Too Funny

Here's a link to a really humorous post on my friends blog that I somehow missed until today.

http://seussisontheloose.blogspot.com/2005/11/some-random-facts-about.html

Chuck Norris Rocks!

Home Sweet... Aw, Crap!

greeted by freezing wind & snow flurries
a gray sky
gloomy days
silence

back there?
63 degrees
sunshine
warm hugs & caring words
a small child laughing

What Kind Of Fish Is That?

"It's one of those 'blowed up' fishes. Look ain't it one of those blowed up fishes? It looks like it's all blowed up. Look boys, a real live 'blowed up' fish."

Apparently the National Aquarium in Baltimore was unaware of their own mistake in identifying one of their exibits. The Northern Puffer Fish is actually a 'blowed up' fish, despite what a few clearly marked and visible signs may declare . Just so you know.

R.I.P Miyagi San!

It truly is a sad day... Pat Morita is dead.

Happy Turkey Day!!!!

Chilling on the East Coast, eating too much, drinking at a good pace, wrestling with the nephew, watching some football as the waves roll by. Hope you and yours are having a good day, too.

Might be time for a cold turkey sandwich! Mmmmmmmmmmmmm!

"Mother Embarrasses Teenage Daughter"

http://aolsvc.news.aol.com/news/article.adp?id=20051116141509990001

So, apparently, this mother in Oklahoma got fed up with her daughter's slipping grades, and behavior in school. She decided to do something to try and turn her daughter around. She made her daughter stand on a street corner wearing a sign that read: "I don't do my homework, and I act up in school, so my parents are preparing me for my future. Will work for food."

Some witnesses were horrified, one motorist even reported psychological abuse, while others applauded the mother's ingenuity.

The girl was completely embarrassed, and has started doing her homework.

Big Deal! That's what parents are for! I can't tell you how many times my mother shamed me as a teenager, whether it was the time she left out a 'Delayed Puberty' article for me to read and my older brother found it, or the countless times she told horrific, personal childhood stories to the girls in my youth group. When you're a teenager everything you parents do has the potential to send you running from the room screaming, "I hate you! I hate you! I can't believe you would do this to me! When I have kids I'll never treat them this way! I can't wait for the day when I can leave this house and never come back. You'll be sorry!"

When I think of all the signs my mother never hung on me, I breathe sigh of relief. I can just see myself standing of to the side of the Baltimore/ Washington Parkway with a posterboard that reads, 'I doodle in my notebook, fall asleep in class, read comic books instead of Twain, spend hours upon hours in the bathroom 'getting to know myself', and I talk back to my parents. I'm a teenager.'

And for all the people who are angered by this mother's actions... relax! There's worse things in this world than a mother who worries about her daughter's wellbeing. I think if anyone should be upset it's those people with the 'Will Work For Food' Signs who always did there homework, and were model students when they were in school. What about them, huh?

Another Round?

kitten on your hip-

kitten above each artificial knocker-

chinese letters scrawled horizontally across your mystic tanned shoulders-

2 names on your fore arms ( your daughters)-

floral print bikini and a less than pleasant persona

'Triple D Team Reporting For Duty'

What are your drink specials?

Sometimes...

I miss home...



My girlfriend brought this home from some function at work. The Maryland flag, some Black-Eyed Susans, and a can of Old Bay seasoning. She saw the centerpiece and knew that it would make me smile. It does.

Funkedy Funk Funk!

I'm waiting. Waiting for what? Good question.

Several weeks ago I submitted several scripts to various theatre companies, and writing contests. Now there is nothing to do but wait and see what happens. Some of the contests might take months to notify me, and some of the theatre companies probably won't ever let me know what they thought of my writing. So what am I waiting for?

Idiots!

"Hey, why don't we go out with 15 of our closest friends for dinner and, wouldn't it be great if no one bothered to bring cash?"

"Can you split the check 9 ways?"

"We need $90 on this card... $90 on this card... $30 on these 3 cards and $17.95 on this Discover..."

"What do you mean you don't have Corona? Aren't you a Mexican restaurant? Spanish Restaurant... Oh... what's the difference? Oh... I see... do you have Chips & Salsa?"

Hmmmm?

So I'm walking home from work with a six-pack in my bag, and 2 guys with Jews For Jesus T-shirts hand me a flyer, which I absentmindedly take, and say, "Jesus loves you, brother!"

I reply, "Jesus? Can't say I know the guy. I do know a couple of Jesuses* ... They work with me. My homies!"

I couldn't help but wonder... Is there, somewhere out there in this crazy world, someone with a Jews For Jesus T-Shirt.

*I'm not sure what the plural form of Jesus is. For that matter, what is the plural of Jesus? Is it like fungus which becomes fungi? Would I say, 'I do know a couple of Jesi? These are the thoughts that keep me up at night.

A Bad Rap

Why does the word 'Soupy' have such a negative connotation? I don't get it. If something is said to be 'Soupy' it just means that it has the consistency of soup, characteristics of soup, or appears to be Soup-Like. What's wrong with that?

I like soup... I love soups... All kinds... Brothy... Chunky... Creamy... Canned...

Sometimes there is nothing more satisfying than a big bowl of piping hot soup, and a sleeve full of crackers! It seems unfair to me that 'Soupy' has become such a villainous term. How very cruel.

I wonder how many other words out there have been similarly besmirched, and cheapened by narrow-minded consumers. (How great a word is 'Besmirched' though?)