Tomorrow morning, bright and early, I will be heading to the Maryland Kidney Stone Center, up past Baltimore for a simple out patient procedure. Lithotripsy! Basically, they focus sound waves on your kidney to break up the stones. I read somewhere a description that referred to this procedure as practically painless.
Bullshit!
If I remember accurately, from previous Lithotripsies, you wake up from the anesthetic feeling like you've been hit by a bus, then you must void your bladder for the recovery room staff so they can be sure that of your urine flow. (The urine in question actually comes out looking like bloody, grainy, nasty pomegranate juice.) Then you spend the next few days wondering how every single muscle in your abdomen and back can hurt without any ribs being broken, then you start to wonder if maybe the idiot doctors zapped you too hard and, indeed broke a rib, so you pop a painkiller zone out and start to forget about the pain for awhile until you rip a huge fart that threatens to force you into unconsciousness it hurts so bad, as your scream fades into a whimper.
Painless?
I'll update you on how accurate my memory is within the next day or so... hopefully.
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