teacher. Many things have changed in my time at the school, and I miss the Expressive Arts teaching position (Music/Drama) but I am happy to be working. I am happy to be back in Special Education and I am happy to see the students everyday.
4) Taxes - We got whored! Recently, I discussed our tax woes with a relative and this relative said to me, "How can you guys owe so much, you don't make anything?" That was exactly our question at the time. Apparently, we both had worked contracted jobs during the previous year and hadn't put aside enough money to cover the taxes owed ob those jobs... completely our fault. Still sucked being told we owed that much money to the IRS when we barely make enough to cover our bills.
5) 35 - In 2010 I turned 35 year old. It wasn't a big deal. I just turned another year older and mourned the passing of my younger years.
6) The Wrong Package - This past July I had another script of mine produced for a theatrical production. 'The Wrong Package' debuted as part of the Colonial Players of Annapolis' One Act Festival. It was directed by a friend of mine, a very talented director, and reader of this blog. Some things worked somethings did not. It's always interesting to see my words come to life on stage. I was happy with the production.
7) Chicago - Also in July, Sara and I took a quick road trip to Chicago for a wedding. We had a great time! We stayed with my brother, Bert, and his wife, Stephanie, who live in our old neighborhood. We got to see some old friends, visit old haunts, and enjoy the city we both miss so much.
8) Minnesota - In August we flew to St. Paul/Minneapolis area to visit the Patsy clan. We were in town for the In-Laws 40th Wedding Anniversary, and my Mother-in-Law's birthday! We visited with family, and friends, sat out by the pool and Sara even took me to the Minnesota State Fair for some fried foods, and fun!
9) Department Change - Whilst in Minnesota I received a phone call from my boss. Long story short: I was asked to move over into a different department at school. I had been working with students with Asperger's Syndrome, and was enjoying my job. I had developed a great relationship with the staff, and students. I was being asked to move into the Post High School department and work as a one to one with an older student who would be working out in the community a lot, and getting ready to graduate in another year. After my employment problems of the past year, I was just happy to have a job I enjoy and so I accepted the change. It's been an interesting change in schedule, methods, and mindset. I still enjoy my job.
10) Car - We bought a car! That's right, we finally gave in and bought a car. For the past year or so it's been a joke with us as to which would fail us first; Sara's car, my car or our computer. Turns out Sara's car was 1st to go. So we traded in her clunker and got a nice used KIA Rio5. (See my December posts.)

So to review, many things happened in 2010. It was an eventful, not always fun, or pleasant year. It wasn't as bad as 2009 but it still could've been better. We're still paying off tax debt, now compounded with car payments, and trying to stretch our paychecks longer than they'll allow. We're still looking for the answers. We're still asking the questions. We're hopeful for 2011.

A Month To Write

I received an email the other day from a theatre company in Illinois that, in the past, I have submitted scripts to for production. They've never produced any of my scripts. They're inviting me to submit again for their upcoming 10 Minute Play Festival! They've come up with a new theme and the deadline is February 1st 2011.

Now to be frank, I have not been inspired lately. I can't remember the last time I actively worked on writing or reviewing any of my incomplete projects. I've had the last week off from my job and didn't use the time to write. (I did receive a rejection email a few weeks back from a literary magazine that was not interested in some of my short fiction. So that was probably the last time I worked on writing, and I submitted them a month or so ago.) I have not been a writer recently.

Last night I got into a discussion with a friend of mine about a screenplay he's developing. I really enjoyed his concept and hearing his ideas. It inspired me!

Here's what I'm suggesting. I am going to submit a 10 Minute script to the aforementioned theatre company by February 1st 2011. I am giving myself a goal and a deadline. I started brainstorming this morning, and developed a brief outline for a short script that falls within the theme. I will use the 1st month of the coming year to write, review, revise, and submit a brand new One Act. I am going to start out the new year with a writing project and get things started on a positive note! I then hope to revisit some of my incomplete projects and get back to writing. I miss the creativity.

Over 1/2 Way Through The Winter Break!

... And it occurs to me that so far I have not been as productive with my free time as perhaps I should've been. It is a vacation, after all, but I am starting to feel like a bum. Perhaps I should review some of my writings - it's been awhile since I've written anything and I still have numerous projects waiting to be completed. I promised I'd straighten the house some when I get the chance... it'll happen eventually. I have spent my time watching a few movies, finishing The Dispossessed, starting Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal, and sitting around on my couch. I have also been working on memorizing lines for my next show which will start rehearsals in January.

Oh, and we bought a car! We finally bit the bullet and traded in Sara's clunker, and purchased a used KIA Rio5. It's a sporty little blue number and so far we really enjoy it. We'll see how we feel once the payments start, but I will no longer worry, every time the phone rings, that Sara is calling me from the side of the road, stranded as her car is engulfed in flames. A little peace of minds is nice.

'Twas The Night Before Christmas...

...And Sara & Tootsie are asleep on the couch, 'A Christmas Story' is on the TV, and I'm online checking the Santa tracker! Happy Holidays Everyone! Merry Xmas!

Did You See The Moon?

Sara and I woke twice last night to sneak peeks at the lunar eclipse. We watched the very beginning of the process and then woke up almost 2 hours later to see it nearing it's conclusion - we'd overslept the alarm to see the eclipse at its totality. It was the first time in nearly 4 centuries that a lunar eclipse coincides with the Winter Solstice. I woke up this morning thinking about all of the cool, little things that happen everyday that we might miss if we're not paying attention. Sometimes we need to just slow down and take a look around us. Thank you, Sara, for suggesting we moongaze last night.

Thankfully My Head Hasn't Exploded... Yet!

We're trying to buy Sara a car! That's right, we've thrown in the towel! Her lemon of a VW Golf is limping along on its last legs, or balding tires, and blown shocks,with its crumbling exhaust coughing along on its way towards a death rattle. Good Riddance!

The VW was our first attempt at buying a used car from someone other than my parents and it wasn't a shining success. A few months after buying the car the alternator went - Adam and I replaced the starter - and then ever since then the car has been a nightmare. It burns oil, leaks oil, shorts, shakes, stutters, and drives Sara crazy. It has lasted several years with us nursing it along, and spending more money on it than we purchased it for originally. It is no longer reliable and with winter approaching we don't want to take a chance of Sara getting stranded on the side of the road or blowing up one morning as she tries the ignition.

So we headed off to Carmax. We checked out several models and makes of affordable cars, test drove two and even looked into financing. Without boring you to death, we liked a car, were approved for financing, and walked away with plans to return later in the week and finalize the transaction. We walked out of the dealership feeling great. Then negative thoughts start to take over! Interest looms over your head! Financial stress compounds! Doubt! Remorse! ARGGGHH!

Keep in mind we're first time car buyers, so what may not seem like a big deal to you has taken over the last day and a half of my life and the repercussions threaten to resound for years to come. (So I'm being melodramatic. Indulge me!) Everyone we talk to has a different opinion, some are supportive to up to a point, and others choose to play devil's advocate meanwhile they're all just creating more questions. We've already gone back and forth several times and it seems like the waffling might continue until the deal is signed.

Whatever we choose will be our decision and I guess we'll have to live with that decision whether it be good or bad. This is what grown ups do, right? They experience new things, learn as they go, overcome obstacles, and eventually understand the world of finances, right? Hopefully, I won't stroke out before we drive the car off the lot!

Some People Suck @ Life!

I listen to a local morning radio show on my commute to work each day, and it's usually good for a few laughs. This morning I tuned in and suddenly saw red! I was livid; as were many other listeners.

A woman called into the show looking for some support! She was recently suspended from her job at a car dealership, and was wanting to hear from the DJ that she had been grievously wronged and had a potential lawsuit on her hands. She was positive that she was was being victimized by her employer. Her offense was that she had been refusing to show certain car models, and not allowing test drives to certain car buyers... the physically disabled ones!

That's right, this 'C You Next Tuesday' was discriminating against physically disabled individuals! She did not see it that way. Her defense was that she'd been selling cars for a long time and knew when a customer was really going to buy a certain car and didn't feel like wasting time by showing cars to disabled people who wouldn't really buy them. She could not believe that the DJ and his morning crew did not see her point of view and was really surprised when listeners started calling into verbally bash her narrow-mindedness! I just shook my head, let the anger melt away, and enjoyed my already stressful morning commute.

'Tis The Season

I have seen numerous theatrical productions, movie versions, and cartoon parodies but up until today I don't think I've ever read the original Dickensian short story: The Christmas Carol. It was a fun, familiar read, and the story brought a smile to my face. Then later this evening Sara and I set up our Christmas tree and I found the pictured ornament: a mini-version of A Christmas Carol. We watched the movie 'Scrooged' as we decorated the tree. I'll sit down and watch the real movie versions, I have two, of it before the holidays are out, and this Wednesday I'll be attending the Colonial Players' production of the show. Now if only I could find some figgy pudding!

