'Here's to us and all our mistakes and all our losses and the gains we'll make.' -Thomas Hudson's 1st Wife
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Winter Break?
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
The Very Idea...
I can only imagine the puzzled look on my face.
I came to this school to combine my two interests of performing arts and special education, and for now that is what I plan to do. Maybe sometime in the future after I go back to school I might feel more secure stepping back into the classroom as a head teacher but for now I think I'll stick to the 'Expressive Arts'.
Sunday, December 16, 2007
And Cue The Applause!
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Holiday Stage Fright?
Perhaps it's because I myself am not performing, and I am not directly in control of what actually happens onstage. Am I a control freak? I've directed shows for theatre companies before and I believe I was very trusting of my casts and able to 'let go' when the time came.
I am still fairly new at my job here, I am exploring lots of approaches to dealing with my students, and I am finding out what does and does not work with each student. Unfortunately I am having a harder time nailing down the staff. Some staff are very eager to help, and extremely accommodating and then again some... are not so much. We rehearse our chorus once a week, in 4 different sessions. This Friday will be the first time we've been able to assemble the entire chorus in the same room at the same time to go over our show. I also cast several students in the show, giving them speaking roles and hoping to stage a few scenes between Holiday songs. Unfortunately I have never been able to rehearse with all of my actors at the same time. The scheduling conflicts, school wide assemblies, forget fullness of some staff members, and other unforeseen circumstances have made the rehearsal process a nightmare. Couple this with the spacing restrictions of our stage, and I have had to scrap the script all together. Instead the few students whom I have been working with will introduce each Holiday or celebration to the audience before the songs.
Every actor/performer has the same nightmare to a certain degree. In this horribly stressful and all too reoccurring dream the actor is thrust onstage for a performance of a show. The catch is that they do not remember rehearsing for the show at all. Maybe there's a instance of forgetting to attend rehearsals, caught completely unaware, or even that the actor just hasn't kept up with the demand. The actor is completely unprepared, unfamiliar with the script, and caught up in a whirlwind of frenetic energy as the performance goes on around them and they stumble to keep up appearances and deliver a convincing performance. I myself have suffered from this nightmare many times.
"What if the audience knows? What if they see through me? What if they figure out that I am a phony? What if they think that I'm awful?"
That's what it's all about, I think. The dream is all about being discovered; of exposing your weaknesses. The dream is all about insecurity.
"I could've done more! I should have done more!"
We'll have to wait and see how the show goes over. I'm more leery of the parents than I ever was of Lawrence Bommer or any other 'critic'.
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
*WARNING - ALBERTA CLIPPER _ WARNING*
After a 3 hour commute to work for our school's half day, I was a little bitter. It was smattering of snowflakes and the Beltway was a parking lot! It was ridiculous! Fenderbenders, Rubber-Neckers, and even cars who lost control and swerved into guard rails because of a snow flurry! As if my commute were bad enough... Old Man Winter sneezes and everyone forgets how to drive with a snowflake on their windshield!
Monday, December 03, 2007
Best Laid Plans...
I cannot get into my neighborhood! There is only one entrance into Epping Forest and the blustery wind that has been blowing all day has apparently knocked down some powerlines leading into my neighborhood. No one gets in... no one gets out!
Isn't that just typical?
Sunday, December 02, 2007
Don't Make No Sense...
Heroes were never meant to age gracefully.
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Heard The Coolest Song This Morning
The lyrics read:
Someone doin' somethin' dirty, decent folks can frown on.
Monday, November 26, 2007
Back To Reality
Our little vacation away from the real world was very refreshing. The wedding went off without a hitch. It was a very simple, romantic affair with close friends and family. The reception was a rocking good time. Our entrance and first dance made quite the impression.
We've spent the last two days, our first days, as husband and wife; lounging around our suite, sipping champagne, and dreading check out. By tonight we'll be back in our house, walking the Toot, and preparing for the rest of our lives.
Saturday, November 24, 2007
Today's The Day!
Actually that's not accurate. There's errands I have to run. I have to press my suit, trim my beard, wash a load of laundry, and pick up cups, and Kegs for the reception.
Then all I'll have to do is say I Do.
It's exciting. The nervousness hasn't hit me yet!
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Day 5 - Kearney To White Bear Lake
About 55 miles outside of Des Moines we hit a full on snow storm. Visibility drops, the road has frozen over, and we start seeing more and more cars winding up in ditches. We average 40 mph until we get around the city and head north to St. Paul. Eventually we drive out of the snowstorm and it's smooth sailing to the Twin Cities.
The drive is over, now there is just the wedding!
Day 4 - Denver To Georgetown To Denver To Kearney
We drove through Georgetown, The Silver Queen of The Rockies. It's a little mining town that is nestled in a valley near the Guanella Pass. We drove through the pass, over 11600 feet above sea level. I even climbed up onto a frozen waterfall, and then proceeded to wheeze for the next half hour. It was definitely worth the trip, on a beautiful day.
We got back to Denver as the cold front was moving in, we picked up the car and drove off into Nebraska with the adverse weather behind us. We stopped for the night in Kearney.
Monday, November 19, 2007
Day 3 - Wichita to Denver
Greensburg, Kansas, 95% destroyed when a mile and a half wide tornado (EF5) with winds of over 200 mph swept through the town in May of 2007. All that's left are bare trees, a temporary hospital and houses being built up from scratch. It was like something from another planet.
Around Pueblo, Colorado, the left front wheels little noise has grown into an unmistakable problem. Adam thinks the wheel bearings are going - possible ,worst case scenario effects of this include trouble steering or loss of the wheel. That won't do. We decide to stop overnight in Denver and wait to see if the car is easily, and cheaply fixed. So that's where we are... hours short of today's goal of Cheyenne, Wyoming... waiting.
