Here's The 411

I am not a phone person.
I don't think I ever was.
I use the phone to make quick calls, let people know where I am, and maybe to pay a bill or two.
I don't ever just get on the phone to shoot the breeze or kill time.
So don't take it personally if I get off the phone abruptly once I realize you have nothing to say.
Oh, and if I'm short with you - I don't mean to offend - I'm five minutes away, I'm coming over, can't you wait until I get there to tell me your interesting story or ask me your crucial question?
Thank Gawd for voice mail.

* This post was not directed to anyone in specific but if you are offended, family members of mine, feel free not to call me and tell me about your feelings. Thanks.

Let's Go O's

Took our father to Camden Yards for Father's Day even though I am told he's now a Nationals Fan.
It was fun to go back to the stadium. I haven't seen an Orioles' game in Baltimore since before I moved to Chicago in 1998. I always tried to see the Orioles whenever they came through the Windy City to play the White Sox, but it's just not the same.
We lost. Oh well, I don't know why I thought our presence and my rally cap would end the 7 Game losing streak.

Not My Proudest Moment

Today I offered my 3 year old nephew a quarter if he'd punch my little brother in the nuts. He did. He got in trouble. He swung a second time and almost got a spanking. It was all my doing, and I have to admit it brought a smile to my face.

What? Don't judge me! Little bastard got one whole shiny quarter for his troubles.

Sad But True

She said to me, "Where I grew up, in a small town in Iowa there was such a thing as the 'honor system'."

"Yeah, I think I've heard of that," I respond, "It's buried in a cemetery somewhere right between 'respect for your elders' and 'chivalry'."

Another coworker just shakes her head and laments, "It's true. Sad, but true."

Did I leave the coffee on?

One of the many things I have inherited from my mother and father, besides a good work ethic, respect for most others, and a love of Hush Puppies (The food not the shoes), may be a little senility. Now, I'm not talking about full blown dementia or anything, but just a tiny smattering of forgetfulness, silly little eccentricities, forgetfulness and sometimes I repeat myself, oh, and I may forget things from time to time.

Did I leave the water in the sink running. (Sometimes I do.)

Where the hell did I put my checkbook? (Always in a place where I'm sure I'll remember it.)

Did I just drive to work in my slippers? (Even today.)

Did I leave the coffee on? (This gets me every day.) Even if I have turned it off I can never fully remember switching the pot to the off setting. Sometimes I obsess about the oven... even if I haven't baked anything in weeks. I'll be half way to work and wonder about the oven or the coffee pot and start to worry. I'll worry for 2 hours... then I'll forget about it and start rummaging around for my checkbook.

You Can Catch More Flies With Honey Than You Can Being A Snatch!

I mean, honestly, your manners - What finishing school did you attend? Not to mention your lack of professionalism. Your attitude sucks, your social skills are atrocious, and your telephone demeanor is god awful - It's a good thing you're not the first impression people get of the school when they walk in the front door... oh, wait a minute... you are.

Last Day Of School

Yippeeee!



All I have to do is get through the day. We're watching a movie right now. Then we'll have lunch, maybe go outside afterwards. Soon after that we may watch another movie and then it'll be time to go home.



C'mon 2 o'Clock!

2nd To The Last Day Of School

"Okay, let's look at our schedule for today.

• First we had breakfast. Breakfast is finished.
• Now we are doing Opening.
• After Opening we will go outside for some free time.
• After free time we will go inside for some... um, er... free time.
• When free time is finished we will have even more free time.
• First free time, then Lunch.
• After lunch we will have free time and then maybe watch a movie.
• After the movie it will be time to go home."

I still have one more day of school to fill with free time and other various activities. This last week has lasted a semester already.

In other news, I got my tentative class assignment for Summer school. I'll have two of my students, the 'interesting' two, and five kids from the secondary autism class. I love the secondary class but a few of these kids are like six feet tall and 250lbs. I hope I don't have to change their diapers.

I Could Never Be Hunter...

I just hooked a turtle while fishing with my nephew and it's gonna bug me all day. The poor little turtle wriggling and snapping as we tried to pull the hook out of its mouth. I hope I don't have nightmares.

But that doesn't make me less of a man, does it? I'm still tough. I drink beer! I look at girlie mags! I have a beard! I'm a man's man... does that sound gay? I'm a dude!

Poor Sweet Little Turtle:(

Family, Crabs, Remote Control & A Baklava Sundae

Friday night was my mother's retirement party. I was amazed to see all of the people who attended to show their support for my mother. Co-workers, friends, family members, and various others. Everyone was their for one reason and one reason only - To Celebrate My Mother.

There were touching stories, tributes, and a slide show. My mother cried several times even though she insisted that no one should cry because it was a celebration. It was a fun time.

On Saturday we all got together at my parents' house and had a cookout/crabfeast. Aunts and Uncles, Nieces and Nephews, and the children running around like maniacs. I bought a little Dragon Kite to fly for my nephew. It ended up in the bay. I fished it out but it was lame having lost a leg.

On Sunday I went to a picnic - it was a lovely day for a picnic, wasn't it? - to meet a group of young boys with whom I will be working over the Summer. It's a class to teach young children with disabilities to converse with others, and develop social skills. The boys were pretty nice, and they asked me to play Remote Control. Basically, you sit in the circle and someone has a remote control. When they point it at you and say, "Click", you have to start performing a TV show, commercial, news report, etc. When they lose interest or want to move on to the next person they say, "Click" and you have to stop. One of the boys, an Animal Planet Fanatic, kept doing documentary style introductions about lush tropical forests, fierce predators, and the clouded leopards named Ty. This Summer should be interesting.

We finished off the weekend by attending a GreekFest at a Church near my brother's house. We got in at the tail end of celebration and there was no Ouzo left, but we did enjoy some Spanikopita, Pasticcio, and a Baklava Sundae that was very popular with the nephew. The pouring rain didn't damper our adopted Grecian Pride as we sat beneath a tent and watched the children dance to the extraordinarily loud Greek Music pumping through the speakers.

It was an eventful weekend.