Today I Did Stay In Bed.

I took the day off. I slept in for several hours. I relaxed on the porch with a book and some coffee. Sara and I cooked lunch then went down to the beach and watched the Blue Angels practicing maneuvers over the Severn River. In the evening I met friends and attended a musical performance that Sara was a part of. I didn't accomplish anything of major importance today. I haven't solved any of life's little riddles. I didn't make any major changes in my philosophy, lifestyle, or opinions on adulthood. It's been a lazy day - a much needed lazy day.

I Should've Stayed In Bed!

Tootsie crawled up from beneath the sheets and started licking my cheek, and then neck. I slowly opened my eyes, irritated, and I glanced at the clock. It read: 6:59. I grumbled at the dog for waking me up before my alarm! Wait a minute, I normally get up at 6:00 AM... what did the clock say? 6:59 AM! Oh no, it's an hour later than I thought!! I've somehow slept through my alarms, or turned all 4 of them off without knowing it and gone back to sleep. I fly out of bed, run through the shower, and jump in my car only to sit in traffic for an hour and a half. It didn't get better.

At school I rushed around looking for coffee to kill my caffeine headache, my short fuse ran out at 9:30, and the students were in rare form - the cycle of the moon always screws everything up! I grit my teeth through a stressful school day, blew my stack with an hour and a half left of class, and then sat through an excruciatingly long meeting. Then I rushed off to my Tuesday afternoon group where my non-existent patience was sorely needed. I made a student cry.

Then I jumped into my car and drove to Fairfax to meet my brother at a funeral home for a viewing. A childhood friend of mine, whom I have not spoken to or seen in years, passed away last week from Cancer! He was younger than me, and is survived by a wife and 2 children. I found out about his death on Sunday and decided that we should go to the viewing.

I remember this friend fondly from our swim team days, cub scout meeting, elementary school classes, and numerous sleepovers! It's been surreal. I saw his mother at the memorial service for my Mom back in July. I can't remember if I knew that he'd been battling colon cancer. Recently they discovered it had invaded his body to an alarming degree. It was everywhere. He went quickly. I only heard about through the grapevine this past weekend. He'd been dead for 3 days.

At the funeral home the room was packed when we showed up and apparently Catholics need to say 1,000,001 Hail Maries at such an event. I stood in the back of the packed room for an eternity as the crowd mumbled in unison. Finally, the crowd broke up and it was possible to move through out the room. Oh, and I didn't realize it would be an open casket! He didn't look real. He looked like a wax figure - his hands, the thin face, and the make up. I wasn't prepared.

The family thanked us for coming. Reb and I bumped into childhood acquaintances, old friends, and familiar faces. Wouldn't you know it several people even offered us condolences on the death of our Mother. Out in the parking lot a woman approached us yet again to chat us up about Mom. She got a little emotional. This has been a strange day.

Ugh!

Lazy Saturday morning spent checking my email, listening to CHIRP Radio, reading a book, and dreading my night shift that looms ahead in a few hours. I meant to put in my notice weeks ago. I'm back to being a salaried employee at the school, and working part time at a Speech Therapy office during the week so I don't really need the low-paying, highly aggravating serving job, you know?

I'm a big believer in the bullshit to money ratio! If there's a high level of bullshit to deal with at a job then there should be a comparably high amount of money to be made whilst dealing with said bullshit. Needless to say this has not been the case. The $50-$60 that I make on average at the restaurant is not worth my time. This will be my last shift.

Has It Been 8 Years?

The answer is Yes! It has been 8 years to the day, Mother's Day, that I found out that my mother had been diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer. Luckily I had 7 more Mother's Days with her in my life. Today is the 1st one since she passed away last July. It hasn't been an easy weekend... or year for that matter.

I'm not sure how this grieving process is supposed to work. It's been 10 months and I miss her everyday. I'm pretty sure that is normal. Somedays I obviously miss her more than others. Today I really miss her.

A day to honor and appreciate mothers and I no longer have mine in my life to give a card to, hug, or even just call to chat with her. She loved the cards - I often gave her 2; a serious one and one that would make her laugh. I was even tempted to buy a card this year just because. I didn't.

Sara and I drove to Reston, VA yesterday to take part in the 8th Annual Northern Virginia Race & Walk To "Break the Silence" On Ovarian Cancer. It was beautiful day for the event. It rained early on before the race but then cleared up in time for the event. Several years ago this was the 1st Cancer Walk that we did with Mom, and it's still a day I remember very fondly. I thought it appropriate that Sara and I honor my mother on this weekend by walking in her honor.

I enjoy the various Cancer Walks that we participate in. They're often events that we do with our family. This particular event is one that is important to me. Yesterday it was just Sara and I. We both felt Mom's absence, but were warmed by our memories of her as the sun shone down on the multitude of people walking for the cause. I will hope to continue this Mother's Day tradition for as long as we are able to take part. It helps me.

Happy Free Comic Day!

I heard the same joke, if you can call it that - maybe it's more of a witticism, 6 different times in the space of a half an hour. Apparently,in addition to the free comics and sale, there were Storm Troopers, a la Star Wars, making an appearance at the comic book store. They'd left a few hours earlier because of the heat and their costumes. 6 separate times someone said something to the effect of, 'It's so much hotter than this on Tatooine!' or 'Well, they'd never be able to hack it on Tattoine!' I guess it's a true statement...

It's been a good day. Got some free comics with the niece and nephew, went to the playground, walked around Naptown, ate out at the Sly Fox, got some soft serve, cleaned some soft serve off of the niece and nephew and just got home to crack open a beer and relax out on the porch with my pooch.