Waiter? There's A Hair In My Seafood Stew!

So we went out to dinner at a nice restaurant tonight. I'm working again, I can pick up extra shifts yah dah yah dah yah dah... spent more than I had planned but it's good to go out and eat every now and then. Anyway, after dinner I'm waiting near the front entrance for my beautiful girlfriend to use the powder room and I glance into the kitchen. The wall has these little portals/windows so you can observe the kitchen staff. There's this young kid, buzz cutt, ratty T-Shirt, with an eyeball tattooed on the back of his neck cooking and jamming along to the music. He's fun to watch when all of the sudden I notice these blonde wisps of hair around his ears. At first I thought maybe he was Hasidic, maybe 'Hair Cuttery Challenged' or maybe I just haven't been watching MTV and am behind in the styles. OH NO, these hairs weren't around the ears, or behind the ears these were growing from his earlobes. Now I know men sometimes grow ear hair, especially as they age. This kid couldn't have been older than his late twenties, and it wasn't like he had a few errant hairs. I admit I even have a few, but it looked like this MoFo had glued Corn Silk to his lobes. Maybe he decided earrings were out and produce was the next accessory. He looks like a Muppet! Did you ever see Labrinth? Those guys who could pull their own heads off and switch limbs and such, that's what it looked like. I'm not kidding. These hairs were 2 inches if they were a millimeter, and I'm pretty sure he bleached these buggers to make them blonde! WTF? It was amazing. I was entranced, and then when my better half joined me I asked her to look into the kitchen at the young dude cooking. She started to ask what she was supposed to be looking at and then stopped abruptly and bolted out the door to hide her laughter. Okay, so it wasn't just me. It was odd. Good restaurant. Great Food. Pricey Menu! Mutant Tamarine Marmoset working the Hot Line! Is that sanitary? Shouldn't Ear Muffs be required? Young children could swing from this line cook's ear lobe hair and he's entrusted to prepare my Sweetheart's steak? The man can't handle a pair of scissors but he can work a gas grill? Plus he bleaches the bad boys?

(By the way, dinner was excellent. I did, however, promptly purge myself upon leaving the restaurant. Passersby were quoted as hearing, "Bleeechh! What is wrong with the world? Guplump Raesft! What's next? Neon Mole Hair? Rrrraaalllppphhh!!!!")