Even After All Of This Time

My stress often manifests itself into a Restaurant Dream! Or should I say nightmare. Rarely is it a specific restaurant but rather an amalgamation of several restaurants I worked in over the years. I realize halfway through the dream and then say to myself, 'Wait a minute, I don't work here anymore. This a dream. I wonder what's bugging me?' That usually ends the dream sequence.

I couldn't tell you what's stressing me out in particular right now: returning to work after the break, money, job related stress, or just life. I can tell you that last night, in my dreams I agreed to pick up an extra shift at a restaurant. They needed help with the hosting for the night. I then proceeded to spend the rest of the dream regretting my decision, and trying to piece together an appropriate uniform for my upcoming shift. My clothes were too wrinkled. I was afraid I'd forgotten how to use the POS system. Was it going to be a busy shift? I couldn't find the right shirt. I couldn't remember what time I'd agreed to show up for work. I was dreading bumping into the boss. All of these little stresses started to take over before I realized I'm dreaming. Then I wondered why I always dream about the restaurants.

Surprise Day Trip

Last Wednesday, the 24th, was our 3rd year wedding anniversary! (Cue The Applause) I wracked my brain trying to come up with a cute present idea, or a romantic present idea, or even just a good present idea. I was looking for DVD's I knew she liked - yes, I know that's not very romantic. Maybe jewelry? Dinner out? An origami unicorn? What to do what to do?

Today we're heading out for a mini vacation; a little day trip that I planned? We'll see what the wife thinks of it. I'll update this post when we get back.

7 Hours Later - We're Back From the Frederick Wine Trail!

That's right I surprised my wife with a trip up to Frederick, Md, to visit a few local vineyards for a day of wine-tasting and fun! I 'inadvertently' misled her with some misplaced clues, and misspoken hints and when we headed out on Route 70 West she had no idea where we were heading. When she finally saw a sign for the vineyards and figured it out she was very excited.

1st we stopped at a small vineyard, Elk Run, for a tasting and just to get the lie of the land. It was a cute little farm house set up and we eased into the day. We enjoyed a nice glass of Cabernet Franc and sat outside in the cold for a bit.


Then we drove to the Black Ankle Vineyard, just a few miles away, and arrived just in time to join a tour of the small operation. We saw the barreling room, saw some dormant vines, and even chatted up the owner of the vineyard. Next we had a tasting in their straw hut, enjoyed some local monacy ash cheese, and a wonderful Syrah by the fireplace.
All in all, it was a successful adventure. I surprised my wife with an impromptu day trip to Maryland's wine country. We enjoyed some nice wine and local snacks before heading back east to have appetizers and soup at one of Sara's favorite Columbia restaurants, Leelynn's. Now we're home enjoying a bottle of wine purchased on said trip, snuggling on the couch and basking in the glow of a wonderful day!

I Am Thankful!

I spent the day overeating with family, watching a few football games, and taking several naps! This is what the pilgrims had in mind all along. Happy Turkey Day!

Gobble Gobble

Sara took the day to try prepare her father's roast beef recipe. This is a dish that she grew up eating every Sunday at her grandparents' house and then for many years afterwards when her father would cook. We cannot visit MN without her father setting aside a day to cook roast beef, and Sara always goes bonkers when dinner is served. Our house smells, apparently, just like Sara's childhood and it is amazing.

We also have less than a week until Thanksgiving! (Sara's favorite holiday.) This year we've decided to celebrate down in North Beach, at my parents' house. We're going to have a little potluck style dinner. Sara and I will go down Wednesday night so we are there to help set up, and cook a few items on Thursday. Then we'll stay Thursday night and help clean up. This will also give us time to digest our food, go back for turkey sandwiches later in the evening and relax on the bay!

Now if only the 3 remaining work days this week would fly by as quickly as they can then we could get onto the turkey!

I Can't Do It!

A few years back I finally read Moby Dick. (Here's what I thought about it!) It took me 5 attempts to get through the book! I know it's a classic and everything but Melville is boring! You don't even see the whale until page 576!

I've recently tried to get into Melville's The Confidence Man. I can't do it! His writing is too... I don't know what! It's hard to follow, he writes run on sentences, and then compounds them with too much detail! I explained it to Sara that I feel as if I am reading a foreign language half the time. I'll read a page and then realize I have no idea what has happened.

Here's an example:

"As among Chaucer's Canterbury pilgrims, or those oriental ones crossing the Red Sea towards Mecca in the festival month, there was no lack of variety. Natives of all sorts, and foreigners; men of business and men of pleasure; parlor men and backwoodsmen; farm-hunters and fame-hunters; heiress-hunters, gold-hunters, buffalo-hunters, bee-hunters, happiness-hunters, truth-hunters, and still keener hunters after all these hunters. Fine ladies in slippers, and moccasined squaws; Northern speculators and Eastern philosophers; English, Irish, German, Scotch, Danes; Santa Fé traders in striped blankets, and Broadway bucks in cravats of cloth of gold; fine-looking Kentucky boatmen, and Japanese-looking Mississippi cotton-planters; Quakers in full drab, and United States soldiers in full regimentals; slaves, black, mulatto, quadroon; modish young Spanish Creoles, and old-fashioned French Jews; Mormons and Papists Dives and Lazarus; jesters and mourners, teetotalers and convivialists, deacons and blacklegs; hard-shell Baptists and clay-eaters; grinning negroes, and Sioux chiefs solemn as high-priests. In short, a piebald parliament, an Anacharsis Cloots congress of all kinds of that multiform pilgrim species, man."


Actually, the above paragraph, from Chapter 2, was one of the passages I enjoyed from the less than 5 chapters I read before throwing in the towel. I don't know if I'll feel the need to come back and try again later, but for now I'm saying no to this classic. Melville is not my friend!

Feeling My Age

When I think about it really hard it comes to me that perhaps the last time I went to a live Capitals' Hockey game was back in the old Capital Center! Now, after a little bit of research it turns out that the Capital Center, became the USAir Arena in 1993, then the US Airways Arena, before taking back the original name, The Capital Center, and then closing in 1997. I think the last time I went to a Capitals' game was before any of the name changes, and before I graduated high school which, oddly enough, occurred at the Capital Center. (At the time all of Prince George's High Schools used the Center for their graduations.) So it has been awhile since seeing the Capitals play live hockey.

This Thursday a coworker of mine handed me 4 tickets to a NHL Game: The Washington Capitals vs The Tampa Bay Lightning! I was excited. I went to the game with an odd assortment of my friends, old and new, and got ready to Rock The Red! We had Amazing Seats! It was an Amazing Game! We won 6-3, Semin got a hat trick, and I rediscovered my enjoyment of live ice hockey - sometimes I have a hard time following it on TV. Let's Go Caps!

Fast forward one afternoon and I go out for a quick bite to eat after work with some friends. I bring along the ticket stubs from Thursday's hockey game because they entitle us to free wings since the Caps scored over 5 goals. We order a few beers and the waitress asks to see identification. We all reach for our wallets and she turns to me and says, 'Oh, not you. You're fine.'

Ouch!

That stung a little. Actually, it was okay but then my coworkers, two really nice guys who happen to be over a decade younger than me start busting my balls about being old. It happens from time to time. A song will come on the radio when we're driving to work and I'll comment on how it reminds me of high school or college and they'll reveal that they were in elementary school when the song was popular. It's happened on numerous occasions.

Anyway, we enjoy a fun meal, pay the bill with the free wings cleared from the check, and head on our way. The host asks, 'How was everything?' I then make the mistake of telling the guy that this particular restaurant, located in my hometown, was the sight of one of my first jobs. Back then it was a Bob's Big Boys and I hosted there my Senior Year of high school. The restaurant then became a Shoney's and I waited tables there before heading off to college. The host gave me a queer look and tells me that this restaurant's been there for years, and before that it was a Boston Market. The host even suggest that I might be mistaken. I tell him that it was back in the early 90s when I worked there and the little jack ass laughs and says, 'Oh, well I wasn't even born until 91 so no wonder I don't remember that.'

So, in summation - I enjoy Capitals' Hockey, even though I hadn't seen them live since before they moved to the Verizon Center, and changed their color scheme twice. I had a good time hanging out with my friends at the game, and then again at a restaurant on Friday night even though 2 of the eatery's employees gave me the verbal equivalent of a quick kick to the nuts, and I might be realizing that the mid 30's are a little surprising to suddenly find myself in... I'm 35. Wow.

I Was Surprised...

Between handfuls of Cheetos and sips of Apple Cider he says to me, "I wish I was born years ago. Then I could've played a Nintendo NES, or a Sega Genesis. I would've played those old platform video games with really cool music. Then I would've stayed up all night long trying to beat a game because back then you couldn't save your progress like you can now."

