Your Mothers Must Be So Proud.

I overheard two teenage girls- I would guess around 15 or so - on the train yesterday. Among the many inane comments, and idiotic babble that the two were exchanging at an obnoxious volume was this particular gem.

"Oh My God! Piercing Your Belly Button Doesn't Hurt. Just Go Home And Drink Some Gin or Whiskey. You'll Be Fine!"

"I'll Have A Jack Daniels And Coke. That's So Good! Oh, And I Love Long Island Iced Teas."

"I Love Long Island Iced Teas, Too. But I Can Only Drink Like Two Of Them!"

"Yeah, Me Too."

"Yeah."

I just shook my head and once again wished to only have male offspring. Then an hour later I see this teenage kid wearing his huge, enormous, baggy, baggy jeans sdrawkcab... Backwards! WTF? Are you kidding me? That wasn't even cool back in the early 90's when Kriss Kross sported that stupid look in their music videos. His pants were on backwards!

Kids!

Standing At The Foot Of A Mountain...

...Of Laundry!

Geez, when did I get this many clothes?

I've only worn this shirt once...

Who's socks are these?

Have I ever worn pink?

This shirt must of been from when I wasn't fat... 8th grade.

I don't think I'll have enough quarters...

It'll take me 2 months to do all of this laundry... I have to move in 3 weeks...

I haven't even started cleaning the kitchen yet.

So much to do... I need a drink.

"Opportunities are usually disguised as hard work, so most people don't recognize them."
- Ann Landers

Maryland Bound!

Holy Crap! I'm going to be a teacher! A teacher! Me!

It's official. This morning the Prince George's County, Md School Sytem and the James E Duckworth School offered me a position as a provisional teacher. I will be working with a class of 4 to 5 Autistic Children, middle school age. I am going to start the first week in November.

Short notice!
Big Change!
Great Opportunity!
So many things to take care of...

Am I Hired?

Would you leave?

Seriously, think about it.

If a job opportunity arose, an opportunity for which you were uniquely suited but underqualified, and you were being considered for the position, would you consider it?

If years of crappy jobs, financial duress, and dead ends had left you feeling helpless, and lost, would you take a step towards something better?

If you had to leave your home of 8 years, and some of your friends for a chance to get on track again and make a difference, could you?

I have the love and support of my family, and my girlfriend - I am not doing anything here in Chicago that I couldn't do if I moved - I would be able to go back to school - I would get to accomplish something that matters - I could be a good uncle - and I could walk away from waiting tables and never look back, hopefully - I might even feel like an adult... eventually.

I would love to work with Children with Autism, again. If they give me the job I will do my best to rise to the occasion. I hope I am given the chance.

Cab 1301

One of the things I will miss most when we leave this city, this urban never neverland that we inhabit, are the cabbies. They can make your whole night.

Tonight we had a great night. Watched some Bears football, spent some time with a married couple whom we really just love, and spent a night laughing at each other. On the way home we flag down a taxi and when we open the door Bon Jovi's Living On A Prayer is blasting on the radio. As if this wasn't good enough the cabbie starts to play the harmonica along with the song. He didn't make a spectacle out of it or anything, just calmly lifted a harmonica to his lips and started jamming. Next came a reall bad cover of Locomotion and so continues the harmonica...

It might seem like a small, little, simple thing but we were giggling in the back seat like a couple of 8 year olds. That silly guy...

If Only

Do you remember the last time you left work, walked out of your job and felt good - like you were doing something worthwhile?

Eyes squint.

The jaw lightly clenches.

The head tilts a little to the left.

"8 years ago. It was a summer job working with 'special needs' children, and it was the probably the last time I felt like I was making a difference."

You can never turn back time... or can you?

Today I Saved A Kitten.

Now I don't expect a medal or anything but I felt pretty pleased with myself. It took me 45 minutes of scrambling, stretching, reaching, offering tuna, and choking on cobwebs, all the while balanced on a porch guard rail but I got the job done.

This litter of kittens and the mom were tucked away in the roof of this old house's porch. Apparently the mother and 3 of her kittens had recently abandoned their hiding place, but one scared little kitten refused to leave the nest... um, well you understand. I was walking down the street and heard the kitten crying. The neighbor lady already had the other cats in her backyard but was worried that she couldn't get the last little kitten down, and that it might fall. So we tried everything we could thing of to get the kitten down. I could see her. She was close enough to lick my finger tips but just out of reach above me. Just when I thought I had her she would crawl back into the shadows.

Eventually, however, I stood on the porch with this beautiful little kitten in the palm of my hand with my knees shaking. Her eyes were bright blue and she was just adorable. I kindly declined the offer of the neighbor lady to keep the kitten - my allergies would not allow it and my dog would not be pleased at all - and walked home partly wishing that I had said yes.

The rest of the day was pretty routine - applying for jobs, running errands, getting my computer back online, etc - but today I saved a kitten!

Change is in the air.

Sick and tired of spinning my wheels. Bogged down in the everyday. Here's something new... a chance. What could it hurt? Nothing. What could it change? Everything.

Bad Joke That The 7 Eleven Clerk Used At Midnight Last Thursday

So this guy dies, right? So he's dead and he goes up to heaven and he sees the pearly gates. Right before he gets to the gates an angel pops out and says, "Whoa, hold on a minute. Before you can get into heaven you have to answer one question."

The Man says, "Okay, what's the question?"

"What is God's First Name?"

"That's easy," says the man, "God's first name is Andy."

The angel responds, 'That's ridiculous! What would make you guess Andy?"

"Well, when I was a young boy we would sing this song in church. 'ANDY walks with us... ANDY talks with us...'"


Me? I just wondered why I was buying a slurpee on my way home from work?