I was told to leave my shirt on but to remove my pants, and underwear. There was a folded length of tissue like material that I was to wrap around my naked pelvis and sit in the chair. The tissue tore at the corner as I unfolded it. Then, confused, I wrapped the material around my waist and sat down promptly splitting the cover. When I turned it frontwards I exposed myself. Oh well, I figured that the urologist and the nurse were going to see my penis anyway.
I am then instructed to sit on the examining table and lay back as the nurse applies a cleaning solution to my genitals. This cleaning solution might have had ice cubes in it! It was that damn cold! Then the nurse instructs me that she is going to insert a needle less syringe - thank whatever god you believe in for that! - into my urethra to coat it with numbing gel. That was unpleasant. Then to keep the gel from leaking out she put a metal clamp around my shrink-wrapped member. The fun is just getting started.
My urologist shows up and tells me that there might be some discomfort during the procedure. I am a nervous wreck at this point because the numbing gel did not, in my opinion, have a noticeable effect. I didn't feel numb! I didn't feel as if I'd been given a local anesthetic! In fact, I was completely aware of the chip clip hanging off the end of my wang but my requests for a spinal tap were dismissed. So the doctor lifts up the torn tissue paper, removes the clamp, takes a big technologically advanced instrument - I averted my eyes pretty quickly, but to me it looked like a cross between a microscope and a caulking gun - and inserted the tip into my tip.
Then, I can only explain what I know to have happened from my point of view, he snaked a scope up my urethra while flushing water into my bladder to dilate it. I was supposed to be numb but believe me you feel a foreign presence rooting around in your bladder. He even at one point warned me, "This will be uncomfortable until I get it past the prostrate... and... there we go. Better?"
PEACHY!
Then with the scope, apparently he could see into my bladder, he was able to look around, locate the ureteric stent, get a hold of one end and tug. This was not a quick removal. Okay, so maybe once the caulking gun was applied the procedure took less than two minutes, but they were the longest two minutes of my life! The stent ended up being about 12 inches -that's a foot, people - not to mention the length of the scope that went in to locate the stent. When the doctor pulled it all out it was horrible. I felt like I was part of a magic act and the magician was pulling a long string of handkerchiefs out of my pocket; one after another after another, etc. Only in this case it wasn't my pocket it was my pecker!
Overall???? A day that I survived... an experience that I've learned from... afoot-long tube pulled from my most intimate of appendages.
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