Hablas Japanese, Guey?

So I'm sitting at the sushi bar, enjoying my $1 sushi when two ladies meet for lunch and sit several chairs away. I eavesdropped! I'll admit it. I was minding my own business when the younger of the two announced that she was probably moving out, and leaving her boyfriend.

"Things have changed. Somewhere we lost it. Blah blah blah!"

Anyway, I'll spare you the boring, and oh so very common details, and skip ahead a little. The older lady was trying her best to help out, offer advice, psychoanalyse the boyfriend, etc. She couldn't stop offering her inept wisdom, and cliches.

Then a newcomer, a stranger, sits between us and starts talking to the Mexican Sushi Chef in Spanish. He's a regular and wants his rice on the side in one ball, and the fish sashimi style. Oh, and he doesn't believe in chopsticks, because he lived in Japan and, word is, they don't use them. The older lady hears him say something about Japan and questions him about it.

"So you lived in Japan?"

"Yes, for a while."

"So you're an expert?"

"I would say that."

"Well you certainly seem to have mastered the language. I heard you talking to that man."

????????????????????? What? What are you talking about?

He was speaking Spanish to the Mexican Sushi Chef! Spanish! Not Japanese! Who confuses the two languages, much less mistakes a Latino for Japanese just because he's rolling a spicy tuna roll. I wondered if she would have accidentally confused a Japanese man in a sombrero for a Mexican Caballero!

The newcomer just, politely, said, "Oh, I'm Latin American. We were speaking Spanish."

The lady didn't even flinch and said, "I've always wanted to go to Japan."

I almost laughed wasabi out through my nose!