'Huh?'

"'Huh'? What do you mean, 'Huh'? Ya got two knuckles buried up that crusty, slimy nose of yours. Don't pick your nose when you're dancing. Now go get a tissue."

"Why?"

(The tissue is often quickly used to wipe the edge of the nose then discarded into the trash can. The sleeve is then used as a tissue. The fingers that were just up the nostrils find their way into the mouth, and the kids look at me funny when I ask them to wash their hands.)

Good News/Bad News

The good news is that I had a wonderful Valentine's Day dinner last night with Sara. I grilled some T-Bones, steamed some Crab Legs, and opened a nice bottle of wine. We sat before the fire watching 'Once' and nibbling on chocolate bars from Vosges. We had the Mo's Bacon Bar and our favorite the Red Fire Exotic Candy Bar. Both were delicious.

The bad news is that I received my rejection letter from the Maryland State Arts Council. I did not get the writing grant I applied for this year. That's disappointing.

No F Bombs!

Today I lost my temper. My last class of the day was out of control. They were being introduced to my new co-worker whom was really excited to meet them, and is genuinely a nice lady. These kids, while not general ed, are my more advanced students and highly capable of making a good first impression.

They did not... so I dropped the hammer! I raised my voice and tried to shame the guilty parties into submission. I felt bad for those other students who were completely well-behaved and appropriate but I couldn't take anymore of the rowdiness and disrespect.

I'm just glad I kept a lid on the profanities that kept bubbling to the surface begging to be unleashed. I have rarely felt like more of an adult than I did today as I said, (shudder, shudder) 'Act Your Age!'

Are You Kidding Me?

8 people have been arrested in connection with the Michael Phelps pot scandal? Really? Months after the fact they've arrested people for drug possession and are planning on going after the Olympic athlete? The Sheriff's got a hard on for Phelps and is determined to make an example out of him.

The man smoked some weed. So what? Aren't there real crimes being committed in South Carolina? If you look at the Richland County website you can follow the links for missing persons, unsolved homocides, sexual offenders, and the Most Wanted List. I checked - Micheal Phelps is not on it.

The world doesn't hate Americans cause of George W. They hate us cause we're all idiots! (Some us just happen to be bigger idiots than others!)

When The Folks Are Away

The folks are in Mexico and we thought it might be fun to house sit sans yard work. So we got a little Keg - we always name our little kegs Leroy (it's tradition) - some wine, the house keys and headed down to North Beach for the weekend. We cuddled in front of the fireplace, and kicked back with Tootsie, Trixie and the TIVO. We spent time just hanging out at the house, soaking in the hot tub, walking the dogs, and just unwinding.

Today ended up being a beautiful day so we walked down to the boardwalk and enjoyed the warm weather. It ended up being a very relaxing weekend.

More Disturbing News From The Future

I'm now listening to Isac Asimov's The Naked Sun on audio book. The grumbling, pipe-smoking protagonist is back with his robotic partner working on yet another murder case, this time on a distant world wholly dependent on their robot servants. Oh, and he's still saying Jehoshaphat!

Apparently, in the future, it is not uncommon to condescend to robots by referring to them with the insulting term 'boy'. As in, 'Boy, get me some water,' or 'What is it, boy?' or even 'Listen to me, boy.'

That smacks of racism, doesn't it? The book takes place in the far future but I am amazed how much the future seems to mirror a plantation frrm pre-civil war days only this time the robots are the slaves.

Maybe the author meant to draw that comparison. Maybe it was intentional. Or maybe in addition to be an eccentric claustrophile, and Aviatophobic, Asimov was also racist and I just hadn't heard about it.

I guess, when you think about it, that doesn't really qualify as racism. Prejudice against robots isn't really based on skin color. It's probably more technophobia.

(I'm still fascinated by phobias. www.phobialist.com)

Who's a bigger dickhead? - Mix N Match!

-Match the 3 incidences below with my response to the situation. It's too much fun -

1) Someone recently recorded Patti Lupone screaming at a theatre patron during a performance of Gypsy. Apparently, the patron felt like they were entitled to snap pictures of the live performance and she stopped her song to berate them in front of the audience. She kept shrieking, '...Who do you think you are? Who do you think you are?'...

2) Someone also recorded Christian Bale throwing a hissy fit on the set of the new Terminator movie. Word is that the DP (Director Of Photography)kept walking through Bale's sight line to adjust lighting. Mr. Bale went on an embarrassingly long, F-Bomb fueled, verbal assault of the DP before demanding another take...