It made me chuckle. He also said that he didn't get why cell phones were, "...all the rage". It's refreshing to see an 11 year old who isn't quite satisfied or obsessed with the latest greatest technology and the instant gratification of today's society. I used to stay up all night trying to beat "those old platform games with really cool music" and somedays I miss those adventures.

Yay October!

I love this time of year. It's not just autumn, it's October. The nights are cooler and the days can still be pleasant. Halloween's approaching, and I like to watch as many scary movies as I possibly can during the month. Movies like H.H. Holmes: America's First Serial Killer, The Crow: City of Angel, The Haunting in Connecticut, Frankenstein Meets The Wolfman, The Wolfman (Original), Lost Boys 2: The Tribe, Dead Snow, Jeepers Creepers, Frankenstein (Original), The Crazies, Final Destination, Paranormal Activity, The Wolfman, and Candy Man, to name a few.

I guess I should say horror movies because not all of the above films were actually scary. Dead Snow was an amazingly entertaining foreign nazi zombie flick. H.H. Holmes was a documentary about America's 1st documented serial killer. Paranormal Activity sucked! (I hear the sequel's supposed to be good but the 1st one was a snore.) We have 2 more nights for horror films, although I don't restrict my horror film watching to only October it definitely is concentrated during these 31 days.

Tonight we're invited to a few different parties, we have to finalize our costume ideas, carve a pumpkin, and figure out when were going to go and see the niece & nephew's Halloween outfits, if we can. We should also probably clean up the apartment a little, on this wonderful October day.

A New Look/A New Attitude?

So I decided to update my look a little here on the blog. Why? I don't know really. Maybe I'm bored. Maybe it's time for a change. Maybe I need to try something small in hopes of sparking some kind of creative spark!

What does that mean?

Lately I've sunken into a funk, I think it would be safe to say. I am not actively writing/developing any of my creative projects. I have been turning down prospective theatrical productions because I don't really feel motivated to make such a time-consuming commitment. I am choosing to stay home, mope around the apartment and be antisocial in many instances. I am consumed by an overwhelming feeling of pessimism, and self doubt. That is not who I am.

Well, okay, I've always been a bit of a negative person but it was amusing. I was creative in my naysaying. The title of this blog is all about my ability to laugh at the negative things in life, to mock the aspects of life that I take grievances with... but in a fun, hopefully entertaining way. Lately it has not been a productive trait of my personality.

It exhausting being this much of a bummer day in and day out. I shoot down ideas left and right. I already have an answer as to why certain resolutions are doomed to fail. I claim to be unaffected by certain goings on in my life but then bottle up the anger and resentment. I am always stressed out - about money, about debt, about my commute, about my future, about my family, about my lack of progress through this footrace we call life. I hate always feeling sorry for myself.

I am confused daily by the turn of events that have led me to my present. The decisions that I have made, and the obstacles that have arisen in the last few years hover around my head, and constantly buzz in my ear. I was going to be an actor. I was going to be a writer. I was going to be a teacher. I was going to have some stability. It turns out that I have unfinished manuscripts, unpaid bills, a blog and just as many questions as ever.

So I decided to change the appearance of my blog. It's a baby step but one hopefully taken in the right direction. I'm still not going to audition for productions that I am not interested in, but hopefully I will be more open to being approached by interested parties. Hopefully I will get of my butt, dust off some of my manuscripts and start sending them out again. Ideally, I will not let my life be defined by the +3 hours a day I spend sitting in traffic to get to my low-paying job or the hemorrhaging banks accounts, both of which could be cured by mysteriously winning the lottery one day.

In the meantime, I will work on slowly bettering my attitude. The motif of books you see in the background here is something that makes me smile. I love to read. I love books. I love the endless possibilities represented by an unopened book. Hopefully, this will help to inspire me in in these uninspiring times.

Douchebaggery!

1st let me say that in my time I have, admittedly, probably been less than cordial to many people in my lifetime. It would also be fair to say that I have been known to act obnoxious or indecent on occasion. I've also wronged many people in various and numerous ways that I am not proud of BUT I am pretty certain that I would not be classifiable as a Douchebag. (Maybe I'm wrong.)

I do find that these days I am quick to anger at people I perceive as Douchbags! Whether they be deadbeat fathers, reality television 'celebrities', or even just your everyday joe schmoes yelling at the bank worker because the door scratched their arm on the way out I am instantly annoyed. I grit my teeth, and fight my rising blood pressure. It's funny. Why should it bother me so much.

I should develop a tougher skin. 'It's only fantasy football... I guess it's fine if you want to act like a douchebag.' 'Of course you should make Douchbag profile updates on your facebook page. I understand that you're delusional about your talent level, stage presence, and/or performances. Oh, and did I mention it's community theatre?' 'It's completely fine if you want to drive on the shoulder of the Beltway to the next exit because you can't be bothered to wait in the traffic jam caused by a fatal car accident with all of the rest of us working stiffs. That's not Douchey at all!'

Or maybe it is! Maybe you shouldn't! Maybe you should just up and die, Douchebags!

PS. A truck carrying a tank of water crashes, head on, with a truck carrying a tank of vinegar! ->DOUCHE<-

10/10/10

It's the 10th day of the 10th month in the 10th year of the century. What does that mean? Well, that's a good question. There are several theories.

I, however, tend to think of it as a beautiful October day when there are several couples that we know exchanging wedding vows. Off the top of my head, I know of four different weddings happening today in Iowa, Illinois, Delaware and here in Maryland. Sara and I will soon be off to attend a friend's wedding up in Baltimore. So Congratulations to you all and I'm sure this day will always be remembered fondly.

That's Not Right

The landlords have the worst possible timing when it comes to having work done on the house. Maybe they're doing it on purpose now. I've mentioned before how they had the siding replaced when I was on Spring Break, and I was woken up every morning by the work men pounding on the house. A contractor was here for several days over the Summer when I was trying to relax. This morning at 8:30 or so I hear a chainsaw starting up. Workmen came to trim some of the trees on our property, at 8:30 in the morning! I'm baffled by the pattern.

Really?

Through my recent change in job titles at the school I have had the opportunity to go out into the community several times a week. My student has a job-site where he learns to perform necessary tasks, develop a good work ethic, and get an idea about what it takes to work for a living. In this case the job-site in question is a very popular shoe store. It's not always the most interesting work but I have seen some sights, and come to some conclusions about societies' shopping habits that I've found a bit alarming.

Before I started teaching I worked some retail jobs and I also served some time, many years in the hospitality industry. So I guess I shouldn't have been shocked today but I was. People ransacked that store! We're out on the floor and some areas looked like a tornado had blown through! Is it really necessary to try on multiple sets of shoes, and then leave everything out on the floor. Is it acceptable to not clean up after yourselves even just a little bit? Really? Shoes were out of boxes, and mix-matched. Boxes were strewn across the floor, crumpled papers flung in ever direction, and shoe boxes carried to the opposite side of the store and abandoned by shoe gremlins!

I felt horrible for the workers. 1 of the employees told me, after I'd apologized for all of humanity, that she remembered and everyone joked about this 1 woman and her 2 teenage daughters who made such a mess it took the staff 2 hours to clean up after them. That's ridiculous! Are people that self-involved? I would be embarrassed to leave such a huge mess after me and walk out the door.

I also noticed that people don't have any respect for personal space when shopping for shoes. There was an old Russian couple whom appeared to be going out of their way to interfere with our student workers. They were constantly backing us into corners, brushing by us as we worked, or hovering over us. A woman on a blue-tooth practically growled into her phone when she couldn't get down the crowded aisle, and shot our students a salty look as she pushed by. Aisles would become instantly clogged as our students worked to straighten up, and we would find ourselves trapped against a wall or in a corner and people were just oblivious to our situation.

The job sites are supposed to help our students experience different work environments and possible employment opportunities. I wonder if they also walk away wondering what's wrong with some people.

Cheerio Adam!

Just got off the phone with my best friend. He's sitting at the airport waiting to board his flight to England. He's never enjoyed flying or been out of the country, as far as I know. He's heading over for a classic automobile race or something, and is anxious to drive on the 'wrong side of the road'.

I am so jealous.

Again?

Yet another high school friend of mine has announced on Facebook that they are soon to be a grandparent. I AM 35 YEARS OLD! Grandparents by the mid 30's? What is this the medieval times? Are we experiencing the dark ages all over again? Unbelievable.

Oh yeah, that reminds me. We're trying to plan a trip to the Renaissance Fair.

How I Wonder...

...About the huge dude sitting on the Orange Line Metro with a sweaty lip, Hawaiian shirt, and girly arm tats. Badly inked playboy bunnies, and naked ladies adorn each of his beefy forearms. His breathing is labored. His belly overwhelms his belt. He wears slip on loafers and his big calves are criss-crossed with spider veins. He does not seem healthy or happy. I wonder where he was in his life when he had the tattoos inked. What is his story?

