I've Often Wondered...

Did you ever notice in the movie Stand By Me that when the boys come to the bridge and Vern asks, "Any of you guys know when the next train is due?"... instead of walking 5 miles down river to another bridge and 5 miles back, they choose to cross the railroad bridge and then have to out run the oncoming locomotive and barely avoid a nasty, bloody end... so why didn't anyone say, "Hey, Gordie or Chris Or Vern Or Teddy, why don't we just hang out and wait for the next train? After it passes then we'll go across. How's that for logic?" Hmmmm?

Maybe it wouldn't be as dramatic but at least Vern wouldn't have lost his comb!

WTF?

http://articles.news.aol.com/news/article.adp?id=20051011095909990006

I repeat: WTF?

Bear Farming? Bear Farming? I never saw this booth at my college job fairs!

This dude, this Han Shigan, was attacked, killed and then eaten by the black bears that he had been raising for their bile. Am I the only one who didn't know that there were farmers, mostly in China, who raised bears to tap their stomach bile? They use bear bile as a cure all!

Has Alka-Seltzer lost its charm? Tylenol not really doing the trick anymore? "Honey, my cataract's acting up again! Break out the tub of Bear Bile!"

Wasting My Day

What should I do?
Should I do the laundry?
Should I clean the kitchen?
The bathroom?
Should I start another book?
Maybe I should send away those scripts I've been working on...
Or should I finish the other, the one about timing that I never seem to be able to end?
Or the other one or the other one or the other one?
Then again I could just put off everything until I have to go to work, and then spend the whole night kicking myself for not having accomplished anything today -
Again

In The Interest Of Fair Play

You were out! OUT! O! U! T!

I hate to be the kill joy here for any Sox fans... I'm not even a baseball fan, or a sports enthusiast but Holy Crap what a bad call!

I hope that BJ you gave the Ump before the game was worth it!

What A Bunch Of Jerks

Today as I was enjoying a plate of Banger's & Mash at a local Irish Pub I happened to glance at the Police Beat of a local free paper: Inside. The Police Beat always covers robberies, arson, assaults, and various other arrests.

I almost choked on my lunch! I guess they don't make criminals like they used to.

http://www.insideonline.com/site/epage/4444_162.htm

Go to the 23rd and 18th District (Half Way Down The Page) and read the post about 12 Men in 14 Days. I can only imagine the shame of being put in the lock up and having to explain to the murderers, thieves and violent offenders that you were busted for 'Spanking It' on the street corner!

A Sign?

So I took a Taxi home from work tonight, after having a few beers with a few of my co-workers. As I stepped from the cab I turned back and examined the backseat for anything I might've dropped.

Oh there's a quarter... No, it isn't. It's a little medal medallion with an angel carved on it. For someone who isn't very religious or even spiritual it made me smile. Perhaps I do believe in something greater than myself...

Sometimes I just need proof.

Word Of The Day

This 'Word of the Day' is brought to you by the Chicago Transit Authority; causing commute distress and vocational tardiness for longer than anyone can remember!

Alight - verb; to come down from something (as a vehicle)

Today, as I was on the train going to work the train driver made the following announcement, "Attention Customers, this is a southbound Brown Line Train towards the Loop. This train will not stop at Wellington or Diversey. I repeat, this Brown Line Train will not be stoppping at the Wellington or Diversey stationed. The next stop will be Fullerton. Passengers wishing to alight at the Wellington or Diversey stop must first switch to a northbound train at Fullerton, and then alight at your desired stop."

She made the announcment four or five times and each time used the word alight at least two, sometimes three times. I found myself wondering if she had turned her Vocabulary Building Calendar to 'alight' and was determined to use the word as much as possible in the following 24 hrs.

Uptown!

The Uptown that belongs to Nick!

When did I last grace it's classless walls?

Back in the day that's where I roamed... on the hunt.

Nowadays I pop in play darts with my brother and walk home, wishing for a good nights sleep.

Oh, Nicky No! Don't... Why?

Nicolas Cage and his wife, Alice Kim, welcomed their first child into the world this week. The couple chose to name the boy Kal-El Coppolla Cage...

KAL-EL! Kal-El? (Superman's Kryptonian Name)

Why don't you just slap a 'kick me' sign on his back, hike up his pants, breast feed him until fifth grade, and instill in him a love of insect larvae? This kid's heading for years and years of torment! Those kindergarteners are going to eat him alive! Not only will he have to suffer through countless calls of, "Snap Out Of It!" & "Your father was in Con-Air" but now he's been named after Superman by a man who, allegedly, was supposed to star in a Superman movie but then got passed over for some no-name actor who looks good in a tight suit. That kid is going to be a social leper! A poor Kal-El...

In a related story Jared, The Subway Guy, has, reportedly, announced that his next child shall be named 'Apple Inspektor Coco Subway Guy.

Hmmmm?

He offered me a job.

Said he could use someone just like me.

Handed me his card and said to let him know. There'd be a job waiting for me at his bar.

The address read:

22 Cumberland Street, Toronto Ontario M4w 1J5