So sometimes I rant & rave about the injustices in my life!
I don't make enough money!
I still haven't gotten my raise!
I'm unemployed, and it's my fault!
I have no direction in life!
Sometimes I throw myself a little pity party. I fumble through a little post about my misery, and discomfort. I vomit out a little sarcastic, not-so witty blurb that's amazingly unoriginal, and go to bed vindicated.
Then in the middle of the night as I stare at the ceiling of my bedroom, I think about other people with real concerns, real problems and real injustices. Bombs tear London apart... friends battle illness... children go missing from their homes... everyday lives are lost due to senseless violence... and I'm having a hard time finding a job after less than a week?
Sometimes I feel like a little drama queen but very manly.
Friday, July 08, 2005
Thursday, July 07, 2005
Still Unemployed.
Calm down, it's only been two days.
Yeah, but I've been putting applications out, and faxing resumes for a couple of weeks now. True, I've had two interviews.
The 1st one ignored my experience, work history, loyalty, and willingness to learn and only focused on what I didn't have... breasts! Seriously, the guy gave a 25 minute interview to the hot blonde before me, who was younger, less experienced and had scheduling conflicts. She got a rundown on the restaurant's concept, a brief summary of his qualifications, and work history, not to mention a five minute spiel on the wine list. He talked so much when he stepped away from the table she turned to me and asked me, "Is he talking a lot? I feel like I haven't said a word." Me? I got, "Tell me about your last job. Do you have any wine experience? I'll call you later to set up a second interview." I'm still waiting and he doesn't return my calls... not that he'd be the best boss.
My 2nd interview, which I had today because my baby brother talked to someone at his work, was less discouraging. I don't have fine dining experience and most places that have fine dining require fine dining experience and won't hire you without the fine dining experience that no one will hire you without. Anyway, we agreed on my lack of fine dining experience but agreed on my abundance of other experience, and my willingness to learn. I, supposedly, have a second interview to be scheduled for the beginning of the week, then possibly start of training as a lunch server, since lunches are apparently less formal and fine than dinners. I'll wait and see. Of course if this job works out I may owe my little brother a favor.
The frustrating thing is that noone is ever in as big a hurry to hire me as I am to be hired! Put me in training. Great! Get me on the schedule. Outstanding! Hire me on a trial basis. Hooray! I don't care! I will make it work. Just don't tell me to check back in a few weeks. No, I need a job now.
My bills are overdue!
I have a future to think about!
I'd love to start one of those saving account thingamabobbers I hear grown ups talk about!
Come on, Lady Luck, throw me a bone.
The worse part is I get the feeling that the job I worked for nearly five years is hurting my chances of getting hired. I can't be sure. It's happened before when I've applied for jobs in the restaurant industry. People see the name of my former employer, and due to popular misconceptions assume that I didn't really work hard, or didn't get the proper training to be a good server/bartender. It wasn't a 'Here's your menu. How would you like your burger cooked?', full service restaurant so I must be a sub-par worker. In five years I was a server, bartender, trainer, and shift supervisor. I was flown to other states to train staff for the restaurant. I was always asked to join the opening crews for new locations. I was offered, on numerous occasions, management level positions which I declined in favor of earning tips; more money/less B.S! I busted my ass for that company before getting terminated for a gross misunderstanding, and now their name on my resume has interviewers shaking their head before the first question is asked. What can I do? Without listing them on my resume I have a 5 year gap in my employment history, not counting various other odd jobs, summer employment and false starts I may have had.
I guess it doesn't matter. When an opportunity presents itself I'll seize it and make the most of it... until a better opportunity presents itself and then I'll jump on that train.
Yeah, but I've been putting applications out, and faxing resumes for a couple of weeks now. True, I've had two interviews.
The 1st one ignored my experience, work history, loyalty, and willingness to learn and only focused on what I didn't have... breasts! Seriously, the guy gave a 25 minute interview to the hot blonde before me, who was younger, less experienced and had scheduling conflicts. She got a rundown on the restaurant's concept, a brief summary of his qualifications, and work history, not to mention a five minute spiel on the wine list. He talked so much when he stepped away from the table she turned to me and asked me, "Is he talking a lot? I feel like I haven't said a word." Me? I got, "Tell me about your last job. Do you have any wine experience? I'll call you later to set up a second interview." I'm still waiting and he doesn't return my calls... not that he'd be the best boss.