The Week In Review

The cracked radiator was replaced by yours truly, and Adam, this past Sunday. We decided this was a repair we might be able to do on our own. (We've made that mistake before.) In this case it proved to be true. We bought the radiator, and did all of the labor ourselves essentially saving hundreds of dollars. The car seems to be running fine, and made it through the 1st week of my commute for the 2010-2011 school year without even the slightest twinge on the temperature gauge.

The school year has officially started and I have been relocated. Sort of. I'm still at the same school but because of staffing needs I have been traded to a different program. I am now working as a one to one for an older student who will be transitioning out of the school in the next few years. It is an interesting change of pace. My work day now has the added features of job sites 3 times a week, and more of a focus on independent living skills then on academics. I am excited to see how this year goes.

I was called in for a sudden audition at a local theatre company here in Annapolis. They were having a hard time casting their current show and my name had been thrown out there as some local talent worth checking out. I wasn't really interested in the beginning. [Since I've been in Maryland I have been really choosing my productions carefully. Gone are the days of auditioning left and right for numerous productions, and just crossing my fingers to work on a show, any show because I wanted to be on stage. Now I only audition when it's something I really want to work on.] I decided to audition for a few reasons.

1) It would've been an equity show. Union. Paid acting work.
2) Rehearsals would not have interfered with my other 2 jobs.
3) The director works for a professional theatre in the area Sara and I are hoping to relocate to soon.

So I auditioned not having read the script, and showing up without a headshot and a resume because I wasn't planning on auditioning 20 minutes prior to showing up. I had a pretty good audition. I didn't get it. They needed me to be available earlier in the day that was possible for me. I was strongly complimented, asked to audition in the future, and sent on my way.

Wednesday was a big old mess. The hostage situation in Silver Spring screwed up traffic patterns all around DC and it took me over 3 hours to get home from work that day. Fortunately, I now drive a coworker to work most days so his presence helps keep me relatively sane when I'm sitting in bumper to bumper traffic all damn afternoon. I know that I am coming across extremely self-absorbed to minimize the tragic events at the Discovery Channel building down to messing up my commute but that's what happened. Yes, several people were held hostage for many hours, and a man died but I was more upset by my personal inconvenience at the time. So what?

The rest of the week was fine. Hurricane Earl didn't affect us at all after all of the hubbub. 3 day weekend is here and Sara and I are sitting out on our porch drinking coffee and reading a book. We'll get to hang out with some family this weekend, enjoy the cooler weather, and maybe even see a free concert.

And We're Back.

Not even 3 hours back in the state and my cracked radiator gushes coolant all over the newly-paved driveway. Not the ideal homecoming.

Here are some of the highlights from our trip to Minnesota!

We all went to the Gausthaus to celebrate my In-Laws' 40th Wedding Anniversary on Sunday. Friends of theirs were playing out on the lawn so we sent out invites for people just to come and listen to the band and congratulate the couple. It was a beautiful day and lots of friends and family showed up to celebrate.

Then we headed of to visit the niece and nephew for a bit. Sara's brother and his family live in Stillwater, MN and we went to spend sometime with the family. Moraya is a charming little girl with a beautiful smile and Nathan is a whirling dervish. We giggled, we colored, we decorated the driveway with sidewalk chalk, and just enjoyed seeing each other. We went down by the river and enjoyed a small lunch, cotton candy ice cream and then rinsing off in the river.

On Tuesday, it was my Mother-In-Laws birthday. We met up in White Bear Lake and went to the beach. The lake apparently is losing water every year and the water level is drastically reduced. I didn't know. We waded out in the water, chased minnows, chased Nathan and had a mini-picnic on the beach.
Thursday we hit the state fair. The Minnesota State Fair! We wandered the fairgrounds for hours people-watching, snacking on fried foods, visiting agricultural attractions, thrill rides, and ate more food. It was quite the experience. Fried cheese curds are every bit as good as I have heard!
The rest of the time in Minnesota we hung at the Patsy family home/resort. I am a big fan of the pool/hot tub/sauna combination they have going on. We visited with family and friends as much as we could. Unfortunately we still missed a few here and there. We tried to jam as much into the week as we could. I always enjoy visiting the Land of 10,000 Lakes, and I will miss seeing that side of the family. We will try to make it back as soon as possible.

Off To Minnesota!

Sara and I fly out tomorrow to go up to the St. Paul/Minneapolis area. We're visiting the In-Laws for a Wedding Anniversary and a Birthday. I have not been back in awhile. Unfortunately, next week is the 1st week back to school for teachers. I'm supposed to be setting up our classroom and sitting through countless meetings before the kids come back. Instead I will play with the niece & nephew, steam in the sauna and float around in the pool. 1 last getaway before the school year starts.

Does The Head Count As A Killshot?

I think it does. In paintball, I mean. Today I tried paintball for the 1st time ever! It was a blast.

Friends of mine are getting married and in addition to all of the Wedding Events they decided to run a paintball game on Saturday morning. Matt, manages a Summer Camp and so has access to their facilities. I couldn't tell you the square yardage of the course, and I forget what kind of 'markers' (GUNS) we were shooting... um 'marking' with but I was running through the woods, and laying down a steady barrage of paint-filled capsules. The course was divided into 4 sections with various types of cover; tarps, wooden stick barriers, plank walls, and the canoes/tires area. The canoes/tires area was the toughest to penetrate, and always ended up being the defensive zone.

Now I have never served in the military but I've gone to a firing range or 2 in my day. I've never played paintball or even Laser Tag for that matter. I did play "WAR" when I was a kid - running through neighbors' yards, making ratatat noises with my mouth, and capturing enemy troops. It's not the same.

Today I was playing with some paintball veterans, plus the dude that designed the course, and then there was me and a few other newbies. I got a few kills. I took a few hits. I was shot in the head several times. (Thank you the creator of protective masks.) There was 1 shot in particular when I had a player pinned and was maneuvering for a better shot when he panicked stuck his muzzle in my general direction and fired off a volley of blind shots! I took a shot right between the eyes of my goggles. My whole world went yellow with a muffle splat!

I was on the losing side more than I was on the winning. I loved every second of it. Tonight at the rehearsal dinner 1 of the groomsmen came to chat me up, and he complimented me on my game play. He said I was a very 'brave' player. Translation = I don't have a shit ton of patience and got shot a lot for making brash decisions!

Passports Cost $, Don't They?

Here I am, 2 days into my 2nd week of vacation, or as I like to call it 'school is out but I have nowhere to be or go, and no money to get there anyway'. As I previously stated, money is tight. I've been sticking pretty close to home; walking the dog, watching some movies on DVD or netflix.com, reading a book or 2, and cleaning the house little by little. The days are starting to bleed together, the house resists my cleaning efforts at a more vigorous pace than I can keep, and the cabin fever is setting in.

This morning I cued up my netflix and watched The Motorcycle Diaries. Bad movie choice. EXCELLENT MOVIE! Unfortunately, it has just made me feel like more of a lump on a bump on a log. 2 men travel across South America on a crappy old motorcycle, on foot, boat, and even raft while I sit on my porch counting loose change so I can buy cheap beer. How very depressing? These young adventurers repeatedly wrecked, went with out food, walked many miles, and even spent time working at the San Pablo Leper Colony. They kept on going. They persevered. I get overwhelmed when it's time to pay monthly bills, or figure out how we're going afford to move closer to our jobs.

I should be on a motorcycle wandering the Andes. I should be actively struggling against adversity -

SHIT! I just overcooked some boiled eggs because I wasn't paying attention! I forget boiling eggs on the stove top all the time.

Where was I? Oh yes, feeling sorry for myself.

The truth is that I have traveled. I've been abroad on a few trips, out of the country even. A few weeks ago we took a road trip to Chicago. In a few weeks we'll be in Minnesota. It's not the same. I watch a movie like this and it makes me long for 'adventure'. It makes me want to broaden my horizons. Horizon broadening, at least when it comes to travel, cost more money than we currently have.

I get jealous when I see friends on Facebook posting pictures of their travels to Thailand, or Jamaica. I am envious when my best friend announces he'll be spending 6 days in England... that guy doesn't even like to fly! When my brother and his wife go to Peru to stay with her family I wish I could hide in his suitcase.

For years now we, Sara & I, have talked about going to the United Kingdom. I've always wanted to go back to Europe especially Spain. I hope one day to be able to take my wife traveling to exotic locals, bear witness to unbelievable sights, and meet interesting people but for now I am going to walk the dog, pay the rent, and make myself an egg salad sandwich.

Vacation So Far.

I've been on a hiatus from school for a few days now. Here's what has happened so far.

I'm broke as a joke. No joke. I haven't left the neighborhood in several days just because I am trying to conserve gas money. It sucks.

