Odd Bumper Sticker!

'If You Love Jesus...

TITHE

Anyone Can Honk!'

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Unless you don't have a car... or arms.

Then I pictured a poor, armless girl waiting at a bus stop crying because Jesus would never know how much she loves him.

Fame VS Flame

Student: Hey, teacher do you want to hear a joke?

Teacher: You have a good joke? Sure, let me have it.

Student: (Reading from a joke book.) Where do great dragon athletes go when they retire?

Teacher: I don't know. Where do great dragon athletes go when they retire?

Student: To the Hall of Fame! (Laughs hysterically.)

Teacher: Um, are you sure that's not supposed to read, "Hall of FLAME!"?

Student: (Without missing a beat.) Hall of FLAME! (Laughs hysterically.)

Teacher: Get it? Dragons! Flames!

Student: Yeah, flame! Hall of Flame! That's a good one, huh?

Hear Ye! Hear Ye!

This past weekend I visited my very first Renaissance Festival!

The history buff in me appreciated the atmosphere, and spectacle of it all, but the geeky child in me giggled at all the corseted bosoms, and theatre geeks.

It was fun. A few acres jam-packed with what are supposedly Medeval games, foods, crafts, foods, sword fighting, foods on a stick, jousting, fried foods on a stick and kid friendly shows. I especially enjoyed the jalapeno cheeseburger fries. (I hear they were popular among the Knights of the Round Table.)

I plan on going back at a time when I am not chaperoning my nephew, or parents. It was fun to experience it all through a child's eyes, but I look forward to returning at a time when I can be more adult. Nothing combines history and fun like plastic cups of light beer, a smoked turkey leg, and the battle axe toss!

Britney Blunder.

I don't know how it happened... okay, that's a lie.

This morning on the news there was a story on Britney Spears' performance on the MTV Music Awards. Apparently it didn't go well but the rest of the event was a smash.

Then on the way to work today Howard Stern was discussing it. Apparently Britney was bad, and the rest of the show was horrendous.

Then I logged on to my email this morning before class and there was an article on her performance along with a video. I watched it. It wasn't the worst thing I've ever seen. The article talked about flubbed lip-synching, a bad wardrobe, and poor quality of her performance but was under the opinion that the Awards Ceremony was a huge success.

So, today in my TV Production class someone brings up Britney Spears. We were discussing celebrity news, and her name popped up so I used her career as an illustration of a story line. Cute little child star - Fresh-faced Pop Newcomer - Pop Superstar - Hollywood Celebrity - Mrs. Federline - Mother - Divorced - Wild Child - Bald - Cannon Fodder for Jay Leno, etc.

We skipped all of the beaver shots, and acts of hedonism that wouldn't be appropriate to discuss in a school environment. We ended the time line with Britney's MTV performance. One of my students asked with what appeared to be genuine concern, "What's going to happen to her?"

I confessed that I couldn't be sure and that that is what makes her story interesting. The news is how will she respond to the criticism and uber negative, vicious comments being posted on-line about her? What will be her next move? Will her star rise again or be trampled under the foot of that slack-jawed, oafish, tempermental beast known as Fame? I then told them that during the course of the semester if they spotted any Britney Spears News to bring it to class and we would update the story line.

They seemed to enjoy the class.

Limping Through The Sky

Once again I stood against the stiff breeze - (Hehe, I said Stiff) - string in hand, guiding my lame dragon through the air. Suddenly, a gust of wind kicks up around us and the patio umbrella takes flight. Sara reaches up and prevents the umbrellas escape, and I, kite in one hand, cellular phone in the other, rush over to lend a free hand.

I don't have one.

1 minute later & the umbrella was secure, my phone call prematurely terminated and my kite, once again, floating in the Chesapeake Bay. So I waded in after my cheap, plastic dragon kite which cost me $2. I rescue it.

Unfortunately, the string has come unwound and caught up in the rocks of the shoreline. I work against the rising tide to untangle the tangle. I get free, only to be confronted by the single worst, monstrosity of a knot ever to be seen on a string.

Part of me wants to just say, "Fuck It!" Throw the string into the bay and forget about my little lame dragon. But I don't.

I spent close to a half hour working on that knot. Yeah, okay, a half hour isn't that long but it seems like an eternity when your working on a knot. I did it. Freed the dragon, fought down my impatience and lived to tell the tale... and all for a kite.