Day 2: Paducah to Wichita (Delayed)
Missouri turns into Kansas -who could tell. We decide to spend the night in Wichita; a few hours short of our goal of Dodge City. We'll start fresh the next day and make up the time we've lost.
* I Couldn't find an internet connection yesterday so I missed an update.
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Day 1- Annapolis to Paducah
NO!
They cross the river, go into the Land of Lincoln, storm the streets of Metropolis, see the Superman Statue and loose a few bucks at the casino before returning to their hotel room and getting some much needed sleep.
Today we drove over 8oo miles. Tomorrow we hope to, by way of Joplin and the Pecks, make it to Dodge City! Stay Tuned!
Friday, November 16, 2007
One Week & Counting!
I hope everyone will have a good time. I'm disappointed some friends cannot make it but understand. I am excited to get the two families together. I'm excited for Sunday morning; waking up with my wife, and a teeny tiny hangover.
I just dropped the dog off at a friends house. She isn't making the trip to White Bear Lake, MN. Dropping her off was the last thing I have to do before town... besides finishing packing. It really hit me when I left Tootsie behind. I'm leaving to get married.
Yesterday I dropped Sara off at the airport. I still had time. Now I'm getting down to the wire.
Tomorrow morning at the butt crack of dawn Adam, my best man, and I are hitting the road. Since he's not a flyer (Puss) we decided to drive to Minnesota by way of the Bad Lands! That's right! We're taking a road trip! My last hurrah! Hitting the road with my best friend! Seeing the country!
It's going to be just like SIDEWAYS! (Except for the vineyards, the drinking, the sex, and the broken nose... Actually, it'll probably be more like Cannonball Run... only a little cooler... not much, but a little.)
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Thank You, Mr. Klazer!
I've had a hard time getting them to participate in my drama class, and have had to readjust my schedule for their many disruptions, inappropriate comments, and fits of anger. Sometimes it is the longest 30 minutes of my week.
Today I was with them all day. There's a new head teacher (last one quit), and a new staff to make up for the two missing assistants (also quit). The exhaustion always shows in the faces of the classroom staff... before they quit. So there I was all day long.
Time stood still.
The one cool part of today was when I took over the Science Experiment. The new teacher, a completely capable and responsible person, was intimidated by the lesson, and was having a hard time grasping everything. She asked me to help, and before I knew it I had bailed on the botched experiment, started afresh and led most of the class through a fairly simple experiment on sugars and starches.
I made sure the students were safe during the experiment, did not cross-contaminate our samples and kept them engaged (for the most part). The teacher couldn't have been happier. She's asked me if I would be free to help out with Science every week.
My Senior Year of High School I was Mr. Klazer's lab sssistant for a chemistry class. He didn't always have lots of tasks for me, and even let me ditch sometimes to go rehearse my lines but he did use me during the experiments. I would set up, assist him, guide the groups, and help clean up afterwards. I have to credit him with today's small victory.
My older brother, a Science Teacher, will be so proud.
Monday, November 12, 2007
Pretentious?
My 1st session was on teaching social skills. The material was pretty common sense but the speaker was very entertaining.
My 2nd session was on teaching poetry to special students. The guest speaker gave us several exercises, all of which dealt with writing about ourselves as a metaphor. Then she asked us to share our work. My coworker thought I should read mine but I quickly became aware of the skyrocketing pretension being exhibited in the room.
The poem was called an 'I Am' poem. You compare yourself to colors, animals, feelings, weather, etc. People soon became enamored of their own creativity, and the vanity of the poems became so overwhelming.
"I am the daughter of mother earth..."
"I am an eagle; proud and fierce."
"I am an original; never before seen."
"I am amazing..."
"I am a god..."
I didn't read mine. I don't think it was quite as pretentious as some of the others but I just didn't feel like shairing then.
Friday, November 02, 2007
I Realize I'm Dreaming...
I'm back on the floor. I place an order and nothing goes right. The drinks are wrong! The food is burned! Someone knocks over my tray! I can't get my order from the kitchen. The customer is upset! The manager blames me! I suddenly feel completely out of control, and then somewhere in the back of my brain I realize, 'This is dream. This isn't real.'
I just never got that worked up at those jobs. Don't get me wrong. There were stressful shifts, when nothing seemed to go right but there was always a point where I could let go and decompress. I would reach a plateau, regroup and turn things around. In these dreams, I am completely unable to cope with anything. I'm drowning in my own anxiety. That's not me.
I also dreamed that I was standing in line, as requested by my sister-in-law, to buy a gift for my niece. It apparently was a hot item and tensions ran high in the line and people were not being very cordial. Then the line fell apart and it becomes clear to me that I was mistaken. The people aren't waiting to buy a toy for their children they are here for an extremely competive, and high-stakes auction. Something very valuable is going up on the block. Then the person next to me starts an argument, and then their auction paddle is suddenly transformed, under their mental control, into two sai type of ninja weapons. I fend off the attack as best I can with my flimsy auction paddle. I am in a hopeless confrontation. Suddenly, one of my students, the creative one, instructs me on how to transform my paddle into a broad sword. Suddenly the sword starts buzzing and I feel the power in it when I realize that the buzzing is actually the vibrating alarm on my phone.
I open my eyes.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Motor Skills
Just click on the link and open the mazes. TRY!
Monday, October 29, 2007
PET Peeve!
It's too late.
Now I'm awake. Abruptly, I'm ousted from dreamland and find myself being assaulted by an overly affectionate dog at 5:56 AM. My alarm doesn't go off until 6:00 AM! I'm awake 4 minutes early! I hate being woken up before the alarm! This will ruin my entire day. I now will have to stay in bed for 10 extra minutes out of spite, before starting my day in a foul mood!
