Thank You, Yul!

The bigger picture?   I have to keep it in mind.  That's not always easy as you go through life.  Sometimes I get bogged down by the stress.  Sometimes I'll open a bill, or pay a bill, or spend an afternoon trying to figure out how we can afford a new car and I just shut down.  I get overwhelmed, go silent and want to run off and bury my head in the sand.

Today we were running errands, and I was in a funk.  The baby was just as cute as ever, and Sara was as supportive as she always is but I was not in a good mood.  Then Sara changes the radio channel and the Broadway station plays a song I remember from the 'King and I'.  Yul Brynner sings 'A Puzzlement'.  Do you know the song?  If not, here is a sample of the lyrics.:

'There are times I almost think
I am not sure of what I absolutely know.
Very often find confusion
In conclusion I concluded long ago
In my head are many facts
That, as a student, I have studied to procure,
In my head are many facts..
Of which I wish I was more certain I was sure!'

Now, admittedly, I am not the King of Siam, and my problems would seem trivial when compared to the responsibilities, and stress of an Asian monarch but I relate to the song.  I feel for the man whom doubts the wisdom of his ways.  Even though he has more children than he can count and I have but one, so far, I feel for this man.  He holds his head high, and tries his best.  Sometimes he is stubborn.  Sometimes he makes poor decisions.  Through it all he is just a man - except in Westworld, in which he played a killer cyborg cowboy, but I digress - he is a man, and a man is flawed no matter how perfect he wishes to be. 

Evie Sue visited her 1st pumpkin patch yesterday!  It was just a small roadside farm stand with local produce, pumpkins and a corn maze but it was exactly what Sara and I were looking for.  We both love this time of year, and were looking forward to getting Evie Sue in a photo op with some pumpkins!  It was a beautiful Fall day, a quick little stop, and yet another memory that I'll always cherish.

The Weekend Is Whenever

Several months later here we are.  I'm still working the management job, commuting up to Towson 5 days a week, 10 hour shifts, and 2 days off a week.  That last part is very important.  I get TWO guaranteed days off to spend with my family.  That's valuable time.

Last year I worked almost every single day.  Nowadays I get a weekend, yes it's during the middle of the week but we try to make it work.  We sleep in, but not too long.  We eat breakfast as a family; today was pumpkin pancakes!  We spent some time on the floor playing with baby toys and singing silly songs.  We spend time together as a family. 

Tomorrow I will go back to work but I will be counting the days until my next weekend!

A Few Of My Favorite Things...

Sara had this great idea awhile back.  She put a jar up on the mantle and suggested that the two of us write down little memories, or moments of our 1st year as parents as they happen and put them into the jar.  At the end of the year we will go through the jar and read each memory.  It's a good idea in theory, but I'm not always the best at putting it into practice.  I'm never sure if the entry I have is right for the jar.  Is it significant enough?  Will I remember it when we read about it on New Years?  Does this moment count?  Am I over-thinking this whole thing?

Yes.

I guess what I'm saying is I enjoy everyday of this parenting job; if not every second.  Sometimes it's hard.  I'm working a lot and miss out on somethings.  I'm often preoccupied with adult matters, when I should be focusing on interacting with the Button but I'm trying.  And I try to write down the moments that make me smile, warm my heart, or make me tear up.  I know I'm missing a million though.  As I drift off to sleep I sometimes think of a submission I should make but then I fall asleep.  Or the moments come so fast and furious that I can't keep track of them.  I even sometimes just tell Evie Sue, 'Daddy's favorite part of his day today was coming up the walkway and seeing you and your mommy standing there.  When you recognized me and smiled, that big goofy smile, that was it; my favorite moment from today.' 

Too Damn Quiet

Sara and the baby are out of town, and the dog is staying with my father since my work schedule isn't the greatest for a dog left alone.  The apartment is so quiet.  There's no jiggling of a dog's collar.  No squealing baby.  No singing wife!  The silence is making me sad.  I've kept a TV on or played music all day long just to have something else to listen to besides the quiet.  

Why Bother?

A week ago I wrote this post about creativity, lack thereof, a book I was reading, and leash aggression.  I was reading this book about inspiration and feeling pretty uninspired.  It was a fascinating read, and, at times, alarming.  There was a section that discussed the drop off in creativity during middle age!  A chapter discussed urban friction, a concept which, loosely translated, means that in city settings individuals are forced to interact/cross paths and exchange ideas. 

