Less Than Passionate or Passionless?

I recently asked a handful of coworkers what, if anything, was or were their passions?  I got a few varying answers.  One said, "I dunno.  I really like music.  I guess I'm passionate about that."  (Doesn't seem like it.)  Another said, "I don't really have a passion right now.  It really makes life feel empty."  A few just laughed and asked me what my passion was and thereby avoided the question.

Recently, as I've been scanning social media I've come across a few "friends" who post regularly and sometimes even over-zealously about some aspect of their life and that aspect seems to define who they have become.  Countless pictures of a person at the gym or cross-fit center, mirror selfies showing their progress in getting their health body back, blog posts about accepting loss and finding love all seem to have assault me from every direction.  "Assault" is a strong word I realize; I don't have to read the person's post, or pay attention to their umpteenth inspirational Instagram post of the day but I do.  I sit on my smart phone during my dinner break, in front of the television, or on the crapper and I casually swipe my finger down the screen looking for something I don't know what. 

• Inspiration?  I doubt it.  I roll my eyes, and scoff when I see yet another mirror selfie and a random quote attached.  It doesn't seem like someone who has it all together or even answers to just a few of life's questions would spend so much time on social media.  
• An example?  I think not.  I don't get people who attach an activity to their identity, @jimmydoescrossfit and @brittanysquats post endlessly about their favorite activity, working out, and good for them but it seems a little much.  If I instagramed a picture of myself doing a chin-up, bench-pressing 250lbs at the gym, or even just physically in a gym then that would be something because this guy doesn't ever go into gyms these days.  "Look, he's in a gym!  What the hell is he doing in a gym?"
• A New Hobby?  Should I eat paleo?  Is yoga something I should be into?  Do I need to try the latest fat-burning waist-cincher?  Is their a new pyramid scheme out that I can best utilize with my facebook account?  I could sell essential oils, teeth whitening strips, yoga pants and/or Canadian yarn art but I don't want to I'd rather just swipe and scoff.

But then again who am I to criticize?  What am I passionate about?  If you were to peruse my social media postings you might find random posts about a few sports teams I like, movies I enjoy, goodreads.com updates, and a shit ton of pics of my family.  So that must mean I'm passionate about being a dad and a husband.  I enjoy it, most times, but I'm not grooming daughter to be prodigies or anything.  I'm not drilling Evie Sue day and night with mathematical flashcards or shoving a bassoon in Ronen's face.  I'm content to let them be kids right now and I quite enjoy goofing off with them.  I don't believe I've discovered a new way of parenting, in fact, I often remark on how inept of a parent I may prove to be.  As far as husbanding goes, I'm sure I have a lot of work to improve on in that regard.

What about my writing?  What about it?  I haven't actively worked on a script in an eternity.  I posted a few blog posts last year, "published" an essay online but I haven really invested myself in any one particular project that would be of note.  Even my blog posts can feel a bit routine as I'm giving monthly updates to my few readers.  Recently, I read a blog post by a high school friend.  It was about her moving on from a divorce and looking ahead, most importantly, looking and still believing in love.  She was honest, raw and a bit too much at times but she had something she wanted to say and said it with a passion.  It made me examine my writings, this blog, old scripts, etc,and wonder if I ever write with passion.  Do the stories I want to tell have passion? Is there something worthwhile that I'm trying to say with my scripts?  Do I take a stand in any of my writing or do I just comfortably hover along the middle ground?

What am I passionate about?

Politics?  Nope.  It's all a lot of stuff and nonsense.  No one can ever deliver on their promises because of all of the political manuevering that must happen.  Political parties are all flawed.  No one has the answer.

Religion?  Nope.  I believe that there is something out there in the universe that is bigger than me and I'll never understand it.  I'm okay with that.  I'll try my best to lead a good life without religion.  Organized religion is flawed because people are flawed.  No one has the answer.

Civil Rights? While I see the importance I'm not actively supporting or protesting any particular issue ate the present time.  I never really have,   I believe Black Lives Matter.  I believe White Lives Matter.  Lives matter.  Most lives matter to someone  even if they don't always matter to me.  I don't believe that I have ever oppressed anyone before but I regret oppression as a concept.  I think people should be allowed to pursue happiness, and be treated fairly because they are people and we are all sharing the same space but then again people are flawed.

Animal Cruelty?  I am not cruel to animals and I don't understand people who are no matter how flawed they are.

I don't give of myself or my time to any of the concepts listed above.  I have friends who are actively involved, volunteering their time at pet shelters, protesting police brutality in Baltimore, and drumming up support for their favorite candidate.  Not me.  I'll vote, shake my head in disgust at the evening news and pick up my dog's leavings but that's it.  These things, while I acknowledge their importance to some, do not move me to act.  I may be too apathetic.

According to merriam-webster.com the definition  of apathetic is

1 :  having or showing little or no feeling or emotion :  spiritless 

2 :  having little or no interest or concern :  indifferent

Spiritless?  Moi?  Indifferent, yes, but spiritless?  I don't know.  I agree I can be indifferent to a lot of things but I don't know if I'm apathetic.  Maybe I'm laid back... but not always.  In fact, I can be downright stressed out and emotional about many things.  Maybe I tend to be a bit uninterested these days in the world around me.  Maybe I never became a superhero not because I lacked extraterrestrial origins, an extra chromosome or a freak accident to give me superpowers but because a hero who chose to sit at home on the couch, drink a beer and watch Yo Gabba Gabba with his kids instead of fight the forces of evil and injustice wouldn't really be a hero worth being.  No one wants to read that comic.

I recently read an article, forwarded onto me by my wife*, after I asked her what she was passionate about, and in it the author says that finding your purpose has to do with identifying one or two things that are bigger than yourself.  My family would definitely be one of those things and while I may have my rough days, sleepless nights, and frustrating moments I love being a Dad.  I hope to be an engaged, and loving father.  As my daughters get older I plan for them to know me as a man who always has time for a kiss, laughs at their jokes, helps them up when they fall and spends time in healthy, rewarding friendships and relationships.  Maybe my writing will come full circle again and I'll be able to dedicate the time and effort that I always hoped I would.  Maybe I'll suddenly become passionate about an injustice in the world and feel the need to address it with my words.  Maybe I won't.  Maybe I'll just go on living as close to a decent life as I possibly can.

PS.  A coworker, a young man of 20, who was bothered by the fact that he doesn't seem to be passionate about anything anymore approached me about my question.  He reopened the discussion because it had been weighing heavily on his mind.  He feels he should have more interests having lost touch with his love of music, stopped practicing martial arts, and finding himself spending more time working on school and work.  We talked for quite awhile, and while I know we didn't come to any conclusions for either of us I do know it helped us both to be able to voice these feelings and frustrations.  That in and of itself shows me that I am not apathetic.

*  My wife didn't really have an easy answer to the question either.  It's not an easy question.  I'm sure there are those that could just rattle off a few causes that they support, or a social issue that consumes all of their free time and energy but it would appear that many people struggle with finding passion.