The good news is, that I won't have to shower this morning since Tootsie's tongue has bathed my entire face from bearded chin to receding hairline whilst I tried to sleep through the ordeal.
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
I Wanted To Scream!
-Bummer!
Almost a 3 hour commute
-Really?
Rain is wet
-Are you serious?
People can't drive when it's wet
-That's stupid!
People are stupid
-Yes they are!
I was late
PS. My Mother is an alarmist!
Monday, October 22, 2007
WTF?
In other irrelevant news...
Kid Rock is white trash!
Ellen is still nuts!
Grrrrrrr!
It's almost ten weeks into the school year and I haven't been able to work with them consistently. My other classes come in, knock out a couple exercises, and leave excited for next class. This class... with few exceptions... they trickle in, they mope around, they make inappropriate comments, they talk over each other, they run out into the hallway, and a half hour class stretches on into an eon of agony.
I plan to eventually work each of my classes into a classroom production of a short 5 -10 minute play. My other classes have proven to me that they can follow directions, complete activities, transition from one activity to the next, and may be ready for a bigger project. This one class is falling way short of my simple expectations.
So today I told them so. I told them how disrespectful they were being (to each other as well as myself), I told them how we have not made much progress in the last couple months, and I told them that I didn't feel that they were ready to move on to a bigger project.
They sat in stunned silence, threw out a few feeble attempts at a defense and then turned around and nailed the exercise. I know that their classroom staff has been run ragged by them, and every one's frustrated and looking for a way to settle the class down. I would not necessarily suggest reaming them out... but for the time being it has seemed to have a positive effect for me.
Friday, October 19, 2007
Sorry Ma!
Wedding's approaching. Money's tight. Commute sucks. Work's good. Tired.
Friday, October 05, 2007
Daily Occurrence.
Nothing brings a smile to your face quicker than a class of five year old calling out to you, "Good Morning Mr. Cobb!" Or "Buenos Dias!" (They just learned that one.)
Thursday, October 04, 2007
Burger Emergency!
WTF?
Apparently, you cannot get it your way, right away!
Monday, October 01, 2007
Duct Hunting Season
The project my friend Dean came up with was a campy, horror flick entitled Attack of the Killer Duct Tape! We spent all day Saturday at the Sweathouse Section of Gunpowder Falls Park hiking, fighting off evil duct tape, fleeing from a giant ball of duct tape! It was a fun project to work on.
I'm not sure how well it went over at the screening, The campiness of the film may not have been as obvious as we would have wanted, and I know that my friend had hoped for a better response. I'm sure many of the directors had hoped for more enthusiastic receptions. Some of the films were very creative; others were less so.
48 hours is a short time in which to create a film... much less something worth watching.
Monday, September 24, 2007
What Did You Do This Weekend?
- Went out to eat to celebrate my father's birthday. He had to wear a sombrero and be serenaded by the less than enthusiastic staff. It was amusing.
- Went to a crab feast. (Yum)
- Attended a theatre party where a recorded production was screened. (Groan)
- An 8 O'Clock 3K Walk For Breast/Ovarian Cancer, which in reality became a 9 O'CLock 5K Walk!
- Took another beating in my Fantasy Football League.
- Had a sick 4 year old lick my face... twice.
Odd Bumper Sticker!
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Fame VS Flame
Teacher: You have a good joke? Sure, let me have it.
Student: (Reading from a joke book.) Where do great dragon athletes go when they retire?
Teacher: I don't know. Where do great dragon athletes go when they retire?
Student: To the Hall of Fame! (Laughs hysterically.)
Teacher: Um, are you sure that's not supposed to read, "Hall of FLAME!"?
Student: (Without missing a beat.) Hall of FLAME! (Laughs hysterically.)
Teacher: Get it? Dragons! Flames!
Student: Yeah, flame! Hall of Flame! That's a good one, huh?
Monday, September 17, 2007
Hear Ye! Hear Ye!
The history buff in me appreciated the atmosphere, and spectacle of it all, but the geeky child in me giggled at all the corseted bosoms, and theatre geeks.
It was fun. A few acres jam-packed with what are supposedly Medeval games, foods, crafts, foods, sword fighting, foods on a stick, jousting, fried foods on a stick and kid friendly shows. I especially enjoyed the jalapeno cheeseburger fries. (I hear they were popular among the Knights of the Round Table.)
I plan on going back at a time when I am not chaperoning my nephew, or parents. It was fun to experience it all through a child's eyes, but I look forward to returning at a time when I can be more adult. Nothing combines history and fun like plastic cups of light beer, a smoked turkey leg, and the battle axe toss!
Monday, September 10, 2007
Britney Blunder.
This morning on the news there was a story on Britney Spears' performance on the MTV Music Awards. Apparently it didn't go well but the rest of the event was a smash.
Then on the way to work today Howard Stern was discussing it. Apparently Britney was bad, and the rest of the show was horrendous.
Then I logged on to my email this morning before class and there was an article on her performance along with a video. I watched it. It wasn't the worst thing I've ever seen. The article talked about flubbed lip-synching, a bad wardrobe, and poor quality of her performance but was under the opinion that the Awards Ceremony was a huge success.
So, today in my TV Production class someone brings up Britney Spears. We were discussing celebrity news, and her name popped up so I used her career as an illustration of a story line. Cute little child star - Fresh-faced Pop Newcomer - Pop Superstar - Hollywood Celebrity - Mrs. Federline - Mother - Divorced - Wild Child - Bald - Cannon Fodder for Jay Leno, etc.
We skipped all of the beaver shots, and acts of hedonism that wouldn't be appropriate to discuss in a school environment. We ended the time line with Britney's MTV performance. One of my students asked with what appeared to be genuine concern, "What's going to happen to her?"
