Who came up with the word phlegm? Why phlegm? I'm sure at the time it was named there were still some unused words in the English language, better and less disgusting words. Being sick might not be so bad if it wasn't for all of the phlegm, the coughing up of the phlegm, what color is your phlegm? and everything associated with the word phlegm. Why not call it sap? Or Kool Aid?
I know. Let's try an experiment. Let's fill in the blank in the following phrase, by replacing the word phlegm with better words.
"I haven't gotten out of bed in three days except to dump all of my used tissues. I've got _________ shooting out of every orifice 24 hours a day."
Now reread the sentence with words like:
Sunshine
Gravy
Unconditional Love
Jelly
Silliness
Mountain Dew
Chowder
See? Isn't that better. Wouldn't you feel less sick if you could just stop saying phlegm? If we, as a people, could set aside our differences, and come together for the sole purpose of eradicating the word phlegm from every spoken language on earth; Oh Happy Day! Being sick would be less of a burden, more enjoyable, and phlegmwads every where could hold their heads high and say, "I'm a ______wad!"
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