I'm Rubber... You're Glue...

She stepped out of the library carrying a Lizzie MacGuire book. When I asked her what she was reading she referred to it as a 'real book'. She further explained it had no pictures. She claimed to love books, and that books were, 'good for you'. I agreed and told her I was reading a book, Jules Verne's Journey To The Center Of The Earth, and that I, too love to read. Then she asked me if it bothered me when peopled called me a bookworm.

My response was, "There's worse things in the world than liking to read books."

She said that I had a good point, and that she might be considered a bookworm to many but she guessed she didn't mind so much anymore.

A Day Late...

Should've thought about it yesterday but I missed it. Today I was checking the news and there I saw a blurb about the Challenger Space Shuttle. Yesterday was the anniversary of the tragedy. JANUARY 28th 1986, the Challenger exploded 73 seconds after lift off killing all seven astronauts aboard.

I was sitting on the Principal's bench, punishment for being disruptive in class, and from my perch I could see into the front office where they were watching the shuttle launch. I watched the shuttle explode, and sat in shocked horror. I was ten years old, and, at the time, my dream was to be an astronaut. I don't remember the walk back to class, or even the bike ride home that day. I do remember coming home and my mother was sitting in front of the televisionwith tears in her eyes.

It's hard to believe that it has been over 22 years since the explosion. The two most replayed news footage clips I remember from my childhood are 'Joe Theisman's Leg' and 'The Challenger Explosion'. To this day both images still haunt me.

*Schadenfreude!

A huge smile spead across my face as I look past the blinking lights and see the state tropper walking up to the driver's side door of the same black pick up that had almost rear ended me earlier, when traffic slowed down, and then rocketed past me with a dirty look; as if it were might fault he was going 25 miles over the speed limit. Hehe... take that!

* Hapiness at the misfortune of others.

The Honor System

Last night we went to have dinner with our friends and their children. Such a welcoming family; we always have a good time. Anyway, the daughter, I believe she's eight, was being punished for school problems and had her TV watching privileges revoked for the day. She was upset, as children are when their precious TV is taken away, but was making the best of the situation.

Later in the night we all settled down on the sofa to watch a video from the parents' recent cruise. The daughter excused herself for obvious reasons. Halfway through the video I started to wonder if the daughter was actually in the other room obeying her parents. There was a corner in the hallway and I scoped it out earlier, if I was going to sneak up and watch TV unobserved this would be the perfect spot. I imagined a much younger me commando crawling down the hall, heart pounding, shallow breaths wheezing out as I crept closer to the corner in order to sneak a peek at the forbidden images flickering across the television.

I was positive that the daughter was up to some mischief. She was being too quiet in the other room. I snuck out of the room and found her lying on the rug in the other room waiting patiently. I was amazed that she hadn't even thought about sneaking a peek at the boob tube.

Was I such a disobedient punk when I was child? Is she that honest and trustworthy? Have children changed so much?

What I didn't tell you is that inevitably I would have been caught watching TV from the hallway. Either I would've gotten caught creeping into position, or I would've been successful and kept pushing the envelope; trying again and again until I was busted. The threat of being caught was half the fun.

What Area Code Is (202)?

So last week I received a text message that read, "I Love You."

I did not recognize the number. Since the only person who regularly texts me that message is my wife I responded, "Thanks. Who's This?"

No reply.

Flash forward - Yesterday on my commute home I get a text from the same number.

"Can we talk later?"

I reply, "Who is this? Think you have wrong #."

*Duplicate* "Can we talk later?"

"WHO ARE YOU," I text getting more annoyed with my mysterious admirer

The answer comes back, "So its like that cindy."

"Wrong Number!" If I hadn't been on the Beltway I would've sent off a pic message of myself asking who the hell Cindy was. Luckily, the anonymous texter must've finally realized his error.

In a completely unrelated text message story... once my brother sent me an semi-erotic text meant for his wife. That one still makes me chuckle.

"My son talks about you all the time."

I wanted to say,

"Really? Cause all he does in my class is offer inappropriate suggestions, start arguments and act as disruptive as humanly possible."

or simply...

"Your son's a dick!"

Instead I replied,

"Great! Well, I'm glad that the students are enjoying my class."

There has got to be an easier way.