My landlords have hired a guy to do some repairs around the house. So far this week he's shown up each day and needed to be in my apartment for one odd job or the next at some point during the day. I don't like strangers in my space. I don't like home repairs when I'm trying to relax. 2 years ago my landlords chose my Spring Break to have the siding replaced. They're timing is uncanny, and extremely frustrating.!

I was able to, after a few set backs, access my writings on my computer and have begun trying to dust off some of the works in hopes of submitting them sometime in the next few weeks. I am trying to peck away on the keyboard as my computer limps along. I'm afraid it is not much longer for this world.

Whoo, vacation rocks!

I Have This Friend, Right?

He's separated and headed for a divorce after 14 years of marriage. Now, I know this isn't exactly unheard of but this case upsets me so because he is the nicest, most caring, and genuine person I know. We were college roommates many years ago and even though our lives took us down completely different paths we've tried to keep in touch. Whenever we chat on the phone or swap emails it is always abundantly obvious that he is still the same caring person I roomed with back at ECU. It also seems like we are able to just pick up where we left off last time.

A few days ago this very friend came to stay with Sara and I for an evening. He was visiting the Annapolis area on his 1st leg of a journey; a trip in which he tried to reconnect with old friends, and people that slipped by the wayside when he was trying to make his marriage work. He'd been in Naptown for a few days but had managed to split his time between several friends so as not to 'burden anyone too much'. Nice guy, right? He was so concerned with being a nuisance, and just wanted to spend some time with some people he cared about and vice versa.

Through the course of the evening - dinner, brief stop by a karaoke bar, and back at my house for a late night chat - he filled me in on his perspective of the marriage, and what life's been like for the last several years. I can't even imagine. I found myself getting worked up and angry at the way I perceived my friend to have been abused during his married life. Here's is someone who came to doubt his own self worth, and constantly blamed himself for the shortcomings in his relationship but the whole time the problem wasn't him. It was frustrating to hear how such a loving, accommodating person was neglected.

It was a good visit. We remembered old times, talked hopefully of the future, and just appreciated getting to hang out with each other again. We sent him on his way Saturday morning on his 2nd half of the trip. He ended up sitting in traffic for close to 9 hours for a trip that should've taken half the time. He'll spend some time with family on the coast of NC and then head back home to his 3 children, busy job, and newly single life. I hope one day he finds someone who will be worthy of his affection. He deserves it.

This Could Be A Photo Finish

It's definitely a sprint for the finish line; a 3 way battle. Who will crap out 1st? Our home computer or either one of our cars? The laptop's slowing down and the screen has been going for months now - this morning we finally lost 1 6th of our screen space. Sara's VW has been a lemon ever since we bought the thing. My CRV has had a good life but at almost 245,000 miles it's starting to get a little iffy. Stay tuned folks this one isn't over yet!

A Day Off

Today I woke up and started to get ready for work when I decided to check my facebook account and noticed that a fellow employee commented on getting the day off. What? I did some quick checking and it turns out that Montgomery County Schools activities are canceled for today! No School!

The storm yesterday was so powerful it knocked out power all over the DC Metropolitan area. There was a fatality related to the weather. Thousands are without power! I get an unexpected day off to clean the house for a visiting guest this weekend, read a little and walk my pooch. I should also make sure that my car is full of coolant because the radiator seems to be leaking again.

'Something's Missing'

This evening we attended a performance of my latest produced one act The Wrong Package. The one act is being produced as part of the Colonial Players of Annapolis' Singular Sensations One Act Play Festival. My script, among several other well-known, and original plays were put together for an entertaining 2 week run. The Wrong Package, directed by my friend Jacki was pretty well-received as it closed the 1st act of the night.

How did it go?

Well, 1st let me say that as a playwright whom had minimal involvement with the rehearsal it's always exciting, and nerve-wracking to see your script finally make it's way to the stage. I've always been happy that someone I know and trust was directing the play. Jacki gets my humor and understands where I'm coming from whenever we collaborate. The sound designer, however, is another story all together. Apparently, the sound person decided that the sound cue, music, that ends the show needed to come in earlier than it was written, and or director to be and so covered the last line of dialogue.

I think it's an important line.

Now I'm not one of those writers who takes themselves and their 'words' too seriously. I don't think. I understand that lines may be changed night by night in tiny little ways, or even misspoken. That happens. But when a playwright purposely book ends his script - begins and ends the show with the exact same line of dialogue - it is done for a purpose; it isn't an accident. Then again if a botched sound cue is my biggest complaint about the performance than I guess things could always be worse. I enjoyed seeing the characters come alive onstage, and I acknowledge the hard work and preparation that went into the production. I was pleased... except for the sound cue.

'Chi-Town, Baby!'

This past Thursday Sara and I got up at the crack of dawn and hit the road; Chicago Bound! One of her best friends from college was getting married and Sara was not only a bridesmaid but singing in the wedding as well. We made excellent time and arrived in the city just in time to sit in afternoon rush hour traffic on 90/94 but at least we had a great view of the city. We did make a small detour off of the PA Turnpike to visit the site of the World's Largest Big Mac, but that didn't affect our travel time too much.

We then got to Bert and Stephanie's apartment, in our old neighborhood, dropped off our bags, made a few calls and headed out for a tapas dinner at my old job, Cafe Ba Ba Reeba. It was delicious. It also helped that several of my old friends are still working there. A few hours later we were riding the EL Train back to the couch and a much needed good night's sleep.

Friday Sara and I went to an old neighborhood hang out for a cup of coffee and some breakfast. We just sat on the patio and watched the traffic go by as we enjoyed our scone and caffeine. A few hours later I dropped Sara off to take care of some Wedding errands, and I was given the rest of the day off. After driving back to the city - the hotel, and Wedding Reception where I left Sara was over an hour south of Chicago - I walked around the old neighborhood, visited a few haunts, and chilled out for a bit. Later on that evening I met up with some married friends and met their son, Logan, for the first time. He was a cool baby. Then I ran over to a nearby bar and visited with a buddy before Bert and Stephanie showed up for a few drinks. We toasted our mother after realizing that it was her birthday, and then went home and played their WII until the sun came up.

Saturday, I awoke a little worse for wear, and eventually worked my way into my suit, dragged my butt into the car and then drove over an hour west, out North Ave, to Oak Park, IL, and the Wedding. It was a beautiful church, Catholic ceremony...long, and Sara sounded amazing with her 2 songs. Soon our friends were husband and wife, and I got back into the car to drive over an hour south to the hotel. Then I took a 20 minute shuttle to the wedding reception. Needless, to say my patience was pretty thin at this point, and the wait at the bar did not help. However, it was a very important day for our friends so I had a few beer, let go of my tension, and danced the night away. I split my time between my lovely wife, and a 5 year old girl who thought I was an amusement park ride. Sara split her time between her tired husband and a pack of gay men who thought she was fabulous.

Sunday, we woke up, checked out and drove up to a White Castle! Hmmmmmm! Then we drove all the way back to the north side of the city. Bert and Stephanie had planned a cookout and some friends showed up and we just enjoyed a nice sunny day in Chicago. Sara and I really miss it. Several hours later, many Old Styles, and some quality time with the Bellas, friends, we went to bed dreading the long drive back.

So bright and early Monday morning we get up, pack the car and head out of the city. We stopped by our coffee shop and bumped into an old friend. Then we hit rush hour on Lake Shore Drive, and it was wonderful. I sit in traffic on the Beltway here in MD every day, but Lake Shore Drive as the sun's shining down on the lake, and the city is waking up was not so bad. Then we headed east! 15 hours later; after several traffic jams, pit stops, and, did I mention 15 cramped hours in a car?, we arrived home.

It's always hard leaving the Chicago; driving away and watching the skyline disappear into the background. It was a wonderful, jam-packed few days in a great city that we both love.

Well, Shit!

I wish I had a more eloquent title for this post. I don't!

Yes, today marks 1 year since my mother lost her battle with Cancer! 1 whole year! It's amazing to me that 365 days, yes that is 1 year folks, has passed. All this weekend I keep reliving that weekend, moments in the ICU, and being with my family as she passed away. The sting may have numbed a bit but the wound is still there.

Many things have happened in the last year, and it was not an easy year to get through. Slowly things are starting to improve job wise, 'life direction' wise, and 'moving on' wise. Unfortunately, were still in the shitter as far as the almighty dollar is concerned but that's probably going to be an ongoing battle for us so we're trying not to sweat that too much... it doesn't always work out that way.

Oh, and that play that I did back in February, 'Frozen', was completely overlooked today at the Ruby Griffith Awards! Actually, 2 plays that I have been in this past year were eligible today - 'Frozen' was supposed to be a sure thing but we did not win. Disappointing. I am not a big believer in awards but I had hoped for some recognition for this incredibly challenging play. I was more upset for the director who obviously had anticipated a win. We'll see if the show still gets the accolades it deserves.