I confessed that I couldn't be sure and that that is what makes her story interesting. The news is how will she respond to the criticism and uber negative, vicious comments being posted on-line about her? What will be her next move? Will her star rise again or be trampled under the foot of that slack-jawed, oafish, tempermental beast known as Fame? I then told them that during the course of the semester if they spotted any Britney Spears News to bring it to class and we would update the story line.
They seemed to enjoy the class.
Monday, September 03, 2007
Limping Through The Sky
I don't have one.
1 minute later & the umbrella was secure, my phone call prematurely terminated and my kite, once again, floating in the Chesapeake Bay. So I waded in after my cheap, plastic dragon kite which cost me $2. I rescue it.
Unfortunately, the string has come unwound and caught up in the rocks of the shoreline. I work against the rising tide to untangle the tangle. I get free, only to be confronted by the single worst, monstrosity of a knot ever to be seen on a string.
Part of me wants to just say, "Fuck It!" Throw the string into the bay and forget about my little lame dragon. But I don't.
I spent close to a half hour working on that knot. Yeah, okay, a half hour isn't that long but it seems like an eternity when your working on a knot. I did it. Freed the dragon, fought down my impatience and lived to tell the tale... and all for a kite.
Sometimes the little victories are the sweetest.
Monday, August 27, 2007
My First Day With The Kids.
"My favorite animal is the BLUE WHALE... The largest animal to ever live on the planet! Shut up! It is TOO!" (No one had raised an objection before the outburst.)
"I'm Doing Yoga!"
"Huh, Mister 'Corn On The...'"
"2 Unbelievable SONOROUS Farts!" *
* Window-Rattling! Ear-popping! Thunderous! - It was hard to keep a straigh face.
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Let Me Get This Straight
I just started a new job. I won't get paid for another 3 weeks. I have less than $2oo bucks to my name, no savings account to speak of, an 80 mile round trip commute per day and gas is $2.68 per gallon, not to mention the overdue bills that we're having to gloss over and a wedding to plan... the clock is ticking; just 3 months to go.
JEEEEZUS! I hate to go begging for more money. When will I feel like an adult?
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Vitality 5
That also means that my script will be produced AGAIN.
I couldn't have been happier with the production. The director, my friend Erin Rooney, really nailed the show. She created a very specific world, and cast a talented group of actors to breathe life into the show. Each of the three actors, 1 M & 2 F, were wonderfully zany, committed to their roles and had their time to shine onstage. (I actually enjoy laughing at a show with the audience, sometimes I am the only one amused by my writings.)
There are past shows that I am proud of, there are shows that I wish could be revised and produced again, but this was the most fun I've ever had watching a show that I've written. So thank you Rooney, and thank you to the cast: Neil Arsenty (The Walrus), Erin Orr (The Carpenter), and Aubrey Brown (The Solicitor). Break A Leg At Abbie Hoffman!
Friday, August 10, 2007
My Yesterday
10:20 PM- The time posted for our flight delay due to inclement weather.
11:45 PM- The second time given for departure, after our flight delay, which actually was the departure time for Southwest Flight 806 originally schedule to leave at 2:30 PM.
12:30 AM - Yet another projected time of departure for Southwest Flight 1717.
1:15 AM - The time that our flight actually taxied to the runway for departure.
2:00 AM - (Central Time Zone) I step off of my quick little flight to Chicago for the weekend.
I spent a long time in the airport yesterday, and I wasn't the only one. Apparently there were weather fronts, and storm warnings and all kinds of delay causing phenomenon. Many flights were delayed and even cancelled. When I walked through the terminal in Chicago there were dozens of people sleeping on cots that the airlines had put out for the stranded.
My Day Before Yesterday
It’s different this time. She’s not showing symptoms. She’s not ill. Her Cancer Indicators are rising, and a scan has revealed a tumor, or something in her abdomen. This procedure is to head the Cancer off at the pass. Go in, take a look around for other signs of the disease, remove the tumor, and get ready for some serious chemo. She’s been cancer free for several years now.
The operation took a good part of the day. We camped out in the waiting room; trying to read our books, listen to music, watch a little TV. Anything to keep our thoughts off of the ticking clock. The day crept by.
The surgery went well. The tumor was removed, and sent away for testing. There didn’t appear to be other signs of Cancer. Her doctor felt really good about the outcome. We all shook his hand and thanked him very much. Then I went outside to call my brothers and give them an update.
*An interesting side note here is that my mother is being treated at Walter Reed. It’s a military hospital here in D.C. and apparently it is where many wounded soldiers get sent when they come home from Iraq. I saw at least ten wounded soldiers during the course of the day. Now I watch the news, and I hear the reports of roadside bombs, wounded soldiers, etc,, but seeing those soldiers walking through the halls of the hospital on prosthetic legs, or in wheelchairs acutely aware of their newly amputated limbs puts it all in a different light.
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Good Bye Duckworth
Despite the many struggles, the bruises and scrapes I really liked most of my students and I will miss seeing them everyday.
I will miss walking the halls and seeing all of the little faces light up when they see me.
I will miss hearing my name butchered by less articulate tongues.
I will miss the high fives.
I will some of my coworkers.
Here's hoping I fit in so well at my new job.
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Thursday, July 19, 2007
"He pooped in the pool!"
I'll pass.
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Scalpels and Silliness.
He talked about operating on gummi worms, dressing up in scrubs and getting to administer a TB Shot to an orange.
Now I must admit I have been a M*A*S*H addict since I was a youngster, and I do enjoy gummied candy but I know full well that when I was 12 I would have not been heading off to a hospital for Day Camp. I may not have been the toughest bully on the block but I fo'sho would've passed over the band geeks to beat me up some Jr. MD's.