I'm fairly new to my insurance company and I am having a hard time figuring out all of the ins and outs of working the system. Apparently I have to go to medical centers for treatment and there isn't urologist in my county, and to see a urologist in my neighboring counties I would have to wait until mid February. The ER doctor had suggested a follow up appointment within the week. So the earliest appointment I could get to see a doctor about my kidneys was on the 17th, yesterday, but I had to go up to the other side of Baltimore for my appointment.

Unfortunately, yesterdays winter storm interfered with my plans to see the doctor and I was unable, due to traffic, to keep my appointment. Fortunately, I am not in constant pain, and I was able to reschedule for the 31st but I still have to drive up to Baltimore to be seen by a urologist.

Hopefully, the pain won't be a factor before I can get to the doctor.

DILAUDID IS GREAT!

I haven't been rushed to the ER for my kidney in almost ten years, but I woke up around 2AM and tried all of my normal tricks to get through the pain. I took some Tylenol, stretched out on the floor, soaked in a hot bath, paced around and prayed to whatever God would listen to take away the pain. This spell was not playing fair. Normally the pain fades away and I can get on with my life and procrastinate making the doctor's appointment that I obviously need. Finally around 5AM I decided that I had had enough. UNCLE! I GIVE UP! I gently woke Sara and asked her to drive me to the ER.

I'm glad I did. The excruciating pain in my right kidney, I rated it around 9 1/2, soon pain melted away when the doctors shot me up with Dilaudid. It was nice. I've had better drugs... after my kidney operation they shot me up with some morphine or something and I was out ot this world, but this was good, too. The Dilaudid kissed my boo boo, and the episode forced me to make an appointment with a Urologist. I haven't seen a doctor in 8 years. It's about time I start addressing my kidneys again. I've tried to ignore them but now that I have insurance again, I guess I should stay on top of things.

Serves Me Right

I was writing out my class schedule on the board in my room. I need to show the students what we'll be working on each day in class and I was completely engrossed in writing down the information. Absorbed as I was I failed to hear one of my students, whom I only see on Friday, sneak into my room and creep to within inches of me until he he made a loud hissing sound in my ear. I jumped out of my shoes, dropped my dry erase marker and all I could get out was, "DUDE?"

He just started laughing.

Then I laughed.

You may or may not know about my propensity for scaring people. I love to make people jump, yelp, freak out, etc. Just ask my wife about the time we were watching Friday The 13th and the lights went out. I still think she harbours a grudge. Anyway, scaring people is something I take pleasure in and to have someone get me SO GOOD was a nice change of pace! I'm just glad I was strong enough not to wet myself.

Mammoth Discovery!

Have you heard about this? A Baby Wooly Mammoth's frozen remains were unearthed recently in Siberia. The carcass now, named Lubya, is the best preserved Mammoth remains ever discovered and will hopefully give researchers tons of useful informations about the existance and inevitable exitinction of these amazing beasts.

Why is this facinating to me? I don't know but it is. Tiny samples of oxygen trapped in the lungs may offer information about the atmosphere when 'Lubya' died. They'll study the internal organs to determine diet. This discovery is being hailed as an 'historic event'.

I think I'm excited because I just watched ICE AGE: THE MELTDOWN over the weekend. Those movies make me chuckle.

Casting Woes.

"The casting decisions will be made in the next week or so," I explained to the Arts Block Class. "When the roles are assigned you may not get the part you wanted. I will expect you to take the role you and try your best."

"Or you can quit," pipes in a Piper Wannabe.

"No one will be quitting," I explain. "You will come in here every week with a positive attitude, and participate no matter what role you get."

"Or you can quit," he insists with a smile on his face.

"Quitting is not an option."

"But you can quit if you don't get the part you want, right?"

WTF?

I was sitting in traffic this morning, zoning out when suddenly I heard an incredible story on the radio. A Pensacola couple was arrested for trying to sell their baby in a Petsmart parking lot. They were selling their baby! FOR $30! THIRTY BUCKS! In a parking lot! To top it off... the mother is nine months pregnant with yet another child! I don't understand why they didn't wait another week or so and then have a 2 for 1 sale.

I'm disgusted!

Homicide #1, 2008.

Charm City really knows how to ring in the New Year! It's a damn SHAME!