My 2nd interview, which I had today because my baby brother talked to someone at his work, was less discouraging. I don't have fine dining experience and most places that have fine dining require fine dining experience and won't hire you without the fine dining experience that no one will hire you without. Anyway, we agreed on my lack of fine dining experience but agreed on my abundance of other experience, and my willingness to learn. I, supposedly, have a second interview to be scheduled for the beginning of the week, then possibly start of training as a lunch server, since lunches are apparently less formal and fine than dinners. I'll wait and see. Of course if this job works out I may owe my little brother a favor.
The frustrating thing is that noone is ever in as big a hurry to hire me as I am to be hired! Put me in training. Great! Get me on the schedule. Outstanding! Hire me on a trial basis. Hooray! I don't care! I will make it work. Just don't tell me to check back in a few weeks. No, I need a job now.
My bills are overdue!
I have a future to think about!
I'd love to start one of those saving account thingamabobbers I hear grown ups talk about!
Come on, Lady Luck, throw me a bone.
The worse part is I get the feeling that the job I worked for nearly five years is hurting my chances of getting hired. I can't be sure. It's happened before when I've applied for jobs in the restaurant industry. People see the name of my former employer, and due to popular misconceptions assume that I didn't really work hard, or didn't get the proper training to be a good server/bartender. It wasn't a 'Here's your menu. How would you like your burger cooked?', full service restaurant so I must be a sub-par worker. In five years I was a server, bartender, trainer, and shift supervisor. I was flown to other states to train staff for the restaurant. I was always asked to join the opening crews for new locations. I was offered, on numerous occasions, management level positions which I declined in favor of earning tips; more money/less B.S! I busted my ass for that company before getting terminated for a gross misunderstanding, and now their name on my resume has interviewers shaking their head before the first question is asked. What can I do? Without listing them on my resume I have a 5 year gap in my employment history, not counting various other odd jobs, summer employment and false starts I may have had.
I guess it doesn't matter. When an opportunity presents itself I'll seize it and make the most of it... until a better opportunity presents itself and then I'll jump on that train.
Monday, July 04, 2005
Independence!
-And how did you spend this fabulous weekend?
Drinking. Partying with friends, grilling out, playing bocci, drinking cheap beer and margaritas and kicking back!
-Celebrating your country's independence, right?
*(Burp)* Our country is independent? Independent of who? What the hell are you talking about?
-The Fourth Of July! You know, independence day? George Washington, Thomas Jefferson and all that historical stuff!
Was that this past weekend? No wonder I kept seeing all those flags. I just thought ACE Hardware had a sale! Hey, Happy Fourth Of July to you!
-Thank you. You too.
Man, I love this country! Now if only I could find a better job... oh, and healthcare would be nice.
Drinking. Partying with friends, grilling out, playing bocci, drinking cheap beer and margaritas and kicking back!
-Celebrating your country's independence, right?
*(Burp)* Our country is independent? Independent of who? What the hell are you talking about?
-The Fourth Of July! You know, independence day? George Washington, Thomas Jefferson and all that historical stuff!
Was that this past weekend? No wonder I kept seeing all those flags. I just thought ACE Hardware had a sale! Hey, Happy Fourth Of July to you!
-Thank you. You too.
Man, I love this country! Now if only I could find a better job... oh, and healthcare would be nice.
Friday, July 01, 2005
The End of Days
Did you ever see that Arnold Schwarzenegger movie? What a steamy pile of dog crap that was! Whew!
Anyway, I'm talking about my last day of work at my current job. Today! I don't exactly have a plan right now. I put in my notice three weeks ago, and even stayed on an extra week because I hadn't gotten any responses. I've put out mucho applications! I've been combing through the classifieds every week, and Craig's List. I even had an interview with a job earlier this week on my lunch break (supposedly a follow up interview is in the works) but still had to miss some work... and there's the problem.
I work 9:30 to 5:30 M-F. Most restaurants, bars, etc, ask that applications be turned in between 2-4, M-F. I work. That is also the time that they interview applicants; I'm at work. You see the dilemma? Finding another job becomes exponentially harder when I'm currently slaving away at my low-paying job.
So I am prepared to start not working, have my second interview that has yet to be scheduled, and hit the pavement with renewed vigor, and a growing sense of desperation. I've resigned. I'm searching for a new job and as of Tuesday I am unemployed. Again.
