Happy Birthday To Me!

Today I am 35 years old... or as my wife put it when she gave me my birthday presents, 'halfway to 70'. Wow! This one snuck up on me. I don't care about being 35, I don't think, but it starts to bother me that I don't plan for birthdays, holidays or special events. I am constantly 'surprised' when the actual day arrives. I feel as if I've said, "I can't believe it's already (FILL IN HOLIDAY OR SPECIAL EVENT). I completely forgot about it this year", more in the past few months than ever before! Now, I know it's practically impossible to forget your own birthday but you get the gist. It's hard to believe that it's already here.

I don't know why that is. I've never really cared about getting older, not that I know of. I mean, maybe there's a small part of me that is counting the years as they click by and is growing increasingly concerned about my inability to - how should I put it? - get ahead? grow up? be self sufficient? figure shit out? I don't know. Sometimes I don't feel like I'm very good at being an adult.

Or maybe it has more to do with missing my mother. This has been a year of firsts for our family, including those birthdays, holidays, and special events that I mentioned earlier. I suppose it is only natural to think of her and miss her, a little more so, on these days. She hasn't been very far from my thoughts all day.

Regardless of the reason, my birthday has crept up on me, and today is that day. So far, I have received several cards, +50 Facebook messages, numerous well wishes, a gift certificate to Audible.com, a White Bear Lake shirt, a dvd, and a well timed delivery of a book I ordered online: The Woman Who Wouldn't. Thank you paperbackswap.com. Tonight I plan on attending a Baysox game with the wife, best friend, and my father. Hopefully, it will be a fun game.