My previous post was all about how my dog has developed leash aggression since living in seclusion here in Annapolis, and I have not been as creatively productively since moving to the Forest!  I sat on the unpublished post though because it seemed overly negative.  I felt like, unintentionally, it belittled my accomplishments since moving back to MD.  I didn't want to make it seem as if being a father wasn't the best development in my life!  So why bother?  Why bother complaining? 

Quitcha Bitchin, Boy!

I enjoyed the book.  It made me long for the days when I could sit down at my computer and work on a writing project, or wrestle with revisions.  I was approached by a friend to see some of my scripts for possible production in the future.  I enjoy spending my down time playing with baby, and snuggling with mommy.  That's what the life is right now.  So why not enjoy what I can? 

The Adventures of Mr. Tall & Mr. Round

As I walked out of the restroom I noticed two larger men, one tall and one round, waiting in line.  There seemed to be some confusion as to who was next.

Mr. Round said, 'Oh are you next?'

Mr. Tall replied, 'That's alright.  You go ahead.'

Round shuffled around a little and then asked, 'Well, what were you going to do?  Number 1 or...'

'Yeah, number 1.  That's it.' 

Looking a little uncomfortable Mr. Round offered, 'Then you go.  I'll wait.'  Evidently he had to do a number 2!

Really, guys?  Number 1?  Grown men out in public discuss their bodily functions like kindergartners?  Why not just cut out the basic arithmetic and say Poopoos and Peepees? 

PS.  A few minutes later a coworker informed me that the toilet was backed up.  Thank you, Mr Round.

It's All About Perception

I'm fond of saying that I never thought I would move back to Maryland, and if things had gone differently back in the day I probably wouldn't have.  Even though we've been living in Maryland for the past six years part of me has always considered this a temporary situation.   It's not that anything is overwhelmingly terrible about living in the Old Line State, as a matter of fact there are things I enjoy about living here.  Part of us would like to be closer to the other half of the family, in the Midwest, and all of us would love to find a way to relocate back to Chicago; the city which we both love and where we met.

It's interesting to me then when a dear friend from our past comes to town for a few days and visits Maryland for the 1st time.  Our friend, in town for a brief conference in DC, arranged his travel plans so he could visit Annapolis and meet our daughter.  The last time I saw this friend was 5 years ago when I drove through Missouri on my way to our wedding in Minnesota.  The friend was, then, a father to a newborn baby boy, and would not be able to make the trip to Sara's and my nuptials.  That was ages ago.  Now he has two young sons, Sara and I have a daughter and we are all in a different place in our lives.

Our friend seemed to really enjoy Annapolis.  We walked around downtown, checked out the Naval Academy, ate some local fare/crabs and even went for a little kayaking excursion on the Severn River.  It was odd to see our neighborhood, our city, and our lives through the eyes of someone else.  It made me wonder if I sometimes neglect to appreciate what we have and where we are.  When my friend snaps a picture of the river, I stop and wonder when the last time I really noticed the beauty of the river.  When he wanted to walk around the Naval Academy and just take in the architecture it made me feel silly for not having gone there and checked it out since we moved back.  When he savors every morsel of crab he picks from the carcass of a blue crab... well, there I'd have to say I've always loved eating crabs.

It was a good visit.  He joked several times about moving to Annapolis.  This morning as I dropped him off at the Metro station so he could go into DC for his presentation I was sad to see my friend go but happy to have had him visit our family.  Peck is a friend whom, even though we sometimes lose touch, always makes me appreciate the friendship we shared in the past and the bond that grows as we do.  I had a wonderful time. 

Pick A Peck...

Our dear friend, Jonathon Peck is coming to town.  More on this later, I have to get to the airport to meet his flight from the Show Me State.

Every 4 Years!

It's the Summer Olympics!  Yay! I love the Olympics both Summer & Winter.  They're something I look forward two every 4 years.
4years ago I was laid up in hospital bed, having gone through my 2nd percutaneous kidney procedure.  Sara was by my side as I was laid up, draining into a bag, popping pain meds, and watching the Summer Games!  This year with my busy work schedule, & lack of cable television or television viewing time I don't anticipate seeing a lot of the competition.  I'll have to try my best to catch highlights on the news, or find access to footage online.