F*#king Quack C*@ts!

I'm Not Avoiding My Blog.

I'm not. But this is going to be a hard time for me and my family. This weekend it'll be a year since mom died. Inside I feel as if I'm a reeling mess but outside I feel like I'm containing it pretty well.

Yesterday I took my students rock climbing at Earth Treks' and it was great. While we were there I got a call from one of my favorite cousins. I couldn't pick up because I was halfway up a rock face. Obviously I realized the call was from her after I got back to the ground, but anyway I knew why she was calling. She wanted to check in on me this weekend specifically.

Later on I called my father because Sara and I had thought that maybe he would like some company this weekend. Pops and I chatted for a bit and he's keeping busy this weekend with work, but he said Sunday afternoon he's going to just hang around the house and have some 'Suzie Time'. Sunday I will be in Frederick, MD at a theatre awards ceremony, and so will have to find my own way to have some 'Suzie Time' or, I dunno, maybe I'll just say some 'Mom Time'. ('FROZEN' the last theatrical production I was in is nominated for a Ruby Griffith Award.)

We'll make it through this weekend, obviously, but I'll have to wait and see how blog-friendly my thoughts will be over the next day or two.

4th Of July

Happy Birthday America! I will celebrate this weekend by sitting on the Chesapeake Bay, shooting off some fireworks, hanging out with family and picnics! Oh, and there will be beer, too and apparently tacky patriotic glitter messages!



Hi5, Xanga, Tagged, Blogger Comments @ 123glitter.com

Is This A Confusing Review?

So I'm not sure if it was the movie, Up In The Air, that made question career choices I've made in my life or just my complete absence of financial stability. I also was seized by wanderlust whilst watching the movie last night. So, just to reiterate - I thought it was a charming movie, but it did make me want to fly somewhere with the money I don't have from the careers that did not choose in my life.

My Fantasy Life

Recently I finished reading the 3rd and final book in the Watershed Trilogy. I read all 3 books back to back; 1,335 pages. It was quite the undertaking.

Now some people may not understand why a 35 year old man, such as myself, still reads sword & sorcery books. That's okay. I am only slightly embarrassed by my choice in science fiction/fantasy. When I lived in Chicago I would find ways to hide the dragon-themed, sword decorated front covers of the novels as I rode the EL through the city. Part of me was always nervous about somebody discovering my guilty pleasure and announcing it to the trainload of judgmental commuters. There was always the thought, too, that a group of D & D playing dorks would see the book in my hands and try to seduce me into their coven.

That being said I do enjoy reading the fantasy novels from time to time. This trilogy was epic, not quite on the Tolkien level but an engrossing read. I spent the last 2 and 1/2 months working my way through the adventures in the 3 novels. I may have sat in a hellish commute on my way home from work but once in my apartment I could always escape to the lands of the Watershed. I find that I stress out less about employment, debt, and life issues when I'm thumbing through a highly fanciful work of fiction. At times I prefer knights, and elves to the dragons and goblins of everyday life.

I've had the week off from work - I'm between semesters - and was able to finally finish the book. I've been splitting my time between straightening up the house, getting my car fixed, watching the World Cup, sitting on my butt, and reading Douglas Niles' fiction. Once school starts up again my reading opportunities will be a fewer and farther between, and I may not get to sit down with a good book for quite some time. Thanks to family gift certificates to bookstores, my library card, and my involvement with paperbackswap.com I will always have a retreat from the stressful task of being myself... at least temporarily.

Storm Watch

Last night Sara and I drove into Baltimore for the screening of yet another Running Storm Production. This time our film, 'Time In A Trash Can' was being screened as part of the 48 Hour Film Project: Baltimore at the Charles Theater.

This years film was challenging for the genre choice that I've mentioned in previous posts. Our time travel movie was kinda pieced together by myself and Dean, and then shot in a very hectic manner - at least from my perspective. At the end of the shoot, I have to admit that I was a bit nervous. I wasn't sure that we'd captured all the shots we'd needed. I didn't know if the story arc would be there once all of the footage was pieced together. Dean had seemed especially antsy and, several times appeared exhausted, during the filming for this project.

It turned out great! The quality of the editing, the feel of the film. Granted it's still a 48 hour festival so nothing is especially refined or spot on but this movie turned out surprisingly well. There our 4 groups of films being screened over 2 days. Ours was the last film in the very 1st group. It seemed to be well received, got some laughs and a big round of applause at the end. Also, the fact that it's the last film the audience saw should be a bonus. We'll see how the film does when the official results are released.

Father's Day (In 2 Parts)

Before - We're planning on heading down to North Beach to grill out with my dad, and Reb's family. We're going to celebrate Father's Day out on the dock, and have a little birthday party for Savannah, as well. That's the plan.

After - We just got back from our day on the Bay. It was hot and sunny but a beautiful day on the Chesapeake. We grilled out, and then had some cake and ice cream for the birthday celebration. Then I sat out on the dock and smoked a CAO America with my brother and just watched the boats sail by. I hope you had a good Father's Day, Pops.

Schools Out!

It's that time of year again. The school year is done. Students rushed out to their buses screaming, and smiling. The last week of school stretched into an eternity as the teachers struggled to maintain control, and the students realized that the teachers were at their wits end.

I looked back at my blog to see what I had written last year around this time and there was nothing. It's odd. Last year this time I was wrapping up what I thought was going to be my last year teaching. Sara and I had plans to move back to Chicago, and hoped by the end of the Summer to make that happen. I wrote nothing of this. I didn't mention leaving the School, granted I had planned to still work the Summer School session, but I didn't comment on leaving, or the students or even what I would do next. I don't know why.

Shortly after that my mother went back into the hospital and never came out again. My Summer was spent preparing for and then grieving the loss of my mom. I guess I didn't have time to focus on my feelings about leaving the School. Then, over the next 7 months or so I struggled to find a job, struggled to make money, struggled to get back on track. The plan to move back to Chicago was put on hold for the foreseeable future. Talk of grad school faded, washed away by a deluge of debt. Things didn't seem to be going our way.

Then I found my way back to teaching. Granted, I am not teaching drama and music as I was before but I was able to substitute in the classroom. Suddenly, I was Mr. Cobb again, and the students had missed me. Now I'm back to being a contracted employee, and working with students on a daily basis and most of the time it feels right. Money is still an issue. The commute is draining me and killing my car. The economy has snatched away my 2nd job, at least for the next few months, and I don't know what we're going to do to improve our situation. I guess we'll keep plodding along, and hoping for the best.

I'm happy to be back at the School. I'm happy to have a teeny tiny break, a week, before I have to go back and get ready for the Summer session. It will go by to fast and before you know it I'll be in the thick of things, halfway through the school year but I guess that's just how life goes.

It's All About Time

Yesterday, once again, I headed up to Charm City to work with my good buddy Dean on a submission film for the National 48 Hour Film Festival. This is my 7th collaboration with Running Storm Productions (6 Films and 1 Viral Video), and it's always an experience. This year we were thrown for a loop with the genre picks. Apparently out 1st pick was for a Western Or Musical. We gave up that pick for a Wild Card, and ended up with Time Travel or Doppelganger movie. Not what we were hoping for.

Friday night I was up til after 1 Am working on a treatment and discussing the project with Dean. He was up for another 6 hours turning my treatment into the script for our 8 Minute movie on Time Travel/Doppelgangers. I woke up early yesterday to review the script and then headed up to Baltimore for filming.

It was a long day. We got a late start. We filmed the exterior scenes 1st to avoid a rainy afternoon and then of course it never rained. So we spent the hottest hours of the day filming out in the sun, and then filmed our interior scenes during the afternoon. This project seemed to be a difficult one for everyone to visualize the final product and much time was spent trying to figure out difficult scenes, and logistics of the script. In the end we wrapped after 7PM, had some pizza and then left Dean to his editing.

It's funny though, last night when I got home from the shoot Back To The Future, which we briefly referenced in our film and often joked about on the set, was on TV. Today I get up and ABC Family is doing a Back To The Future marathon. Time travel has suddenly taken over my weekend. I am hopeful that Dean will be able to put together an amusing film from all of our footage. We will have to wait and see if the audience is as appreciative of our silly little film at the screening. I'll update you after the show.

Plaid Dogs Throughout Time

Last night we went to invited dress for Colonial Player's production of 'Dog Logic'. Tonight we took in 'Forever Plaid' at the Annapolis Summer Garden Theatre. Tomorrow, and some of tonight I will be dedicating to working on an original film for the National 48 Film Festival up in Baltimore. Our wild card selection of 'time travel or doppelganger' movie may throw a wrench into the works but we'll come up with something.

Lazy Day In Naptown.

Got the car worked on, did some light shopping, some light reading, and messed around with my camera phone.
This is supposed to be a panoramic view from my porch.