Monday, July 16, 2007
It's Official
I'm going to try to make it into town for the show, but between my fiance's opening weekend, my mother's upcoming surgery, and my starting a new job it might not happen.
Any Chicago friends got a couch I can crash on?
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
I am confused at this random announcement. "What papers?"
"My divorce papers," she explains, "It's about to be final."
"Oh, that's too bad,"I offer. "I remember you said things were rough a while back."
"It got worse. He walked out. Just decided he didn't want to be married anymore."
"Sorry."
"So I called my lawyer. This is my second divorce," - I can't tell if she's bragging or not - "I don't fool around. So you know what I did?"
"I can't even begin to guess."
She takes a deep breath and then says, "I went out dancing. Last Friday. My husband came over to get somethings and I answered the door wearing a tank top, tight jeans and 2 inch heels. He had to sit down. He had to wait until I left before he could stand up. I know my husband and I know why he couldn't stand up."
EW!
"I already got a guy's number," she adds. "I told him we can't do anything yet. But soon as this divorce is finalized I'm gonna give him a call."
There were other details, about the four kids, the lack of explanations, the hurt feelings, and such. I realize I am easy to talk to but, come on... hold somethings back. I don't need all of the details. Somethings could be private.
Weird.
DAMN! It hits me twenty minutes down the road...
He's the check out guy at my liquor store. His face is that familiar to me. There's a possibility I've been going in to his establishment too much as of late.
Monday, July 09, 2007
It's just a kite
Thursday, July 05, 2007
The 4th
Lazing around with the little woman.
Splashing around in the Severn River with my Niece & Nephew.
Blue Cheese Burgers with the family.
It was a pretty good holiday. Even got to see some fireworks through the trees.
Monday, July 02, 2007
Walk Softly
A girl steps up to him and says, "Go put your book bag on the steps and sit down."
"No!"
"Put your book bag on the step and sit down."
"No!"
She takes a step towards him and says, "You don't tell me no. Book bag on the steps and sit down.... Now!"
The director of the aftercare hears the tension in her voice and comes racing over. He knows this young man. He's dealt with the stubbornness. He's felt the blows rain down in frustration. "Whoa Whoa, I got him. I got him. It's okay. Don't upset him. I'll deal with him. You get the little kids."
The girl almost seems offended. "What? Why? What's he going to do?"
I chime in, "He's been know to try and put your head through the table."
She turns around and sees me for the first time. The director nods apologetically and says, "He just needs time to adjust. It's new for him."
"Yeah, and they switched his classroom. He's in 14 with me," I add.
The director pales and asks,"What? Are you serious?"
"Yeah, he's been on edge all day." I turn to the girl and say, "Good luck!"
Friday, June 22, 2007
Here's The 411
I don't think I ever was.
I use the phone to make quick calls, let people know where I am, and maybe to pay a bill or two.
I don't ever just get on the phone to shoot the breeze or kill time.
So don't take it personally if I get off the phone abruptly once I realize you have nothing to say.
Oh, and if I'm short with you - I don't mean to offend - I'm five minutes away, I'm coming over, can't you wait until I get there to tell me your interesting story or ask me your crucial question?
Thank Gawd for voice mail.
* This post was not directed to anyone in specific but if you are offended, family members of mine, feel free not to call me and tell me about your feelings. Thanks.
Sunday, June 17, 2007
Let's Go O's
It was fun to go back to the stadium. I haven't seen an Orioles' game in Baltimore since before I moved to Chicago in 1998. I always tried to see the Orioles whenever they came through the Windy City to play the White Sox, but it's just not the same.
We lost. Oh well, I don't know why I thought our presence and my rally cap would end the 7 Game losing streak.
Not My Proudest Moment
What? Don't judge me! Little bastard got one whole shiny quarter for his troubles.
Saturday, June 16, 2007
Sad But True
"Yeah, I think I've heard of that," I respond, "It's buried in a cemetery somewhere right between 'respect for your elders' and 'chivalry'."
Another coworker just shakes her head and laments, "It's true. Sad, but true."
Friday, June 15, 2007
Did I leave the coffee on?
Did I leave the water in the sink running. (Sometimes I do.)
Where the hell did I put my checkbook? (Always in a place where I'm sure I'll remember it.)
Did I just drive to work in my slippers? (Even today.)
Did I leave the coffee on? (This gets me every day.) Even if I have turned it off I can never fully remember switching the pot to the off setting. Sometimes I obsess about the oven... even if I haven't baked anything in weeks. I'll be half way to work and wonder about the oven or the coffee pot and start to worry. I'll worry for 2 hours... then I'll forget about it and start rummaging around for my checkbook.
Thursday, June 14, 2007
You Can Catch More Flies With Honey Than You Can Being A Snatch!
Last Day Of School
All I have to do is get through the day. We're watching a movie right now. Then we'll have lunch, maybe go outside afterwards. Soon after that we may watch another movie and then it'll be time to go home.
C'mon 2 o'Clock!
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
2nd To The Last Day Of School
- First we had breakfast. Breakfast is finished.
- Now we are doing Opening.
- After Opening we will go outside for some free time.
- After free time we will go inside for some... um, er... free time.
- When free time is finished we will have even more free time.
- First free time, then Lunch.
- After lunch we will have free time and then maybe watch a movie.
- After the movie it will be time to go home."
I still have one more day of school to fill with free time and other various activities. This last week has lasted a semester already.
In other news, I got my tentative class assignment for Summer school. I'll have two of my students, the 'interesting' two, and five kids from the secondary autism class. I love the secondary class but a few of these kids are like six feet tall and 250lbs. I hope I don't have to change their diapers.
Saturday, June 09, 2007
I Could Never Be Hunter...
But that doesn't make me less of a man, does it? I'm still tough. I drink beer! I look at girlie mags! I have a beard! I'm a man's man... does that sound gay? I'm a dude!