Sometimes the little victories are the sweetest.

My First Day With The Kids.

"My hobby is to be annoying. I like to annoy people. I'm good at being annoying!"

"My favorite animal is the BLUE WHALE... The largest animal to ever live on the planet! Shut up! It is TOO!" (No one had raised an objection before the outburst.)

"I'm Doing Yoga!"

"Huh, Mister 'Corn On The...'"

"2 Unbelievable SONOROUS Farts!" *

* Window-Rattling! Ear-popping! Thunderous! - It was hard to keep a straigh face.

Let Me Get This Straight

We move here from Chicago, a town which we LOVE with friends whom we are fond of, for a job opportunity, to be closer to family, and to hopefully gain a little financial stability?

I just started a new job. I won't get paid for another 3 weeks. I have less than $2oo bucks to my name, no savings account to speak of, an 80 mile round trip commute per day and gas is $2.68 per gallon, not to mention the overdue bills that we're having to gloss over and a wedding to plan... the clock is ticking; just 3 months to go.

JEEEEZUS! I hate to go begging for more money. When will I feel like an adult?

Vitality 5

Over the weekend I flew to Chicago to see Speaking Ring Theatre's 5th annual Vitality Festival. My script, Kings Of Cabbage, won the audience choice award. Not to belabour the obvious but that means that my script was chosen, by the audience as their favorite show in the festival.

That also means that my script will be produced AGAIN.

I couldn't have been happier with the production. The director, my friend Erin Rooney, really nailed the show. She created a very specific world, and cast a talented group of actors to breathe life into the show. Each of the three actors, 1 M & 2 F, were wonderfully zany, committed to their roles and had their time to shine onstage. (I actually enjoy laughing at a show with the audience, sometimes I am the only one amused by my writings.)

There are past shows that I am proud of, there are shows that I wish could be revised and produced again, but this was the most fun I've ever had watching a show that I've written. So thank you Rooney, and thank you to the cast: Neil Arsenty (The Walrus), Erin Orr (The Carpenter), and Aubrey Brown (The Solicitor). Break A Leg At Abbie Hoffman!

My Yesterday

7:20 PM - The time that Southwest Flight 1717 was supposed to leave BWI en route to Chicago.

10:20 PM- The time posted for our flight delay due to inclement weather.

11:45 PM- The second time given for departure, after our flight delay, which actually was the departure time for Southwest Flight 806 originally schedule to leave at 2:30 PM.

12:30 AM - Yet another projected time of departure for Southwest Flight 1717.

1:15 AM - The time that our flight actually taxied to the runway for departure.

2:00 AM - (Central Time Zone) I step off of my quick little flight to Chicago for the weekend.

I spent a long time in the airport yesterday, and I wasn't the only one. Apparently there were weather fronts, and storm warnings and all kinds of delay causing phenomenon. Many flights were delayed and even cancelled. When I walked through the terminal in Chicago there were dozens of people sleeping on cots that the airlines had put out for the stranded.

My Day Before Yesterday

My mother was going back into the hospital. Her Cancer has come back. I was in Chicago the first time my mother got sick. She told me to not to bother flying back, that everything that could be done was being done. It was a waiting game. I felt so helpless.

It’s different this time. She’s not showing symptoms. She’s not ill. Her Cancer Indicators are rising, and a scan has revealed a tumor, or something in her abdomen. This procedure is to head the Cancer off at the pass. Go in, take a look around for other signs of the disease, remove the tumor, and get ready for some serious chemo. She’s been cancer free for several years now.

The operation took a good part of the day. We camped out in the waiting room; trying to read our books, listen to music, watch a little TV. Anything to keep our thoughts off of the ticking clock. The day crept by.

The surgery went well. The tumor was removed, and sent away for testing. There didn’t appear to be other signs of Cancer. Her doctor felt really good about the outcome. We all shook his hand and thanked him very much. Then I went outside to call my brothers and give them an update.

*An interesting side note here is that my mother is being treated at Walter Reed. It’s a military hospital here in D.C. and apparently it is where many wounded soldiers get sent when they come home from Iraq. I saw at least ten wounded soldiers during the course of the day. Now I watch the news, and I hear the reports of roadside bombs, wounded soldiers, etc,, but seeing those soldiers walking through the halls of the hospital on prosthetic legs, or in wheelchairs acutely aware of their newly amputated limbs puts it all in a different light.