It Was A Bad Decision.

I should've known better. This little voice inside my head kept saying,"I'm not sure about this. Maybe you shouldn't." But I did!

I held those hamburger patties in my hand, noticing the odd color, and just an unhealthy appearance but I decided to grill them anyway. They were only a few days old, weren't they? Let's see. I bought the 4-pack of burger patties a week ago. Sara and I immediately grilled 2 burgers and ate them. I packed up the remaining burgers and threw them into the fridge to have a few days later. They should've been fine.

They weren't. I woke up Friday morning feeling sick to my stomach. I was in and out of the bathroom all morning. I kept burping up the burger all day as I fought off wave after wave of nausea, and a constant headache. Finally, around 3:30 yesterday Old Faithful blew. I rushed into the bathroom to vomit profusely and violently.

This has always been my problem with vomiting. I envy the casual regurgitator. I wish I was one of those fortunate souls who simply, and gracefully spit up the contents of their stomach, then go about their day. I am not. When I puke I end up on my knees, heaving, and shaking. The force with which I vomit has been known to pop blood vessels in my eyes, and I wake up the next day with sore abdominals. I'm also not very accurate with my aim when I throw, so it was not a pretty sight. Luckily all of the students had gone home for the day so no one was around to witness me cleaning the bathroom stall, or rinsing out my beard at the sink.

I then sat in traffic for almost 2 hours, came home, crawled in bed and slept for several hours. When I did wake up I had a persistent headache, couldn't really eat anything and was pretty much a bump on a log all night long as Sara kept the ginger ale flowing. We did not have an exciting Friday night.

I Bought A Purple Ruffle!

Memorial Day Weekend is over too soon. It just flew by. Friday through Monday evening are one big blur. Bumming around the house watching movies. Shrimpfeast in North Beach. Chillin' on my folks' dock. Swimming in the Severn. CAO America. Drinks at Mangia's to maybe say goodbye to a friend. Now it's over.

It's Tuesday morning, I'm fresh from the shower and I am anticipating an average morning commute of 'too long'. I do own a new basil plant, however. It was an impulse buy in North Beach. It's purple! I already own a basil plant; a Mammoth Basil but I thought the purple one was kinda cool. Did I need another basil plant? Sure, why not?

The niece & nephew were curious about the purple basil. I nibbled on one of the leaves and then let them split a leaf. Apparently, they really liked it because after that they wanted to pick my Ruffle clean. The nephew also thought it was funny that my middle name is an herb.

Today I Did Stay In Bed.

I took the day off. I slept in for several hours. I relaxed on the porch with a book and some coffee. Sara and I cooked lunch then went down to the beach and watched the Blue Angels practicing maneuvers over the Severn River. In the evening I met friends and attended a musical performance that Sara was a part of. I didn't accomplish anything of major importance today. I haven't solved any of life's little riddles. I didn't make any major changes in my philosophy, lifestyle, or opinions on adulthood. It's been a lazy day - a much needed lazy day.

I Should've Stayed In Bed!

Tootsie crawled up from beneath the sheets and started licking my cheek, and then neck. I slowly opened my eyes, irritated, and I glanced at the clock. It read: 6:59. I grumbled at the dog for waking me up before my alarm! Wait a minute, I normally get up at 6:00 AM... what did the clock say? 6:59 AM! Oh no, it's an hour later than I thought!! I've somehow slept through my alarms, or turned all 4 of them off without knowing it and gone back to sleep. I fly out of bed, run through the shower, and jump in my car only to sit in traffic for an hour and a half. It didn't get better.

At school I rushed around looking for coffee to kill my caffeine headache, my short fuse ran out at 9:30, and the students were in rare form - the cycle of the moon always screws everything up! I grit my teeth through a stressful school day, blew my stack with an hour and a half left of class, and then sat through an excruciatingly long meeting. Then I rushed off to my Tuesday afternoon group where my non-existent patience was sorely needed. I made a student cry.

Then I jumped into my car and drove to Fairfax to meet my brother at a funeral home for a viewing. A childhood friend of mine, whom I have not spoken to or seen in years, passed away last week from Cancer! He was younger than me, and is survived by a wife and 2 children. I found out about his death on Sunday and decided that we should go to the viewing.

I remember this friend fondly from our swim team days, cub scout meeting, elementary school classes, and numerous sleepovers! It's been surreal. I saw his mother at the memorial service for my Mom back in July. I can't remember if I knew that he'd been battling colon cancer. Recently they discovered it had invaded his body to an alarming degree. It was everywhere. He went quickly. I only heard about through the grapevine this past weekend. He'd been dead for 3 days.

At the funeral home the room was packed when we showed up and apparently Catholics need to say 1,000,001 Hail Maries at such an event. I stood in the back of the packed room for an eternity as the crowd mumbled in unison. Finally, the crowd broke up and it was possible to move through out the room. Oh, and I didn't realize it would be an open casket! He didn't look real. He looked like a wax figure - his hands, the thin face, and the make up. I wasn't prepared.

The family thanked us for coming. Reb and I bumped into childhood acquaintances, old friends, and familiar faces. Wouldn't you know it several people even offered us condolences on the death of our Mother. Out in the parking lot a woman approached us yet again to chat us up about Mom. She got a little emotional. This has been a strange day.

Ugh!

Lazy Saturday morning spent checking my email, listening to CHIRP Radio, reading a book, and dreading my night shift that looms ahead in a few hours. I meant to put in my notice weeks ago. I'm back to being a salaried employee at the school, and working part time at a Speech Therapy office during the week so I don't really need the low-paying, highly aggravating serving job, you know?

I'm a big believer in the bullshit to money ratio! If there's a high level of bullshit to deal with at a job then there should be a comparably high amount of money to be made whilst dealing with said bullshit. Needless to say this has not been the case. The $50-$60 that I make on average at the restaurant is not worth my time. This will be my last shift.

Has It Been 8 Years?

The answer is Yes! It has been 8 years to the day, Mother's Day, that I found out that my mother had been diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer. Luckily I had 7 more Mother's Days with her in my life. Today is the 1st one since she passed away last July. It hasn't been an easy weekend... or year for that matter.

I'm not sure how this grieving process is supposed to work. It's been 10 months and I miss her everyday. I'm pretty sure that is normal. Somedays I obviously miss her more than others. Today I really miss her.

A day to honor and appreciate mothers and I no longer have mine in my life to give a card to, hug, or even just call to chat with her. She loved the cards - I often gave her 2; a serious one and one that would make her laugh. I was even tempted to buy a card this year just because. I didn't.

Sara and I drove to Reston, VA yesterday to take part in the 8th Annual Northern Virginia Race & Walk To "Break the Silence" On Ovarian Cancer. It was beautiful day for the event. It rained early on before the race but then cleared up in time for the event. Several years ago this was the 1st Cancer Walk that we did with Mom, and it's still a day I remember very fondly. I thought it appropriate that Sara and I honor my mother on this weekend by walking in her honor.

I enjoy the various Cancer Walks that we participate in. They're often events that we do with our family. This particular event is one that is important to me. Yesterday it was just Sara and I. We both felt Mom's absence, but were warmed by our memories of her as the sun shone down on the multitude of people walking for the cause. I will hope to continue this Mother's Day tradition for as long as we are able to take part. It helps me.

Happy Free Comic Day!

I heard the same joke, if you can call it that - maybe it's more of a witticism, 6 different times in the space of a half an hour. Apparently,in addition to the free comics and sale, there were Storm Troopers, a la Star Wars, making an appearance at the comic book store. They'd left a few hours earlier because of the heat and their costumes. 6 separate times someone said something to the effect of, 'It's so much hotter than this on Tatooine!' or 'Well, they'd never be able to hack it on Tattoine!' I guess it's a true statement...

It's been a good day. Got some free comics with the niece and nephew, went to the playground, walked around Naptown, ate out at the Sly Fox, got some soft serve, cleaned some soft serve off of the niece and nephew and just got home to crack open a beer and relax out on the porch with my pooch.

So...

... the Baysox lost 9-7, they never led in this game although they did rally several times to make it interesting. It was chilly, in the 50's, and cold fingertips make for interesting trips to the restroom. I won some scratch off tickets - there all duds. There were not many people at the game, and one slightly intoxicated fan's heckling of the visiting team could clearly be heard from every seat in the stadium. Apparently it was his birthday.

Happy Birthday To Me!

Today I am 35 years old... or as my wife put it when she gave me my birthday presents, 'halfway to 70'. Wow! This one snuck up on me. I don't care about being 35, I don't think, but it starts to bother me that I don't plan for birthdays, holidays or special events. I am constantly 'surprised' when the actual day arrives. I feel as if I've said, "I can't believe it's already (FILL IN HOLIDAY OR SPECIAL EVENT). I completely forgot about it this year", more in the past few months than ever before! Now, I know it's practically impossible to forget your own birthday but you get the gist. It's hard to believe that it's already here.