Poor Sweet Little Turtle:(
Monday, June 04, 2007
Family, Crabs, Remote Control & A Baklava Sundae
There were touching stories, tributes, and a slide show. My mother cried several times even though she insisted that no one should cry because it was a celebration. It was a fun time.
On Saturday we all got together at my parents' house and had a cookout/crabfeast. Aunts and Uncles, Nieces and Nephews, and the children running around like maniacs. I bought a little Dragon Kite to fly for my nephew. It ended up in the bay. I fished it out but it was lame having lost a leg.
On Sunday I went to a picnic - it was a lovely day for a picnic, wasn't it? - to meet a group of young boys with whom I will be working over the Summer. It's a class to teach young children with disabilities to converse with others, and develop social skills. The boys were pretty nice, and they asked me to play Remote Control. Basically, you sit in the circle and someone has a remote control. When they point it at you and say, "Click", you have to start performing a TV show, commercial, news report, etc. When they lose interest or want to move on to the next person they say, "Click" and you have to stop. One of the boys, an Animal Planet Fanatic, kept doing documentary style introductions about lush tropical forests, fierce predators, and the clouded leopards named Ty. This Summer should be interesting.
We finished off the weekend by attending a GreekFest at a Church near my brother's house. We got in at the tail end of celebration and there was no Ouzo left, but we did enjoy some Spanikopita, Pasticcio, and a Baklava Sundae that was very popular with the nephew. The pouring rain didn't damper our adopted Grecian Pride as we sat beneath a tent and watched the children dance to the extraordinarily loud Greek Music pumping through the speakers.
It was an eventful weekend.
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Lucky Me
No, you didn't read that wrong -
Yes, 10 years -
No, I'm not kidding -
Yes, I have been clinically diagnosed with DUMB ASS! -
... but I went today to my family dentist. No Cavities! None! Teeth are fine. Well, not exactly. 10 years of plaque built up is not something toe laugh at. The woman scraped my teeth until I thought I would cry. I hope the poor Dental Assistant doesn't get Carpal Tunnel.
It was like the Spanish Inquisition.
Jab! Jab! Scrape! SCREAM!
Scrape! Poke! Prod! SCREAM!
(& Repeat Endlessly)
Blood? I spit out so much blood today you would've thought that I went the distance with Rocky Balboa.
It sure as hell won't be another 10 years before my next visit.
Monday, May 28, 2007
"Today I Didn't Even Have To Use My A.K..."
Spent the day chillin' on the beach with my Honey. Splashing in the river with my nephew. Reading a book. Walking my dog. Enjoying the weather.
* From Ice Cube's It Was A Good Day
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Now I Get It... I Think...
Brief synopsis: Sully is an uninspired poet who is trapped between his past and present relationships. He must choose between the woman he used to care about and the girlfriend he doesn't know how to love.
A friend of mine, also a writer, saw the show and said to me, "I never realized how religious you are."
The comment was never explained. Upon further reading of the script, I think I have figured out why he made that remark.
In the script there are scenes where Sully reads postcards from Kate, his ex. Sully had manufactured a 'Taming of The Shrew' parallel in their relationship and she often is often referred to in Shakespeare's words. She is called 'My Super Dainty Kate. Kate, The Cursed. Kate of Katehall.' and 'The prettiest Kate in Christendom'.
It's the last one that I think fooled him. He's a pastor's son and maybe didn't get the reference to the Shakespeare play. Instead he might have heard something or other about the Kingdom of Christ!
That's not what I intended, but an interesting interpretation.
More Rage!
Monday, May 14, 2007
A Belated Birthday Gift
Here's the long and short of it. My parents are getting their carpet replaced so we spent some time Saturday unpacking certain items in their house to make the furniture easier to move. We we moving stacks and stacks of books that have been on their bookcase for years when suddenly a title catches my eye.
Frankenstein or The Modern Prometheus
I love the original Frankenstein. I've even found a script based on the Mary Shelley novel that I would love to direct. It's called Playing With Fire (after Frankenstein) by Barbara Field. The play retells the story as Victor and the Monster take a break from their chase and try to sort things out.
Anyway, this particular novel on my parents' bookshelf is a hard covered book, copyright in 1962. I've seen it a hundred times but never picked it up. I start to ask about the book when my father informs me that the book is mine. It was given to my father on the night I was born by a buddy of his and it is inscribed to me.
It reads, "...You do not know know me, but I sat with your father on the night you were born. I hope you will read and enjoy this and read many more. -Colin Richardson, 28 April 1975 at Andrews Air Force Base, Maryland"
I thought that was cool.
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Mother's Day
By the way, 5K, sure it's no marathon but it's nothing to sneeze at either. We finished in just over an hour. I had my nephew on my shoulders for a good part of the trek; we sang songs and told jokes to pass the time. It was a good day.
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
News Flash
In the one corner we have a rich girl who is like a bird. She want's to fly away.
In the other corner we have a 'Kids Incorporated' Alumn, another rich girl, who's got lady lumps.
Let's Get Ready To Rumble! This is a really relevant scoop.
In other news, over the weekend there were killer tornados, the Queen drank a few Mint Juleps, SpiderMan 3 disappointed and a bunch of people died in Iraq. Just in case you weren't paying attention.
TECHNO-RAGE
The limited access to the internet is why I've been remiss in updating my blog.
But when I tried to log in just now my password was not 'recognized'. So I had the password sent to my email, but instead they sent a notice to my email about how I forgot my passowrd and to click on a link to get my password. The link leads me to a page that askes me if I wanted to check my email. 6 TIMES! 6 TIMES! I went back and forth and grit my teeth before finally just having to reset my GD password. What is all of this technology accomplishing, really?