Anyway, I'm talking about my last day of work at my current job. Today! I don't exactly have a plan right now. I put in my notice three weeks ago, and even stayed on an extra week because I hadn't gotten any responses. I've put out mucho applications! I've been combing through the classifieds every week, and Craig's List. I even had an interview with a job earlier this week on my lunch break (supposedly a follow up interview is in the works) but still had to miss some work... and there's the problem.
I work 9:30 to 5:30 M-F. Most restaurants, bars, etc, ask that applications be turned in between 2-4, M-F. I work. That is also the time that they interview applicants; I'm at work. You see the dilemma? Finding another job becomes exponentially harder when I'm currently slaving away at my low-paying job.
So I am prepared to start not working, have my second interview that has yet to be scheduled, and hit the pavement with renewed vigor, and a growing sense of desperation. I've resigned. I'm searching for a new job and as of Tuesday I am unemployed. Again.
(Yes, I know the DQ is looking for help, PM.)
Wednesday, June 29, 2005
One Small Step
*As overheard by me tonight, sitting next to a booth of 5 Irishmen, in the Blue Bayou.
Irish Guy 1
Did you know Louis Armstrong died two days after his 71st birthday? Says so right there on the wall.
Irish Guy 3
Who's Louis Armstrong?
Irish Guy 2
He was an astronaut, stupid!
Irish Guy 3
That was Neil Armstrong, idiot!
Irish Guy 2
You don't know who the hell Louis Armstrong is, and I'm the idiot?
Irish Guy 4
Walked on the moon, didn't he?
Irish Guy 1
Nah, he played the trumpet!
Irish Guy 4
On the moon?
(Okay Okay Okay, so I made up the bit about playing the trumpet on the moon! It made me laugh when the dudes were coming down on #3 for not knowing Louis Armstrong, and then #4 confused him with an astronaut.)
Can I Buy A Damn Vowel?
I can't believe it! Vanna White is still doing Wheel of Fortune and she's hot as ever, well, as hot as a 48 year old woman can be.
Amazing! I get bored with a job after a few months. I can't imagine being at a place for 3 years let alone 23 years! How can she still be doing it? All she does is turn the tiles, blocks, lights, whatever! (Maybe it was an old rerun.) Don't get me wrong, I'm sure she's a great person, I know life's hard for everyone, and yes, I heard she used to rent Leer Jets in her off time. I'll be honest, I'd love it if I stumbled upon that iinfamous Playboy Issue. Vanna White still strutting her stuff on Wheel Of Fortune. Vanna. Vanna White...
Now I've got that song stuck in my head...
Amazing! I get bored with a job after a few months. I can't imagine being at a place for 3 years let alone 23 years! How can she still be doing it? All she does is turn the tiles, blocks, lights, whatever! (Maybe it was an old rerun.) Don't get me wrong, I'm sure she's a great person, I know life's hard for everyone, and yes, I heard she used to rent Leer Jets in her off time. I'll be honest, I'd love it if I stumbled upon that iinfamous Playboy Issue. Vanna White still strutting her stuff on Wheel Of Fortune. Vanna. Vanna White...
Now I've got that song stuck in my head...
Doctor, won't you tell me, am I going insane?
Was it something I ate, or something wrong with my brain?
See, I'm naked in church when I meet a dinosaur.
Try to run, but my feet have been nailed to the floor.
Then a midget pushes me through a revolving door,
And I'm back in the very same place I was before.
I'm stuck in a closet with Vanna White.
I'm stuck in a closet with Vanna White.
Night after night after night after night.
All right!
*Weird Al Yankovic's Stuck In A Closet With Vanna White
Yeah, I wish.
Monday, June 27, 2005
A Sharp & D Flat
So noone else thought it was weird. Our final project for the class is given out less than two hours before it's due and, granted, it was a basic music skills class but my subconscious registered that it was indeed a dream and I hadn't attended the class in nine years. It was fun to be back on the campus of my first college and see friends whom I hadn't seen in years. It was cool because I was attending classes as I am now.
Anyway, for the final project the class is split into two groups of five, given a song on sheet music and expected to perform the song for the professor and an audience. One person is selected to play the piano while the other members of the group merely have to sing along. I was selected to play the piano because as a child I took several years of lessons, and it was assumed I'd been paying attention in class. I hadn't.
I have a little over an hour to relearn how to play the piano and pull off a successful cover of, what in my dreams was probably a song by Chicago; I can't remember which one, the assigned music and fool my professor into passing me. So try to study. I try to will myself through the obstacle course of whole notes, quarters notes, scales, etc. I try my best but I have the feeling it's going to be a disaster.