3) Someone snapped a cell phone pic of Michael Phelps smoking out of a bong. The 23 year old Olympic Gold Medalist was visiting an acquaintance at a college party where he allegedly smoked marijuana...
________________________________________________________________________________

A)Hey, Batman! Shut the hell up and do your job. The job you are paid ridiculously insane wages to do. Act, you overpaid, overrated dickhead.

B)'Who am I? Who am I? I'm the poor dickhead who paid over a hundred bucks a pop to see this piece of shit show and get yelled at by 'Corky's Mom! Say Cheese!'

C) So what? He smoked a little weed. Half those Olympic athletes are shooting 'roids their entire professional career. Phelps let loose, smoked a little chiba chiba, and has already had to issue an apology... for having some dickhead snap his picture at a party. It doesn't make him less of an American, does it?

'Something touched me deep inside...'

Today marks the 50th Anniversary of The Day The Music Died. February 3rd 1959 - Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens and JP The Big Bopper Richardson die in a plane crash outside of Clear Lake, Iowa. Prompting the music industry to grieve 3 talented musicians who died too young.

I read somewhere that when Waylon Jennings gave up his seat to a sick Big Bopper, Buddy Holly sarcastically said to him something about hoping that their tour bus would freeze. Jennings promptly responded, 'Well, I hope your plane crashes.'

How in the hell do you spell Punxsutawney?

Happy Groundhog's Day!

It snuck up on me this year. My wife and I love the movie and I have to confess that I have the desire, at one point in my life, to visit Punxsutawney, PA, go to Gobbler's Knob (hehehehehehehehe)and witness the celebration first hand.
The link above is just a little video from weather.com. Who knew Phil had so many imitators?

Don't You Judge Me.

Sometimes I still buy comic books. And by 'sometimes' I mean I'm kinda on a first name basis with the comic store owner, he keeps a folder for me, and I get emailed his weekly newsletter. I don't have a $50 a week habit like some people I know but let's face it comics aren't cheap these days. (When I was 'collecting' as a child I would pay for my comics with pocket change. I remember when I thought it was outrageous to pay 75 cents for a new title. -I sound like a grandfather, don't I?) Anyway, I go in every few weeks and see what there is.

Sometimes I buy a comic for nostalgia's sake. There's a new mini-series The Haunted Tank. I remember a former run of this title and thought I'd check out the new one.

Sometimes I get suckered in by a suggestion of the owner. He'll say, "Dude have you read the new Hellboy? I know you dig those comics. Check it out bro."

Then there are the times when a major 'event' is happening in the comic book world and I don't want to be left out of the loop. "What's this 1985 title all about? I wonder?"

But now I'm starting to get annoyed with the industry.

Why, you ask? (Thank you for humoring the little geek inside me who still loves the frosted side.)

Because they're trying to to gouge my pockets. For instance, this past year a certain comic book 'Universe' was having yet another in a long line of crises. This crisis promised to be the final one; the Final Crisis, you might say. So it's supposed to be a 7 part mini-series. Great 7 issues spread out over 7 month's or so; fine!

Wrong! Issue 7 just came out and I realize something is amiss. I feel like there are parts of the story missing. Here's the catch. Comic companies today sell you on a big event like this, claim a mini-series, and then include several other 'tie ins' to the title. Understand?

No? Okay, this 7 issue mini-series is better understood if you also buy a one shot title that supplements the story between issues 3 and 4, then you have to read a few issues of a Batman tie in at some point to find out what happened to the caped-crusader after he was captured, and finally it is important to also purchase a 2 issue 3-D Superman title to understand where the Man of Steel disappeared to before finally reappearing in the climax of the original mini-series you were trying to read in the first place. Not to mention the other titles that have been born from this Final Crisis. It's ridiculous.

Now I know you maybe be saying to yourself, "A grown man buying comics is ridiculous." But I say to you that grown men, and women are the only one's who can afford to buy comics these days. It's not for children anymore. What child do you know could afford to plunk down $2.99, $3.50, and sometimes $4.99 for a comic book title. $5 comic books? That's insane.

So what's my point? I don't really know. This post is really for those people who keep harassing me about having children. Lay off, I can't afford a kid right now I have to find out what really happened to Wolverine!