Monday, April 23, 2007
The Bachelor
Saturday, April 21, 2007
I Agree, It Is The Little Things
I also enjoy it when she does the dishes:)
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
What Do You Mean 'Pacifically'?
Today in class we gave our class presentations. The old rocker AKA the 1st Most Annoying Woman in the World gave hers. Presentations were all on teaching reading and/or language and literacy. She said 'Pacifically' or 'Pacific' at least ten times.
"This pacific example is..."
"You would answer this pacific question..."
The first few times I rolled my eyes. Then my neighbor leaned forward and whispered, "Pacific? Are you kidding me?" We laughed.
Then our other neighbor looked up and said, "What? Pacific?" The giggles started to grow.
I look across the classroom and another student in class makes eye contact with me and makes a funny face and waits for the next 'pacific' incident. She just cracks a smile and mouths, "Pacific?"
This is a teacher. She says 'Pacific' when she specifically means 'Specific'. I don't hold out much hope for the students.
Headache!
The women's shirts are tiny!
The men's enormous!
Bitch Bitch Bitch Bitch! Complaint after Complaint!
Return the shirts! Change the style! Change my size!
Special ordered... Embroidered... Special Ordered! I only order what was requested!
I have a headache.
* See previous posts and you will learn that teachers, in general, are whiners! I work with teachers... they whine! I take classes with teachers... they whine. My friends are teachers... they whine. I'm a teacher and I am whining.
What The Hell Is Wrong With People: Part II
Course the accident wouldn't have happened if the two dipshits were home reading a book or had actual hobbies!
People Are Stupid! People Suck!
Sunday, April 15, 2007
2 things I learned today.
- I know about Tesla the band but not that much about Tesla the inventor. I watched 'Coffee & Cigarettes', and they talked about Tesla's Coil.
- I actually like Pickled Beets. We were dinner guests and beets were offered. I accepted and went back for seconds. They were quite good.
*Another Earth Shattering Post, I Realize.
Saturday, April 14, 2007
What The Hell Is Wrong With People?
Some immoral, demented, soulless bastards broke into a local elementary school, stole harsh cleaning chemicals (Sulphuric Acid) and poured them all over nearby playground equipment. Some poor two year old boy slides down the slide and winds up having to be taken to the Emergency Room with 2ND and 3RD degrees burn on his body. A TODDLER burned by acid because some shithead was playing a prank! I can't imagine what kind of person would commit such a crime!
JESUS CHRIST, PEOPLE SUCK!
Monday, April 09, 2007
The Egg Hunt
All in the name of Christianity and a big fluffy rabbit.
Disappointed
She was disappointed. The teacher. She told one of my group members that I should have 'Stepped Up' and taken charge. I should have shouldered more of the burden.
It's group project, lady. Groups have weak links. I did my part, and shouldn't be blamed for the shortcomings of others. Group projects are not easy.
I work better alone.
Sunday, April 01, 2007
April Fools Day Blues
Lately I've been a little under the weather. Tired alot these days, as well. Maybe I'm getting old. Maybe I'm becoming boring. Maybe I've lost my mischevious desires. Maybe Peter Pan is dead.
Or I've just been a little distracted. There may be an opportunity for me to change my job once again. It would combine my two passions of theatre and working with special needs children. It could be great, but there are so many factors to take into consideration. (Salary, benefits, commute, another moveetc.) It's not turning out to be a black and white issue, especially now since the wedding's been postponed indefinitely. Oh well, I'll figure things out.
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Valuable Class Time
Come on, people. Pay attention. This will be on your final. You'll need to know this. This is very important.
Sunday, March 18, 2007
Luck O D Irish...
The highlight of my weekend had to be giving a statement to the police. Man, it felt good performing my civic duty. I saw it all! I squealed like a stool pigeon about the brawl and my stupid ass even gave my personal info to the officer writing the report. I hope this BS doesn't go to trial...
Ah... the city life. How I miss it.
Saturday, March 10, 2007
Yesterday...
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
Le Quack
-Overheard at a local coffee shop while trying to read a chapter for my special education class. I found it strangely appropriate.
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
'No Frame Of Reference'
Everyone in class pulls out a piece of paper and starts to draw a swing. Everyone except one woman; one annoying woman. Not the most annoying student in the class but definitely one of the top three. She makes a show of not drawing a swing.
The teacher notices and says, "Draw a swing. Draw a swing."
The annoying woman says, "I have no frame of reference."
"Just draw whatever comes to mind. Draw a swing."
Times passes. The teacher requests to see the drawings. Students one by one show their sketches. Swing sets. Tire Swings. Love Seats.
We come to the annoying woman and she says, "I didn't really know what to draw. I have never been on a swing in my life. Where I went to school in New York, my school didn't have swings. I have no frame of reference."
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?
That's your excuse? The teacher asked for everyone to draw a swing so she could illustrate a point about individuality and perception and you manufacture such a lame ass eccentricity? You're, what, late fifties, early sixties and you expect everyone in class to believe in your lifetime, not to mention your many years of teaching young children that you haven't been exposed to the extremely rare and mostc exotic of playground equipment: the swing set?
Come On! At that point, several other students in the class envisioned what it would be like to violently kick an old woman in the head and at least one of them smiled at the thought.
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
You Know What I Hate?
Suddenly, after 15 minutes in line, another cashier opens, and what crucial mistake does that cashier make? That cashier says, "The next person in line can step over."
The Next Person! NEXT PERSON!
That means, that if five people are still in front of me - the loud, ignorant, class-less family who have never fully committed to the check out line and are at least 6 customers back should not be able to scream, "Hey Yo, that's us and race their cart full of crap to cashier #4."
People! People! What ever happened to courtesy? Didn't your parents ever teach you not to be so stupid?