Flash forward to the class final. Group A takes the stage. The piano player, obviously a ringer, starts to tickle the ivories and the song flows out of Group A effortlessly. Beautiful. Well rehearsed. Different! Something sounded different about the song than when I played it. OH NO! I quickly scan the sheet music and realize that I had completely overlooked all of the A Sharps & D Flats in the song. I thought it had sounded weird but my untrained ear could not pin point the problem.
I grab a highlighter and quickly try and scan the sheet music to highlight all of the offending notes so I won't miss them. (Is this cheating?) I only get half a page into the song before we are whisked onto the stage and expected to perform. Our group leader announces our group, and quickly recalls our rehearsal schedule, which I don't remember at all. The instructor gives us the greenlight. I look down at the keyboard and all of the sudden I'm 10 years old again and I haven't been keeping up with my practice. I can only play the melody with my right hand, pecking away with my index finger, all sharps are forgotten, all flats non-existent. I struggle through half the song as the audience cringes in discomfort. My group turns on me and start to plot my destruction. The instructor just buries his face into his hands.
I realize I will never pass the class. I will never graduate from college. I will never fulfill my dreams. I will never get that fabulous career and make enough money to support a family. I will end up on the streets, homeless and hungry; begging for change so I can buy a burger and smoking discarded butts out of the gutter. All because I forgot about the A Sharps & The D Flats! Nooooooooooooo!
Then I wake up.
(In reality, I passed that class with flying colors! I aced the piano test, and played the Ukelele like a pro!)
Anyway, for the final project the class is split into two groups of five, given a song on sheet music and expected to perform the song for the professor and an audience. One person is selected to play the piano while the other members of the group merely have to sing along. I was selected to play the piano because as a child I took several years of lessons, and it was assumed I'd been paying attention in class. I hadn't.
I have a little over an hour to relearn how to play the piano and pull off a successful cover of, what in my dreams was probably a song by Chicago; I can't remember which one, the assigned music and fool my professor into passing me. So try to study. I try to will myself through the obstacle course of whole notes, quarters notes, scales, etc. I try my best but I have the feeling it's going to be a disaster.
Flash forward to the class final. Group A takes the stage. The piano player, obviously a ringer, starts to tickle the ivories and the song flows out of Group A effortlessly. Beautiful. Well rehearsed. Different! Something sounded different about the song than when I played it. OH NO! I quickly scan the sheet music and realize that I had completely overlooked all of the A Sharps & D Flats in the song. I thought it had sounded weird but my untrained ear could not pin point the problem.
I grab a highlighter and quickly try and scan the sheet music to highlight all of the offending notes so I won't miss them. (Is this cheating?) I only get half a page into the song before we are whisked onto the stage and expected to perform. Our group leader announces our group, and quickly recalls our rehearsal schedule, which I don't remember at all. The instructor gives us the greenlight. I look down at the keyboard and all of the sudden I'm 10 years old again and I haven't been keeping up with my practice. I can only play the melody with my right hand, pecking away with my index finger, all sharps are forgotten, all flats non-existent. I struggle through half the song as the audience cringes in discomfort. My group turns on me and start to plot my destruction. The instructor just buries his face into his hands.
I realize I will never pass the class. I will never graduate from college. I will never fulfill my dreams. I will never get that fabulous career and make enough money to support a family. I will end up on the streets, homeless and hungry; begging for change so I can buy a burger and smoking discarded butts out of the gutter. All because I forgot about the A Sharps & The D Flats! Nooooooooooooo!
Then I wake up.
(In reality, I passed that class with flying colors! I aced the piano test, and played the Ukelele like a pro!)
Friday, June 24, 2005
Wrestling Pencils
When I was a little kid and I was bored I used to take two pencils and wrap a rubberband around them and then twist and twist and twist and twist until the rubberband was about to snap. Then I would place the pencils on my desk and let them go! They'd spin and jump and rattle and hop until the rubberband went slack and one pencil 'pinned' the other to the desk! This was Pencil Wrestling at its most exciting! I was a devoted fan!
Today at work, nothing to do, I rediscovered the wonders of Pencil Wrestling! I orchestrated my own Wrestling Pay-Per View their in the stock room! I named all of my Graphite Grapplers after real life wrestling legends! Now I know what you're saying, "All pencils look alike. How could this possibly be exciting to a thirty year old boy?" Well, it just was!