I don't know why that is. I've never really cared about getting older, not that I know of. I mean, maybe there's a small part of me that is counting the years as they click by and is growing increasingly concerned about my inability to - how should I put it? - get ahead? grow up? be self sufficient? figure shit out? I don't know. Sometimes I don't feel like I'm very good at being an adult.

Or maybe it has more to do with missing my mother. This has been a year of firsts for our family, including those birthdays, holidays, and special events that I mentioned earlier. I suppose it is only natural to think of her and miss her, a little more so, on these days. She hasn't been very far from my thoughts all day.

Regardless of the reason, my birthday has crept up on me, and today is that day. So far, I have received several cards, +50 Facebook messages, numerous well wishes, a gift certificate to Audible.com, a White Bear Lake shirt, a dvd, and a well timed delivery of a book I ordered online: The Woman Who Wouldn't. Thank you paperbackswap.com. Tonight I plan on attending a Baysox game with the wife, best friend, and my father. Hopefully, it will be a fun game.

I May Be Losing My Mind!

(This is one of our classroom computers. I spend a good percentage of the day sitting at the computer - besides the obvious uses it is a good vantage point for observing all of the students in our class.)

A few days ago I lost my water bottle; an aluminum twist on cap sort of bottle. I always have it nearby at work or in my car. I do my best to keep the kidneys hydrated.

Then suddenly it was gone. I remember filling it up and returning to class. Several minutes later it was missing. I searched that classroom high and low repeatedly. I had resigned to swing by target today and get a replacement.

(This is where I found my water bottle today. I couldn't believe it had been there all week.)

Book Recommendation

Recently I listened to the audio book THE GLASS CASTLE by Jeanette Walls. I enjoy a good memoir every now and again.

This book was fascinating on so many levels. It's the story of a young woman who grew up in a rootless family, with two self-absorbed, and unreliable parents. I was amazed by the candor in which she told her story. She described the family picking up and leaving town in the middle of the night on several occasions, she wrote of the many times the children in the family went hungry because the father spent the grocery money of hooch, and she told about her struggle to rise above the poverty and make something of herself.

It was an inspirational story. It was a frustrating story. There were moments when I wanted to throw the audio book out of my car window and into rush-hour traffic. The level of the selfishness that the Walls parents displayed, the eccentric self-centered neglect of their children, and the repeated disappointments and heartaches suffered by the children. I don't want to go into too much detail, in case you would like to read the book yourself, but suffice it to say I was disgusted at times, but always intrigued.

1st Baysox Game of the Season!

It was a beautiful Spring afternoon so Reb and I decided to take in a Baysox game with the kids! We were unaccompanied by our wives and so the rules might've been a little lax! Bennett and Savannah seemed to enjoy themselves.



It was a great game! The Bowie Baysoxbeat the Richmond Flying Squirrels 4-1, and I only got a small sunburn on my forearms!

Random Encounters

- I was walking down the hallway of school with a student and there were a few visitors touring the school. One of the visitors extended her hand to touch me on the arm and said, 'Ty? You're Ty, right? Cobb? I worked with your mother.'

- A former co-worker comes in for dinner at the restaurant with her HOT mom, and through the course of the meal we discuss my work with special education. Turns out the mom works in special ed as well, and lives in Bowie, oh and, 'I knew your mother. I worked with your mother many times over the years. We actually lived down the street from you.' I had no idea.

- An audience member approaches me after a performance and says, 'Hi Ty. You don't remember me but I'm Old Swimming Friend of Your Brothers'. I admit to remembering the woman, and then we chit chat about the show, and life in general. The whole time I'm wondering if she knows about mom passing away, if her father, whom we knew, is still alive, and if I should bring it up if the opportunity presents itself. It didn't.

-A large party comes into the restaurant for a birthday celebration. I start at one end of the table taking entree orders and a one of the guests, a woman says, 'Ty?' I look up and smile and say yes, knowing that my name tag often prompts diners to call me by my first name. In this case it turns out the the guest is one my mother's sorority sisters and her husband is there too. I hadn't seen the two of them since we all walked together on Team Sue during a Cancer Walk back in November.

I'm telling you this happens all the time. I'm just walking down the hall, or working a shift at the restaurant or whatever and someone will approach me and start chatting me up about my mother. It's been 9 months since she passed away, and these encounters will still throw me up into head and start me on a weird mental journey. There's always the pleasantness of hearing people praise my mother, but then it sours a little when I start to think about life 'post-ma'.

A Basket Full Of Rotten Eggs!

This weekend, so far, has been a complete bust! Crappy shifts at the restaurant, and very little money to show for it! Tax woes that tripled within one afternoon. Fights with the wife over (what else?) money!

I just want this Spring Break to be over so I can go back to work, figure out what I'm doing for a job in the future, and hope to, at least, be able to start paying off, chipping away at this new debt that seems insurmountable! I know it could always be worse. I realize that many people have much more debt, and bigger problems than we do but right now it doesn't really matter.

Some people see this time of year as something to celebrate. This holiday weekend some people are grateful for what they believe and look forward to warm days ahead. On this day when many people are celebrating the resurrection of a messiah, and the cute twitchings of a generous bunny all I can do is bemoan my bad tidings, and picture a zombie carpenter biting the head off of an opportunistic, greedy, floppy-eared henchman of Hallmark!

Not The Funniest Spring Break!

Or maybe I just don't feel that funny today, on April 1st. April Fools Day! There are certain people that would expect me to whip up a funny prank today and I'm sorry to disappoint. I woke up today and realized that I don't think I have it in me.

So far this Spring Break has consisted of me getting to sleep in a little (Yay), work a few nights at the restaurant (Boo), read a little (Yay), drink some beer (Yay), and stress about our taxes (Boo). It's not an exotic or exciting vacation by any stretch of the imagination.

It could be worse. Last year my landlords chose this week to have the siding on our house replaced and I had to wake up early every morning to the sound of hammers. Every Morning!

It could be better. Two years ago Sara and I spent our Spring Break on our honeymoon. We flew to San Francisco for a few days, and then spent some time up in wine country! I would love to go back.

So I'm sitting at my computer disappointed that I didn't plan for April Fools, disappointed that it rained for half of my Spring Break, and disappointed that we aren't sitting on the beach somewhere. Oh well, I guess it's time to turn this frown upside down. It looks beautiful outside. So maybe I'll take the Toot for a long walk, then drive downtown for lunch with a friend, and if I am feeling like spoiling myself maybe I'll get a nice cigar and sit out in the sun for a bit. I could try and pretend I'm someplace tropical.

You Say Inconvenience/I Say Inconvence

Actually, you respond to my little typo but claiming that what I referred to as an 'inconvenience' my initial email is actually so much more and that, no, there is not a job for a person with my training and experience at your school. Then, and here's the part I can't figure out, how does one go about attaching a venomous rejection, a spit in the eye, and a swift kick in the nuts to an email? Ouch!

It Helps With The Commute.

I've started back on the audio books. I'm working on the other side of the Beltway again and wrestling with an annoying, sometimes overwhelming commute. The audio books help pass the time, as does the satellite radio when my receiver is working. When it isn't I upload books on cd to my new phone which serves as an MP3 player and I escape the commute as best I can.

The funny thing about audio books is the narrator. A good narrator can make or break a book. In the past I've listened to some Isaac Asimov books in which the narrator's voices for women seemed to distract from the story. I'm sure he was trying his best but I couldn't invest in the female characters because their voices were so odd.

I just finished listening to 'A Wrinkle In Time' narrated by none other than the author, Madeleine L'Engle. This woman's voice, I can only compare to nails on a chalkboard whilst red hot pokers are being slowly shoved up the anuses of a million alley cats during a tone-deaf diva's aria in an opera performed in the bowels of Hell! Her voice was torture; unbelievably shrill, stilted, and she has the lisp where it sounds like her tongue is stapled to the roof of her mouth! I would step out of my car after my morning commute and have a headache because her voice had cause me to clench my jaw the entire ride. I wasn't sure I would make it through the 5 discs of the book but I did. Some of my students are reading the book in class and I thought how fun it would be to be able to talk with them about it. Unfortunately, now I have less of an appreciation for the book which I remember liking as a child and I can't get that harpy's squawking out of my head.

Not Really A Book Review

I recently picked up MOM'S CANCER at the library. The title, for obvious reasons, jumped out at me as I was walking by the shelf. A graphic novel of sorts, created from many different comic strips about the author's mother's battle with lung Cancer. The story covers every step along the way from diagnosis, to treatment, to recovery and all of the stages of hope, uncertainty and doubt that bombard a family dealing with Cancer. I enjoyed reading it and was a little sad to finish the book. Although the sadness could have been because the book made me miss my own mother.