Friday, February 23, 2007
Sara's 30th
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Trying To Work
In the meantime, I've been dusting off a few scripts to submit in the weeks to come. And I realized that even though scripts have been selected/produced before doesn't mean that I can't re-submit them for different companies. There are a few script that I would love to see staged again.
ICE
Thursday, February 08, 2007
In Over My Head?
Waiting tables. Serving cocktails. Shipping & Receiving boxes of 'product'. Various other odd jobs over the years that didn't really amount to much. I worked my shifts then went home without a care in the world. There were no consequences. If I messed up - well, I didn't really sweat it.
Oops, I messed up your order! You said medium-rare not medium! I Am So Sorry!
Oops, I thought you said Miller Lite!
Oops, I must have forgotten to order your dessert .This one's on me!
Oh, to go back in time and have a job where the worst that could happen is you upset some poor yuppie who asked for a 'half-decaf, half skim, room-temperature latte with a couple shots of cinnamon syrup, and a dab of foam... I said dab! It is so hard to find good help these days!'.
As it stands, I have been at my job for 3 months and I am swamped with paperwork, taking classes to get certified, and am responsible for deciding upon and implementing the educational objectives for four young men whom I hardly know. I will decide their next year of instruction. Me. This guy right here. Oh, did I mention this is my first time teaching?
I'm still getting used to the work hours! Cut me some slack!
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
The Note
She stands and crosses the room. The professor continues with her lecture; I think the teacher learned to just ignore this troublesome student.
She steps to my desk and I look up into her wrinkled eyes. She's somebody's mother - probably somebody's grandma. She's an educated black woman and she's gonna let everyone know!
She hands me the note, and waits for my response. It's the middle of class and she wants an instant reply. The note says
I'm an old rocker. Is your hat the group?
- My hat is emblazoned with an AC/DC logo and a few thunderbolts.
I tell her yes it was the group. She says, "I thought so. I'm an old rocker myself. You should see my Black Sabbath collection."
She returns to her seat, and the teacher lectures on.
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
You Learn Something New Every Day
Here are a few things I learned tonight in my Reading class.
- There is something worse than 'Too Many Cooks In The Kitchen', and that is 'Too Many Teachers In A Classroom. (My class is comprised of all teachers, and a few of them feel the need to try and out-teach the course instructor.)
- Put Teachers in a classroom environment and they will spend their time complaining about the status quo, and trying to show others how smart they are.
- Repeating a fact or statement one Millisecond after it is announced by the teacher does not, in fact, prove that you possessed the knowledge beforehand, no matter how many times you try it.
Here are a few things I knew before tonight's class but would like to comment on.
- Pacific is NEVER interchangeable with the word Specific... NEVER! If you find yourself giving someone a Pacific example of something I hope you are talking about a peaceful gesture or an ocean.
- If you have to have instructions such as 'Mark the third sentence of the second paragraph on page eight' repeated to you 12 times before you understand it maybe you should shut the hell up and pay attention!
- When a teacher is making a point, it is unnecessary to exclaim, 'Right' or 'Correct' or even 'That's For Sure' after every 3 words. It is much less annoying, and time-consuming if you wait until the whole statement is finished before simply, silently, nodding your head in agreement!
(Don't get the wrong idea. There were things, useful things, that I learned in tonight's class but boy-o-boy so far the annoyances have far outnumbered the nuggets of wisdom. I also, believe it or not, have respect and appreciate several of my classmates but feel it would be unfair to name them 'Pacifically'.)
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
American WTF?
I'm a Special Education teacher and I keep wondering if I've seen these rejects wandering the halls of my school. Mentally retarded - Autistic - Touched - something is not right! How do you keep a straight face? Is this year's competition sponsered by the Special Olympics?
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Old Pursuits
But not this past weekend. No, instead I read a Tennessee Williams play that I really love, drank some coffee and tweaked three of my own scripts in the process. It's the first time since the move that I made an effort to sit at the computer and revise my own writing. Two of the scripts I have been working on for quite some time and I am aiming to submit them within the next few weeks. The third script was just a fun little idea I had which has led me into a completely different realm than I originally planned.
Writing has been a big part of who I am for as long as I can remember. It would be a shame to let my new 'career' overwhelm that passion. I must remember to write.
Sunday, January 07, 2007
It made me giggle
My Kid Got Autism From A Vaccine And All I Got Was This Lousy Bumper Sticker!
The New Year!
I can't believe it's here already. Last year was busy year for us what with all of the changes we dealt with it seemed like the new year would never get here, but thakfully it has.
The holidays were good. Spent time with family, read a book that was in no way related to my job, and tried to relax. I was excited to have a 'winter break', but it, too, flew by.
So here we are, Jan 2007 and all of the sudden my job kicks into high gear. In the next week I have to gather, and organize all of my data collection on my students and their educational goals so that I can write progress reports (We don't give ABC grades), I have to rework my entire Alt Msa binder as I have made mistakes on every single objective, and I have several meetings about my students to review their current status. It's all a bit overwhelming for a guy whose getting on the job training by being thrown to the wolves.
This semester I will start back to school, taking classes towards my certification, so hopefully pieces will start falling into place and my general anxiety about fumbling through the first few months of my job will be replaced by my expanding knowledge and a sense of ease. To think last year this time all I had to worry about was pouring Sangria and learning a new wine list. It's funny for me to look back and remember the times I freaked out when I would mess up someone's drink order, or forgot to order a desert - teaching's just a little more involved, and I'm guessing the consequences are more significant.
Oh well, you know the old saying - Anything worth doing is something that you may not always feel like doing at the time, or probably were never shown the proper way to do, and might eventually look back and say 'wow, why did I do that thing that way when I should have done that thing this other way?'. (Not really sure of the exact quote.)