Today at work, nothing to do, I rediscovered the wonders of Pencil Wrestling! I orchestrated my own Wrestling Pay-Per View their in the stock room! I named all of my Graphite Grapplers after real life wrestling legends! Now I know what you're saying, "All pencils look alike. How could this possibly be exciting to a thirty year old boy?" Well, it just was!
Zip! Nada! Zero!
Nothing. That's exactly what's going on at work right now. There's nothing to do. They gave me Monday off; nothing to do. I left work early yesterday and today I can look forward to hours of filing merchandising catalogs and price sheets... all day long! I'm supposed to be at my current job for another week. Wheeeee!
On the new job search the word of the week is 'Nothing'. All of the leads I thought I had have dried up. "We're sorry our hiring manager came down with appendicitis." He really did, it's the truth. Unfortunately, it postpones the possibility of me getting that job. The owner of the other bar that said he could possibly use me has completely flaked and I'm not sure when I'll get another bite. (This is all just overdramatic angst. I could get a call over the weekend.)
But you know what's funny? Chubby Kittens! They're a riot! I'm not just talking about porky cats, no. I mean the kittens who are so fat they waddle. You're almost afraid that they're tiny little legs are going to snap off under their enormous load. Cats that are so fat that they're ball-like. They can't roll over onto their feet if you put them on their back, they just sit kicking their little legs, struggling against their impossible task and meowing to beat the band! They're like little furry soccer balls! It makes me giggle.
On the new job search the word of the week is 'Nothing'. All of the leads I thought I had have dried up. "We're sorry our hiring manager came down with appendicitis." He really did, it's the truth. Unfortunately, it postpones the possibility of me getting that job. The owner of the other bar that said he could possibly use me has completely flaked and I'm not sure when I'll get another bite. (This is all just overdramatic angst. I could get a call over the weekend.)
But you know what's funny? Chubby Kittens! They're a riot! I'm not just talking about porky cats, no. I mean the kittens who are so fat they waddle. You're almost afraid that they're tiny little legs are going to snap off under their enormous load. Cats that are so fat that they're ball-like. They can't roll over onto their feet if you put them on their back, they just sit kicking their little legs, struggling against their impossible task and meowing to beat the band! They're like little furry soccer balls! It makes me giggle.
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
Lost 11 Year Old Found
The 11-year-old boy, a boy scout, who spent four days lost in the Utah wilderness is reunited with his family. The boy's mother has been quoted as saying, "The heavens are not closed."
I prefer White Water Summer. An inspiring movie about an boy, Sean Astin, who's parents send their awkward son on an outward bound summer vacation. Kevin Bacon, the guide, is a hard ass who loves to commune with nature and takes offense at his groups inability to embrace the wilderness. Bacon flips out, smashes Sean's radio, frees the fish caught 'unfairly', and leaves the kids alone over night during a storm prompting a mutiny! The teens rebel and 'accidentally' throw Kevin off of a cliff... (Gasp) Then it's up to the pubescent city slickers to somehow come together, beat the odds and get out of the wilderness alive with an injured Kevin Bacon. It's wrought with tension and in the end Sean Astin shoots the rapids with Bacon in tow to save the day and go on to get cast in Encino Man several years later. Go Samwise Gamgee! Now that's exciting.
But hey, good for the boy that was recently saved from wandering aimlessly in the woods for days, and thanks to all the Mormons who were out searching. A happy ending. It's nice. (Did anyone shoot the rapids? Anyone at all?)
I prefer White Water Summer. An inspiring movie about an boy, Sean Astin, who's parents send their awkward son on an outward bound summer vacation. Kevin Bacon, the guide, is a hard ass who loves to commune with nature and takes offense at his groups inability to embrace the wilderness. Bacon flips out, smashes Sean's radio, frees the fish caught 'unfairly', and leaves the kids alone over night during a storm prompting a mutiny! The teens rebel and 'accidentally' throw Kevin off of a cliff... (Gasp) Then it's up to the pubescent city slickers to somehow come together, beat the odds and get out of the wilderness alive with an injured Kevin Bacon. It's wrought with tension and in the end Sean Astin shoots the rapids with Bacon in tow to save the day and go on to get cast in Encino Man several years later. Go Samwise Gamgee! Now that's exciting.
But hey, good for the boy that was recently saved from wandering aimlessly in the woods for days, and thanks to all the Mormons who were out searching. A happy ending. It's nice. (Did anyone shoot the rapids? Anyone at all?)
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