STRE$$ED OUT!

Q: What can make a grown man break down and cry himself to sleep like a little baby?
A: Money. Or more to the point; the lack of money.

For about six months now I've been working in shipping & receiving. I like the company, I don't mind the work but I haven't been this broke since I was in college. I've been scraping from paycheck to paycheck and dipping into my overdraft protection every DAMN time.
So I got off my ass a couple weeks ago and started looking for part-time restaurant/bar work to supplement my income, or even replace my current job with something else. Not a peep. No calls. No emails. Nada. Nothing until this week. Now I've had two tentative job offers.
Then of course my work calls a meeting with me and we have The Talk.
"We really like you. We want to keep you if we can. What do you need from us to stay on?"
So now apparently I can march into the office Monday and make my demands and, if at all possible, they'll try to meet my needs.
Great, right?
I don't know. If they meet my demands, which you better believe will call for a significant pay increase, then I wait around for another three weeks to see the difference in my paychecks. If they can't satisfy me and I start moonlighting in a bar then I have to work it into my current schedule, train for several shifts, and most likely wait for three more weeks to see any extra money. I'm screwed. I have no money. My next paycheck is rent. If it wasn't for my Saintly Girlfriend, whom I've been sponging off of for too long now, I'd be selling my body on the streets. Believe me, nobody wants that to happen.
Gawd, I wish I could sell an egg or something! I'd go to a sperm bank but they don't pay well and in twenty years I get mugged by some strange asshole who looks exactly like me!
I guess I'll have to play the waiting game and hope my Tax Refund shows up in time (Yeah Right), either that or... I don't know...

I wish I could be one of those people who say money doesn't matter. Cause it sure does seem to ruin too many of my days.